I am white, uncomfortable around white’s

Paige
USA

I’m am a white woman, oddly uncomfortable being around all white people. Maybe because I date black men, maybe because I hear so many racial slurs (against blacks). Maybe because I see how judgmental white people are to minorities. White people treat me as though I am wrong for dating outside my race. White men think I am “ruined” for dating black men (A white guy friend of mine once told me that) . I have a sense of comfort around black people or any other minority for that matter. I feel safe, I feel at ease, not judged. I don’t feel like an outsider or a “trader.”

Keep the conversation going - comment and discus with your thoughts

  • JMB_372

    I am also white and never liked white culture. It’s so cold, harsh, stuck-up and judgmental. I would rather live alone with animals than with people like that.
    I live in a city with a large Mexican and Latino population and I was always most comforted and at ease with Latinos. They have been warm, friendly, straightforward, compassionate and never judgmental. I hope Latino culture can influence white culture to make it better. Please God, don’t let it be the other way around!
    I have known whites who are wonderful people, they’re not all horrible – but it does seem like at least 50% of the whites I’ve known were awful. Being raised by such people is one of the reasons teenagers are so miserable.

  • fern

    you specifically date black men? the fetishisation of poc is also something to be mindful of in terms of dismantling systematic prejudice & oppression -

  • Paige

    Is that the only thing you picked up from what I wrote? That I date black men? Not once did I say I specifically ONLY date black men. You made that assumption.

  • JMB_372

    With all the emotional and cultural issues involved, dating can be complicated. Maybe that’s why many simply conform to cultural and family pressure and marry someone who conforms to expectations instead of really searching for the right one. From what I’ve seen this often doesn’t turn out well and perpetuates the same cycle.
    Because of the horrible white men I knew growing up and the culture that made them that way, I knew I was biased towards non-whites, especially Latinos. I knew any bias is bad and tried to overcome it. Over time I’ve learned to connect with and appreciate men for who they are, and I’ve known wonderful men who are white, black, and Latino. I didn’t get to date all of them, but I would if I had the opportunity. One day the right one will come along and I don’t know what color he will be. He will be interesting, smart, and competent and he will love and appreciate me.

 

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