He said, ” I have black friends”

Jeanette
Staten Island
, NJ

Seriously? So, what…does that make you “not” prejudiced? One of my very good friends said this to me years ago while we were discussing who would or would not marry. My answer to that was typical – someone who treated me right and respected me – doesn’t matter what color he is. My friend said he would never marry a black girl. When I told him that he was prejudiced, he said “but I have black friends”. Sheesh.

Keep the conversation going - comment and discus with your thoughts

  • Doug

    But would you marry a woman? If not, does that make you homophobic? I don’t think it does. You can still *not* be racist even if you don’t want an interracial marriage for yourself.

    • jc

      in order for the writer to consider marrying a woman her sexual orientation would first need to be homosexual rather than heterosexual. If a heterosexual woman isn’t interested in marrying another woman it doesn’t make her homophobic. She’s homophobic only if she believes there is something wrong with two homosexuals being married or engaging in a loving relationship.
      The idea that someone would out of hand exclude an entire race as potential marriage partners, rather than seeing each person as an individual, is indeed a racist attitude.

      • Victoria Valle

        I don’t believe that not wanting to marry someone of another race makes a person racist. There have been many bi-racial marriages in my family — my grandparents, my son, my bother, my cousins. I am OK with all that. However, they all have been hassled because of their choices. Some people just prefer not to have to deal with the challenges. Does that make them racist? I don’t think so. Do they limit their possibilities for finding true love? Maybe. But half of all marriages end in divorce anyway. It is a personal choice.

        • Doug

          Thank you, that’s my point. Who you marry is a personal preference. If you don’t find blondes attractive, that’s not prejudice, that’s preference. If you don’t find short people attractive, that’s preference, not prejudice. If you don’t find blacks attractive, that’s preference, not prejudice.

          • Victoria Valle

            My comment was not based upon perceptions of physical attractiveness, or the lack thereof. It was based upon the willingness, or unwillingness, to deal with social repercussions.

          • Matt

            That’s flatout ignorant… Anyone who can flatout generalize the way you did is unintelligent period. How someone can simply say they’d never date someone based on a hair color or a skin color is ignorant. Because for all you know, there is that one person who is positively perfect for you. To per-emptively judge somebody based on a look is the very definition of prejudice…

  • E.L.W.

    I like your response to you and your friend’s discussion. That is very true. It does not matter the type of race an individual is or the color of their skin as well. As long as the person has a good personality and treats you right then that’s all what matters. Who knows? Maybe one’s own race can treat them the total opposite of good. It can happen! Like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, people should not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

  • Krane

    Well, as always, it depends on how you define “racism.” To a lot of Americans a “racist” could never have Black friends, just like a “nazi” could never have Jewish friends. However liberals define it as anyone who notices race. This individual clearly has no hatred for Black individuals simply for being Black, but, in his own life he wants his wife and children to be Whites.

  • Cierra

    So basically if a black woman was his soulmate and he knew that, he wouldn’t marry her for the fact that she is black…. Idiot……

    • Krane

      Ask yourself WHY are they soulmates? The word “soulmate” is a cultural marxist creation with the purpose of encouraging promiscuity, level headed people recognize there can be no such thing. Can you define the word “soulmate?” Usually it’s just “well I love her so there.” It’s just an attempt to translate our impure instincts into cultural marxist-approved thought processes. “Soulmatedness” doesn’t spawn out of the ground.

  • Anonymous

    So basically your friend is willing to let the color of a woman’s skin decide whether or not he can be happy in a relationship? That’s unfortunate on his part.

  • Him not wanting to marry a black woman does not necessarily make him racist.However the tone of the statement “never marry a black girl” can be taken that way. Why specifically a black girl? Why the demeaning use of the word girl instead of woman? Anyone who thinks in this way could take that as racist. Not to mention, him trying to justify that he isn’t prejudice by saying he has black friends is slightly odd. Because let’s be honest there could always be that possibility of him having the black friends for the sole purpose of using them to prove he’s not racist. But his upbringing and how he behaves around them or behind their backs could say otherwise.

  • Robbie

    I never understood that. Having black friends doesn’t make you not racist to some degree I can say because it’s still like you’re befriending someone of black race and being racist is like not interacting with that race at all, in a positive way.

  • Erin Camp

    Just because you have black friends it doesn’t give you the right to be prejudice.

  • D

    Assuming your friend is white, ask him if he would ONLY marry a white women. It’s so easy and sometimes misguided for us to make assumptions about a person we don’t know based on a small piece of a conversation. I can certainly see how his comments could raise questions about a his beliefs. Well, that would be the perfect time to just ASK, “What do you mean by that?”

  • Robert

    This is a great example of how anti-racist is a code word for anti-White. Your friend clearly has no hostility to Black people, even counting them among his friends. Yet, his desire to be White, to marry another White, to have White children is considered “racist.” They say they’re anti-racist. What they are is anti-White.

 

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