Invisible white mother feels demographic betrayal

Amy Chai
New Haven, CT

I am “white.” I am not European-American, I do not have permission to honor my heritage with a hyphen. I am simply a member of the melanin challenged group that bears collective blame for something that some British, African, and Arab people did a few hundred years ago. It doesn’t matter that I am Scandinavian, with no British, African, or Arab blood at all.

I am also the mother of “mixed race” (AKA HUMAN) children. My child was sitting in a group of Asian girls, and they told her that she could “pass” and did not have to admit to having white blood. They encouraged her to deny me. I am not the only white mother to feel this type of pain–the pain that comes from knowing that your “whiteness” is something that stains your child’s PC potential in this screwed up society in which we live.
I recall feeling happy because Obama was biracial. I didn’t vote for him, but I couldn’t help liking the fact that he came from a family like mine. That was before the 2010 census came out. In the census, although he had the opportunity to affirm his mixed heritage, he decided to mark, “African-American” only on his form. He got to celebrate, hyphenate, and dance on his mother’s grave. After the moment I heard about Obama’s census, I hated him. I hated him on behalf of his mother, who is dead but even if she were alive she would never have the heart to hate him for his betrayal. She would probably even understand why he did it, and maybe even say that it was the right thing to do. White mothers are supposed to be invisible, and be ashamed.

The definition of racism: Making someone feel ashamed because of who they are on the basis of race. Anyone who feels ashamed of being white is a victim of racism. Never apologize for who you are.

Keep the conversation going - comment and discus with your thoughts

  • Frank_DeScushin

    Amy, I applaud you for sharing truths that are often attacked with venom in our increasingly anti-white society. I too am the parent of a mixed race child, and I too fear that one day my family will be rejected because my child will be increasingly pressured to reject her white side. Since all races in America but for whites are encouraged to keep a racial identity, and for whites it’s not only forbidden but considered evil it takes a strong young person to not cave to the pressure to more strongly identify with their non-white side. Since I don’t anticipate that this societal dynamic will change because it is being driven by academia and the media and other societal opinion formers, I hope that our children do not fall prey to this indoctrination. Best of luck, Amy.

  • 55 years a Black Man

    I also understand, unfortunately you are a victim of the American One Drop rule: Anyone in America who cannot show that they have an all-Caucasian ancestry is considered a Non-Caucasian.

    This rule was created in America about the time Caucasian slaveholders realized that the mixed children of their sexual union with African slaves would cause them to lose potential wealth if their offspring were deemed as Caucasians since Caucasian could not be deemed to be chattel property!!

    • Frank_DeScushin

      Nice try on blaming mixed children disassociating from their white side on the one-drop rule, but this phenomenon today is driven by minorities not whites. Furthermore, the phenomenon is grounded in a post-60s minority liberation ideology, not a pre-60s minority suppression ideology. Ask any mulatto who has put greater pressure on them to identify solely with one side, and nearly all mulattoes will tell you that blacks place far greater pressure on them to identify as solely as black.

      If you don’t think that Amy’s card raises a legitimate point, here’s a more recent card that supports her argument:

      Biracial. Never wanted to be white

      Growing up I feel like I only belong to my Sri Lankan culture and heritage because I dismiss the white part of myself. I am half Sri Lankan and half white, but I look tan. I wish I was darker. Some say I look white, but when I look at myself I can see I am not. When I look at my personality I know I am not white.

  • olblue9

    Great card and replies.

  • Johnny Vineyard

    Maybe she can “pass”, but that doesn’t mean that she will choose to abandon you, like Obama abandoned his mother. I don’t care where my mother was from, I’d never pretend she didn’t exist.

    Have faith in your daughter and your ability to raise a beautiful human. I am sure you’ll do a great job and never have to worry about this.

  • Walrus Man

    I honestly don’t see the need to hate Obama for his perferred racial description. It’s not as if he is renouncing his relationship to his mother. He is a man of African descent that was born in america. I would consider myself african maerican in the same situation.

  • slash345

    Maybe you shouldn’t have had mixed children then.

    Problem solved. lmao

 

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