Jamie Haines, Franklin, VA. As an inter-racial lesbian couple in Virginia, we have to plan carefully. Will that small diner be safe? Can we vacation safely in that city, country? Can we hold hands? Will we have to take Mr. Confederate Flag stalker back to court? Every single time one of us walks out the […]
Danny Zapler, Mount Prospect, IL. In hindsight, it is clear she is black. I knew about black and white people, but I just never saw her in racial terms. She was just the girl I liked in 6th grade. I only realized I was dating a black girl when a teenage boy on my block […]
Ellie Myers, Saint Louis, MO. I was born and raised in Saint Louis, Missouri where the tension around race politics is palpable. Race never played a big role in my life, because it never had to. That is, until I started dating black men. I remember friends in high school joking about me going to, […]
Deborah Robinson, Los Angeles, CA. I grew up in profoundly white Eugene, Oregon, where I’d laugh at banners emblazoned, CELEBRATE DIVERSITY. “What, as long as it’s not here?” I’d wonder. Yet the whiteness of my hometown did not mean it was a racially hostile one. I nurtured no ill will for folks from different walks […]
Paula Morris, Long Beach, CA. A white girl growing up in Orange County, CA, where I was that anything and anyone “different” was “bad”, I have found love with two wonderful men in my life: the first one (who died) was African American, and the second one is African. The happiness both have brought me […]
Dana Judkins, Shreveport, LA. I get this a lot when people find out I have a black boyfriend.
Katie Bowles Linfield, PA I grew up in a conservative white Catholic/Christian family that tends to be very narrow-minded, especially in the older generations. I never thought whom I went to my senior prom with was such a huge deal, that was until my family found out my date was black. My mom wasn’t outwardly […]
Michael K. Wallace, Johnson City, TN. This was the opening question to the most consistent family conversation I had during my freshmen year of highschool. It was said as a question, although it was a statement. Yes, I am dating a black girl. Thank you for the reminder. Would you care to know who she […]
Zoe Zeerip, Rockford, MI. The elders in my family still believe race defines relationship.
Erika, USA. I am a white woman that is dating a black man. I tried to think racism didn’t exist anymore until I started dating my boyfriend. The stares we’ve gotten from white people while in public, the comments we’ve gotten from older white folks, and even the responses of friends have made me realize […]
Kristen Wonsik, Virginia Beach, VA.
Robert, Singapore. …of being white.
Jazelle, San Francisco, CA. It seems like with Latin American mothers, who comes from 1st generation parents, morph this idea that being with a white American male will bring me happiness. Traditional Mexican families that live in the US don’t evolve into the new generations, they stick to what they know; their culture and ancestral […]
Caitlin Wong, USA. I am a White American woman who relatively recently started seeing a Chinese man. He was born and raised in American, but he is not biracial. It’s a fairytale romance – I am in love and I couldn’t be happier. At first it surprised me that we got stares, especially in New […]
McKaela Evertsen, Murray, UT.
Juliane Le, San Jose, CA.
Jenny Henderson, Austin, TX.
Jennifer Jin, Chapel Hill, NC.
Gabby Mbeki, Boston, MA. In the fall of 1997, I started 6th grade at a day independent school in Connecticut. I grew up in a predominately West Indian neighborhood surrounded by faces like mine, but my father wanted me to have a more rigorous education. I entered the school being one of three students of […]
Liz Pryor, Northampton, MA. Smith College. My mother was white. So was her whole family. After my husband, who is white, proposed, my grandmother cornered my cousin and asked “Does he know about Elizabeth?” My cousin asked back, “Does he know what?” and my grandmother answered, “That she’s Black.”
Lj Johnson, Middletown, OH.
Jaden Miskowiec, Memphis, TN. I went to homecoming with my best friend, who happens to be black. One woman asked my mother if we were dating because she was concerned about our relationship. First time I experienced racial discrimination (though not the first time I had seen it).
Maranda, Colorado Springs, CO. My mother says she isn’t prejudice, yet she has negative comments towards me dating a white male. I am Native and Alaskan Native and African American.
Noelle Vitt, Norwichvt, VT. I was ostracized in 1964 for dating a black student. I remember this era with such pain.
Michael Ponsler, Brooklyn, NY. I’ve enjoyed an extremely diverse social life, dated & married interracially and on countless occasions have been the only white person within a crowd, community or family gathering. I have never been harassed, harmed or threatened by a person of another race. However, I have been rejected, assaulted and/or threatened several […]
Alexandra Gradwell, Pittsburgh, PA. I come from a mostly white town and have heard that many of my friends have heard this from their parents as they go off to college.
Cody Keller, Harrisburg, PA.
Anurag Roongta, India. In India, though a developing country, there are still communities that don’t allow marrying outside one’s race, including my own. And those who don’t hold these views personally, are afraid of saying it loud in society. I am not afraid of presenting my views, but my parents and their views weigh me […]
Leah Thomas Florissant, MO I grew up in Saint Louis, MO and I moved to a mainly white private school in the 5th grade. I was a “gifted student” according to my public school district and my parents struggled to give me a better education. As I got older, of dating age, I started to […]
Gianna Gonzalez Roland, OK ………………excuse me? I was talking to a guy I liked when he asked me if I was Native American. I told him that I’m actually Mexican, White, Italian, and Philippino but I could only get the first one out before he interrupted and said “oh you’re Mexican? That’s ok I’d still […]
Jade Watson New York, NY I don’t have anything against interracial dating, but I choose to date and want to marry a black man, because I want my babies- my family to be black. I love being black. I love what being black has meant to my life. I love being a part of a […]
Clinton Browning Fayetteville, GA
Ashley Gremler Ft. Meade, MD I’m White, well mostly. I am a quarter Vietnamese, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at me. I’m dating a Black man. I love him for who he is, not for the color of his skin. But I must admit, I love the way our hands look […]
Isabel “Scottie” Dalsimer Alexandria, VA It was a bright and sunny day in August 1963. I was 25 years old and just back from a two year assignment in West Africa. My household effects were arriving at my Washington apartment that afternoon, but I had time to go to the March on Washington beforehand. I […]
Justin Natick, MA We must remember that a proclamation of “preference” still hurts. I am a 17 yr. old African American boy. I am also a member of the lower-middle class. Lastly to make matters “worse” I am homosexual. In today’s society this draws me victim to most social stigmas that can be associated with […]
Robert Luke Chesapeake, VA
Rachel Kroontje Morris, MN In the past several months, I almost dated two very nice guys who happened to be African American. To my shock and disgust, I had a very close friend who I would have never thought in a million years to be even slightly racist tell me, “It’s disgusting that you are […]
Cassie Babcock Bowling Green, OH
Patricia Paquette Seattle, WA I grew up in Southern California where half of my classmates and neighbors were Mexican and so were my best friends and eventually, boyfriends. Even though my parents knew and liked these guys, they forbade me to date them or call them boyfriends. They gave no explanation — probably felt they […]
Kay Perrin, PhD Tampa, FL In 1983, we adopted a black 8-week old baby boy in Tampa, Florida. At the time, we had a biological boy, age 3 years. I would frequently take my older son to preschool and then run errands with my newly adopted black son. Twice, complete strangers would walk by me […]
Rachel Allocco Phoenix, AZ My boyfriend is Mexican and grew up in Southern Arizona near the Mexico border. His father, a successful doctor and US Army veteran, is from Mexico. His mother is from a predominately Latino neighborhood in Los Angeles. People assume that because he grew up immersed in his Mexican heritage, the future […]
Jacqueline Young Lexington, KY
Jacqueline Trudeau Brecksville, OH My boyfriend and I discuss our different backgrounds a lot. He’s Hindu, I’m Catholic. His parents came to America after he was born; you can trace part of my family back to the Mayflower. His parents still speak Tamil; mine occasionally break out their rusty college-level German.But despite all this discussion […]
Lynn Li, Hilo, HI. I feel a little sheltered living in Hawaii. I’m 100% Chinese and my significant other, Angel, is Afro- Latino. No one looks twice at us on the islands. Mixed race couples and children are everywhere. Plus, we pass as locals because of our looks. But we met in San Francisco and […]
Elvira Randall Lakeland, FL
Lisa Cardon Bridgewater, NJ
Deena Dickinson St. Helens, OR
Carolyn Fitzpatrick Sarasota, FL He picked me to dance in 8th grade, because he thought I was a good dancer. I was flattered and thrilled. Mother didn’t see it that way. She said: “you were the only white girl dancing with a colored boy.” She didn’t get it that we were just happy children having […]
Lori Wells San Diego, CA I grew up in a small Midwestern town. I had never been asked out by a black man. In fact I have known very few over the course of my life. A few months ago I met a black man on-line and he wanted to date. I thought, “Why not?” […]
Joel Lichtenwalter West Hollywood, CA It makes me question why, where, how I exclude some amazing guys from my dating radar.
Joan Harris Springfield, PA
Bill Geraci Blue Island, IL Six? Who needs six? I can do it in five. Ask if you’re interested. (FYI: Mom and I were white and this was (fortunately) a long time ago.)
Jeffery Ward Pittsburgh, PA WE are a mixed couple. They said our love would never last, but we just celebrated 14 years together. As a couple, we bridge the racial divide. We can’t change the rest of the world, but we have eliminated the racial divide in our own lives, and those around us. From […]
Karen Hill Washington, DC Those words were spoken by the first boy I ever had a crush on. I was 12 and had asked my best friend to find out if he liked me. She called him and while I listened in on the other line asked what he thought. He hesitated and then with […]
KT Holbrook-Yanit Eugene, OR What my white father asked because I dated young men of several ethnicities. I have to admit I was sad but relieved when he passed away the year before I married my non-white husband. Now I feel he would have grown up had he gotten the chance to meet his beautiful […]
Yvonne Hogan Phoenix , AZ I am white. When I started dating a black man, my parent’s sat me down and my mother was so upset, she asked me not to come into the neighborhood. She didn’t want the neighbors to know. She was afraid that she’d have to move. My father said,”I thought you […]