Your husband’s black? But you’re Asian.

CNNina Ball,
Baltimore, MD.

When people first meet my husband and/or see a picture of us together, the surprise is obvious. I’ve had a few people outright tell me that they just assumed he was Korean. More often than not, I get the question, “What do your parents think?” When they find out that, like me, he’s an attorney, some people look utterly gobsmacked. How sad and pathetic is it that many are still shocked that a black man in America can be intelligent and successful, and not a drug dealer or thug? We have a black president, people, come on. On the same token, there have been occasions when my husband has introduced me to someone who did not know that I’m not black, and their surprise is just as obvious. Though my husband tends not to notice as much as I do, we get our fair share of double-takes and raised eyebrows from people on the street or in stores. I don’t know if that’s a reaction to him, to me, or to the two of us together. Someone once asked whether I thought at all about the difficulties we would encounter as an interracial couple, and I told them truthfully that I had. When they asked why I would put myself through that, I answered simply that I wasn’t going to let other peoples’ hatred and prejudices keep me from being happy, and that I would rather be with him and deal with whatever prejudices we’re going to encounter than not be with him just for that one reason. I’ve been dealing with racism and prejudices my entire life anyway, and I’d rather have him by my side than deal with it alone.

Keep the conversation going - comment and discuss with your thoughts

  • reflectalittle

    Congratulations! As a White female married to an Asian male. I understand the odd looks and double takes in public, and getting the question “why would you put yourself through additional relationship hardships?” Wishing you joy and success in your lives.

  • medikush

    More power to the 2 of you. Many people don’t realize that the earth was populated through interracial relationship. So why now the hatred?

  • MonaM3

    Your husband looks Ethiopian, is he? As a black woman [an Ethiopian, too] dating outside her “race” I congratulate you both. I have learned this through the handful years I lived in America: that only unhappy people deal with hatred and anger. So pity them. Don’t let them tell you who you should date, and love.

 

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