The culmination of hate and hope.

Me (4)Kimberly,
Pittsfield, MA.

My father, whom I don’t know, is black and my mother is white. I was raised in a White, Irish family. Growing up, no one in my family looked like me, but I never noticed until ‘Roots’ premiered on TV.
I had my son with a white man, so he is one quarter black, but is assumed to be Caucasian because of his appearance. My newly arrived grandson, is also white. And so for all these reasons, I spend a good deal of time (as does my son) trying to convince others that I was NOT adopted and that I AM a biological member of my own family.
In addition, there are two basic facts that I perpetually have to deal with; the fact that I am not white AND the fact that I am not black. People assume I ‘have the best of both worlds’ – in some ways; yes. There is a presumption that I am somehow less likely to be ‘ghetto’ or ‘hood’. My appearance often confuses people as to my origin, so they err on the side of caution. I am able to visibly tan, and have slightly less conflict with my hair. People find me more approachable than someone they consider ‘black’. I am often described as ‘exotic’ looking.
However, in other ways; no. I am still the target of racism, from both groups! Whites who do not accept others, recognize that no matter how ‘light’ I am, I am not ‘one of them’. And Blacks have a tendency to assume I ‘think I’m better’ or ‘act white’. There is a resentment from Black women, in particular about their ‘light skinned sisters’ stealing their men. But when I date white people, I am accused of ‘dissing my brothers’.
All this is based solely on MY OWN EXPERIENCES. But I believe that while I am a target for all the hate and resentment from both races, (and others), I also represent the future. Because that creamy beige, has become unremarkable. It could be a mixture of ANY ethnic combination, and so as more and more people become that color, the origins of it will become less and less important. …that’s my hope, at least.

Keep the conversation going - comment and discuss with your thoughts

2 Responses to "The culmination of hate and hope."
  1. nasche says:

    I am a casting producer over at Pitman Casting. I am casting a new TV show where I need people who want to change their race or believe they should be another race. I saw your comment about race. I wanted to see if you or anyone you knew would be interested in this show. Thank you so much for your time! My apologies if I offend anyone. Just trying to get the word out there about the new show.

  2. Brandi says:

    That sounds like an interesting show and I would watch it, but I don’t think that’s what she’s saying. Kimberly, people have a tendency to gravitate toward those who are like them, those they identify with. You have a wider spectrum and that’s great! However, you catch slack from many and that puts you about where the rest of are anyways. I imagine a lot are jealous of your beauty alone and maybe of the way you grew up. And then some people are just on the snooty side. It’s hard to know what they’re thinking. It’s also very natural to be interested when you see differences. Some people just love to learn about other cultures. Forget what everyone else likes or doesn’t like. What do you like? Who are you interested in? Thanks for your input and perspective.

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