Leah Lee (now Leah Durst-Lee), Chicago, IL. Keeping cultural heritage is very important to me, so when I married my husband, Sihyun Lee, I wanted our kids to have a Korean surname. Our first year and a half of marriage, I took my husband’s name and became ‘Leah Lee.’ It was awful! Almost everyone I […]
Heidy Avila Murillo, Baltimore, MD. My marriage is biracial, I am Hispanic and my husband is a Caucasian born in Maryland. This year after obtaining my US citizenship, my husband and I decided to have three days vacations in Canada. We visited Niagara Falls, Toronto city, and since I love Diego Rivera’s artwork, we decided […]
Javiera, San Diego, CA. My husband often jokes that I’m not “brown” because my light skin makes me look like an average white person. But growing up in rural Missouri, I never felt like a “white” person because I was teased for my hispanic features. I’m not mixed race and was born in a Latinx […]
Vasvi Babu, Scottsdale, AZ. Romindian: 50% East Indian, 50% Romanian. Married 21 years at a time when few Indian women married outside their own. Boys know who they are because my husband and I know who we are and what we stand for.
Daisy Reyes, Rialto, CA. Even as a little girl in Mexico I was the “Chinita” (little Chinese). When I came to the U.S., I was either confused with Filipino or just Asian when people couldn’t figure out which race. My now husband, has been confused with a Hindu. We are both Mexican-born. But the thing […]
Ahtum, San Antonio, TX. I often get asked what are you but when I had a baby with red hair, the question became how did you get a baby with red hair. I always start off with, “well, my mom IS white” then lead into “but my husbands grandmother had red hair” I often want […]
Anonymous, Chesapeake, VA.
Annabel Knight, Austin, TX. We were talking about SS Disability, and he said “No, it’s not hard at all to get on disability–all you have to do is be a fat Mexican.” So wrong, I just couldn’t be silent. My husband backed me up, most of the rest of the table squirmed uncomfortably. Why is […]
Lani Broederlow, Salt Lake City, UT. I am Polynesian. I have been told that my appearance does not reflect my last name. It is of Dutch descent and the funny thing is, it’s not even my last name; it’s my husband’s. It’s strange how we tend to sort each other into categories and labels. I […]
Dominic, Minneapolis, MN. As the saying goes, if I have a quarter for every time… In my case, if I had a quarter for every time an adult said to me, “I’m sorry, I just have to ask–your daughter–what is she?” I know what response each of these inquisitions intends. With quizzical eyes trained on […]
Ferguson Police Officer Wife, O’Fallon, MO. Just because he is a white police officer, doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. He grew up in this community and has just as much of a right to work here as anyone else. I should not have to worry myself sick if he will come home every night. […]
Erin Morris, Tempe, AZ. My husband and I have two sons adopted from S. Korea. When people feel compelled to mention our race difference or the obvious fact that our children are adopted, it is often along the lines of what “good people” we are, or how “lucky” our children are to have been adopted […]
Cara, UT. I have been having debates with my husband for a long time. We have spoken about how there is trained racism and acknowledge white privilege to a point. There are still one points that do not make total sense to us but we are tired. We have best friends who are of other […]
Tiffany Yizar, Norwalk, CT. My blackness and black cultural authenticity is never questioned, until people discover I have a white husband. As if his race diminishes mine and the life experience I’ve had in the years prior to meeting him. In fact, I’d argue being a black woman married to a white man, a union […]
Victoria True, Bethesda, MD. 15 years of my Miscegenated marriage have come and gone. I married a man who is beyond color blind. Case in point, I came by his place 1 month before we were getting married, and joked there are xxx,xx1 inter-racial couples in the US, and on June 12th there will be […]
Kelly C, Los Angeles, CA. My husband is Japanese and I look “white” though I don’t really know what I “am” because my father was adopted. Our kids are wonderful, beautiful, happy pre-teens. Growing up in a diverse and inclusive place, they have friends from a variety of ethnicities, religions, and social classes. But in […]
Brad Crump, Floral Park, NY. As a Presbyterian Pastor I serve a diverse congregation (Guyanese, Jamaican, Black, White). As a teacher I work for a Middle School in Springfield Gardens (97% non white). While I spend every day serving the diverse cornucopia of NYC I am seen by many as the problem, the privilege, the […]
Anonymous, IA. My mother had left the hospital to go home for a while, take a long hot shower,get fresh clothes for us both,and other little errands. Since I was a toddler of 3 or 4 years old I couldn’t be left alone in the hospital Pediatric Intensive Care ward,so my mother left my father […]
Amy Spencer, Kalona, IA. On Location: Drake University Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think, ‘Dang, you’re pale.’ But inside, I’m mixed, because my husband and kids are a huge part of me.
Stephanie, Marblehead, MA. My husband is of Italian decent and has dark features, such as brown eyes, black hair, olive skin. I am 100% Irish with light features: light brown hair, blue eyes and pale skin. Our oldest daughter shares the same dark features as my husband. Once while picking up a few thing at […]
Annie, IN. We just got married about 3 months ago. I am Hmong, and he is white. During some sweet talk, the subject of my surname came up. My husband said, “It’s not [your last name] anymore,” with a smirk. I cried. It was the kind of tears that just came, the kind you cry […]
Nedra Rutherford, Bridgeport, CT. People often think that I am not smart, my children have different fathers and last names. My husband is the father of them all.
Lisa Lendved, Winter Park, FL.
Moyo Myers, Washington, DC. In that split second when someone (of any race or ethnic origin) sees me (White) standing with my husband (African-American), they decide so much about the quality, depth, and reasons for our relationship. And that shows, in the expression on their face and in the way that they interact with us.
M. Peek Fitzgerald, Harrisburg, PA. In my 53 years of life I feel that I must carry something like this every time I leave my home. This is not the America I fought for. Not the America that I have to explain differences to my children. I’m an American too and I feel like a […]
Kristin New York City, NY The Bronx
Beverly Goetzman Nashville, TN I am black and my husband is white, which requires us to be fearless as we live out our chosen path.
Monecia R. Thomas East Bend, NC
Maren Robinson Chicago, IL I watched how my American-born half-Iranian husband went from being perceived as white (Iranians are Caucasian) to being perceived as vaguely “middle eastern” (eliciting double takes on trains and extra searches at airports) after September 11th. He is an actor, so I have also watched him play characters who are Caucasian, […]
Katrina Nye San Jose, CA I am full Asian and my husband is a quarter Japanese. Once our son was born I asked my husband which one of us will have the responsibility to give him “the talk” about dealing with racism. My husband replied that it had to be me, because even though he […]
Kristle Elise Siggson Fullerton, CA This was my husband’s response when an elderly gentleman was asking him how his chihuahua was doing after moving to a new city. It was eye opening for me to realize that after moving from a highly diverse area in greater Los Angeles where race was not as much part […]
Truman Burbank Saint Paul, MN You can never understand. Unless you have lived it for yourself, and lived through the pain- you will never understand. Rage. Hopelessness. Despair. Determination. Marginalization. Retaliation.
KB Louisville, KY I can’t count how many times I have been through airport security, worldwide, including dozens of times with my husband. I’m a white “girl next door” type. My husband is harder to peg (he has been “read” as Chinese, Okinawan, Thai, Indian, Arab and more, although he is from Mexico). Whenever we […]
Anonymous Southington, CT
L. Williams NH When I complained people laughed. No parental correction. My husband and children are black. I vow to no longer be exposed to this hate.
Jessica Womack Submitted via: NPR’s Talk of the Nation As a white American woman with an African American husband and a mixed race ten month old son, I witness daily the effects racism on my husband, on myself, and I worry about how I will be able to protect my son from it as he […]