Afraid children won’t look like me

Alexandria Jones
Columbus, OH

As a biracial woman (African American and Caucasian) who married a Caucasian man I’m afraid that our future children will not resemble me and I will have to constantly explain/prove to other people that my children are mine!!

Keep the conversation going - comment and discuss with your thoughts

4 Responses to "Afraid children won’t look like me"
  1. Cathy says:

    No rule says you must explain. We are white parents of an adopted, mixed-race child. The challenge is having to decide if I want to explain every time the question comes up. Most people seem to be well-intentioned when asking. I don’t always feel right giving them a rude reply, even if the question is rude. The biggest challenge by far is how to respond to the few people who are obviously disapproving. When those times come up, trust your judgement.

  2. Alize Cox says:

    As Cathy stated down below there is no rule that says you must explain. There is no rule that states that you must prove your children are your children. The challenge will be having to decide to explain every time the question is asked. I know from my own personal experience. Both my parents are biracial. My mother (Black, White, Mexican, and Native American), my father (Black and Native American). My mom is really light-skinned and my dad really dark-skinned, so I am a tone in between the two. Though I look dead of both my parents, just a different skin tone, I am constantly ask if they are my real parents. Though I happen to believe that the hardest challenge is going to be explaining to your children why some people are so disapproving of them being mixed. I happen to believe that since I grew up around a lot of different races it was something I didn’t notice until I was older and already had the knowledge to know that it was okay to be of mixed race.

  3. Emma Leigh says:

    Read the story behind “Yes they are my real kids.”

  4. Greg Walton says:

    This reminds of a Black American woman who upon marrying and having a child by a Caucasian American man, lamented over the color of her child, who happened to have very light skin and blond hair. She apparently thought that with her coloring and that of the father, her son would have more of a cafe au lait coloring.

    When she made the statement, I wondered that at some level, was this a perverted biological engineering based upon self-hatred at being black?

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