DATING AS A “BLACK” MAN…

good-black-manNR Jr.,
Tampa, FL.

So as a paid volunteer in the US Armed Forces who has traveled extensively across the world. America has a “big” color issue. I spent 6 years living abroad and coming “home” is the worst thing ever… Let me give you the reader a take into my thus short life of 29 years and counting (pending some supreme diety/iess doesn’t call me home). I was “fortunate” to be a highly intelligent child in my school years and on into college. Unfortunately I don’t have the “right” complexion to match the intelligence. As a child I was called an oreo, picked on by other black kids, loved by white kids, even had some parents tell me “i would never let my daughter date a black person but you are different.” I thought this was a “compliment” but as I got older, it is just plain out colorism (racism is the more commonly accepted term.) Why can’t I just be me? I don’t want to be boxed in by the color of my flesh or what someone else perceives my skin color to tell them about me. I am tired of being sexualized or someone’s fantasy based from an arbitrary mindset. When living abroad I felt loved by other nations and cultures, but coming back home is coming back to hatred/ second rate treatment and lots of mistreatment. I dated women form all diff backgrounds and cultures, but from my experiences in America, I don’t have the right complexion to be a well qualified bachelor. I am a product of my lived experiences and let’s all be honest, having the brown colored skin especially the darker shade in America sucks! Now being that I am an credentialed health care provider and have pieces of papers (degrees) behind it I may get a “pass”, but that’s twice as bad.

It’s almost like exceptionalism is the new colorism. Being military also adds to that, but no one knows that when you are wearing air max 90 and a Pokemon hoodie LOL. White privilege is nice… I’m tired of being people saying I don’t date “black” people. To me who wants to limit their resources in the dating pool? My parents always told me I have to be twice as smart and I will only be worth half as much. Man they weren’t lying! I just want to be a regular guy, but being regular is subjective to your complexion. The standards for dating a black guy are significantly higher than they are for a white man. I have read lots of articles from people who are in these multicultural marriages and a good percentage of the time it’s an more affluent couple, they aren’t your average run of the mill people you would encounter on a daily basis. So they are the exception not the rule. White America (did I say that?) very much still has a problem with black males and their perception/treatment of “us” is second rate and it plays out heavily in the dating/social scene. You lucky white people… what I wouldn’t give for a day in your shoes…

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