Lost in the buildings reflective surface

Natalie Rossi
Canton, MA

I am 50% Irish, 50% Italian, and 100% Chinese. I am adopted, I live with a white American family. I am Asian and when we went to Flushing NY and I looked at the building beside me and saw all the Asians, I could not find myself. there was a sea of faces and it terrified me that I couldn’t find myself.

Keep the conversation going - comment and discuss with your thoughts

  • Erica

    woah, this is deep.

  • Vanessa

    I feel pity for all mixed children. I’m sorry.

    • brynn

      Don’t pity us. That isn’t helpful. Give our cultural experiences value and don’t discount us because of our outward appearance. The last thing anyone who is biracial or multiracial needs is pity.

      • Vanessa

        You’re torn between 2 different ethnicities and cultures. You’ll probably end up losing part of your culture. People will discriminate on both sides unless your luck enough to look like one or the other. I’m not discounting them and it’s not just the appearance I pity, not really the appearance, but what comes with it.

        • brynn

          But working to aware of the issues is so much more helpful than pity. I may lose parts of my culture, but I have been doing so much to try and retain and learn as much as possible about them.

          To just have someone feel bad for me feels like its discounting all of the work I have done with the idea that my work is futile. I don’t believe this is your intent, but that is the impact.

          • Vanessa

            I’m not trying to discount anything you have worked for, sorry for coming across that way. I just think you and all other like you would have had a much easier time if you weren’t mixed.
            I don’t think enough people think of the consequences when they do have mixed children. I’m not saying people shouldn’t if they do fall in love, but many I know seem to do so without marriage and without much thought. I would still only want to have children of my own race, and would probably adopt if I fell in love with a person of another race. Although I won’t have to worry about that as I have my own son.
            I may be very biased on this because of a personal experience with a mixed family member. My white cousin had a child with a black man, and that child’s situation is pitiable. Our family has members that accept David, but he is not favorably received by everyone. The little cousins his own age shy away from him. The people on the street glare at David and his mother. His father barely wants anything to do with him. When he does come with friends you can often hear them saying horrible things about a child. I dislike even thinking about what school is like for him. He’s withdrawn compared to the other children, I can only imagine what impact his situation has had on his mind.
            Compared to David my son is blessed. Everyone in the family fully accepts him as does his father’s family. I will not ever have to worry about him finding accepting people like him. I feel furious that my cousin carelessly brought life into such a situation, with a man she didn’t love, and she won’t even be the one suffering for if because she just doesn’t care that much. It’s her child that will have to suffer. I know others in the same situation, and while I don’t see as closely into their lives as David’s, I see enough to know they’re hurt as well. Maybe it’s better for some with stable families in certain areas, but I imagine it would still be hard for them.

          • brynn

            Thank you so much for sharing you story, Vanessa. David will be in my thoughts. :] I think in general that it’s best for those who have children to have stable families anyway.

            I have never heard of an experience like David’s and I feel blessed that my experience has not been this extreme. It is a reality for some children and adults. More stories like his need to come to light so that multi- and biracial people are culturally validated. Again, thank you for this story.

          • legitimatedebate

            This experience reminds me of the experiences of a lot of LGBTQ people. Those who were some of the first to live openly as queer or trans had a much more difficult time than those who are coming out today (not that it’s easy today, of course!). And over time, as more people are out, it will become easier.

            If more people were in interracial relationships and more children were born mixed, they wouldn’t be as “different” or “weird.” People would just accept the experiences of mixed-race people as another type of experience, no better or worse than unmixed experiences.

            Personally, I love being mixed. I think I have a more nuanced perspective on race and cultural differences than a lot of people do.

 

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