Don’t ask why families don’t match

Alicia Barnes, Starkville, MS. Shared race is not a qualifier of being a mother to a child. Some of us birth kids who don’t look like us, and it’s hurtful for people to question our status. When I saw people trying to figure out if a white mother with brown daughters had adopted them, I […]


With kids, people don’t separate us.

Steve Cox, Jackson, OH. Prior to having kids, people usually thought my wife (Chinese ethnic, Thai national) and I (white) were separate. If we went through a line at the store and we were both caring something, they would assume we were separate. Same thing would happen at airports and people would send us to […]


My kids are mixed. And me?

Amy Spencer, Kalona, IA. On Location: Drake University Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think, ‘Dang, you’re pale.’ But inside, I’m mixed, because my husband and kids are a huge part of me.


I saw a group of “undesirables.”

Danielle Giese, Cheverly, MD. This is what my white neighbor called a group of African American young men who were congregating outside of the a local grocery store. Apparently, one of them was showing off his new baby. I wondered if that will be how my sons will be described years from now. Will they […]


Who lives here? You or him?

Beth Brawley, Columbia, SC. My son is mixed race and when he was young a neighbor had a cousin over. They wanted to shoot a pellet rifle at cans. I told the neighbor and cousin they needed permission and I would supervise. The little boy who was visiting asked who lived at the house I […]


I’m African American; With No Kids.

Aniaka McCowan, Union City, CA. Everyone one always says “oh my god you have a kid” Just because I hold a child doesn’t mean I’m a young mother. A caucasian women asked me why I ruined my life having a bastard child you probably don’t even know the father. I simply said why do you […]


Two white dads. Three black kids.

Jack Montgomery, Washington, DC. My husband and I got married and adopted three beautiful children on the same day last summer. Happy times! I have learned more since these kids have arrived than I ever new possible. A same-sex parent family with trans racial kids draws a lot of attention both in the big city […]


Not white, but my kids are?

Rob Silva Oakland, CA First generation with Indo-Dutch/ El Salvadoran heritage. Family has seemingly always been the non-white in the group, especially when listening to the my parents’ stories of assimilation. So strange then when my son was bullied at his new school in Berkeley for being the white kid.


My mixed-race son looks All-American.

Emma Alvarez Gibson, San Pedro, CA. My husband’s heritage is Japanese/Portuguese/French. Mine is Mexican/Irish/Scottish. Neither of us fit in anywhere while growing up; both sides of each of our families considered us oddities at best. People never knew what to make of us. I was too white for the Mexican kids and too uptight about […]

My kids are “beige”, not white…

Linda Levittown, NY My three children are a mix of English/Irish and Puerto Rican and when you line them up in a row, you can see one mirrors me, the second mirors my husband and our third is a pretty even split down the middle and can “fit” either side of our mixed family. A […]


What color will your kid’s be?

J. Torres Kansas City, MO My father is from Puerto Rico, born and raised. My mother is Colombian. However, raised in Panama. They met in the 1950’s while my dad was in the U.S. Army. Us kids always called ourselves PanaRicans. Until my mother gave us her true background. I attended college in Michigan in […]

No new White friends since 2008.

Anonymous USA The internet really makes me dislike white people more than I ever have. It’s gotten worse since Obama became president. I dream of a day when black people of means decide to create our own communities/cities/states away from white people, but I know it won’t happen. And I’d rather my kids be gay […]

TV people don’t look like us

Ana Artigas Houston, TX I am the child of an Italian-American mother and Spanish (from Spain) father, and I was born in Mexico. I am married to an American man of Dutch and British ancestry, We have friends in mixed race marriages. All of us have children, and there are very few TV programs, none […]

Teaching my kids to see people.

Mike L. Atlanta, GA I grew up in Atlanta GA during the 60’s. While I loved my grandparents I couldn’t understand why they thought the ice cream truck vendor was such a “nasty”, “dirty” and “diseased” man! “Mr. Jones” (as he politely asked us to call him) always had a smile on his face and […]

Why my kids are the minority

Tara Jackson, MS They go to the highest scoring elementary school in the state of Mississippi which happens to be 98% African- American. My kids are white and they don’t care about skin color and because of their school probably never will, I hope.

But your kids won’t be white.

Elizabeth New York, NY This is what a family member said to me upon announcing my engagement to a black man. It was actually more ridiculous because it was framed as a question: “You know your kids won’t be white, right?” Wow, really? Doesn’t bother me but it clearly bothered her… My six words represent […]


With kids, I’m dad, alone….thug!

Marc A Quarles, Pacific Grove, CA. Pacific Grove, I’m African-American my wife is German we have two children a son 15 and a daughter 13. We live in a predominately white affluent area on the Monterey Peninsula in California. Every summer my wife and children go to Germany to visit her parents and other friends […]

Those kids will ruin your life.

Shelley Cadamy Munoz Tulsa, OK This was said to me by a very upstanding member of the Oklahoma City Community, just after he said a public prayer. Many years later, my kids have clearly done just the opposite of ruining my life. I can’t imagine my life without them.

How many kids do YOU have?

April Young Lafayette , CA A man asked my husband in the supermarket. He went on to say “They cost US lot…” And then I understood what he meant to convey and I replayed the brief interaction with a different lens…one of race. And knew YOU meant African-American and US meant Caucasian.

They’re black. Why do you care?

Sara Hofmann St. Petersburg, FL I used to work with kids in the foster care system, which required a lot of effort and hours. When new acquaintances asked me what I did for a living, I told them, and after a few more questions I would occasionally get this question or something like it. (I’m […]

My children can never be president.

Barbara Lewis Madison, AL It has been said that one thing that makes this country great is that any child can grow up to be president. This is not true for my daughters. Because of the “natural-born” clause in our constitution, my daughters, who were born in China but legally adopted into the US by […]

My asian kids aren’t like me.

Sheree King Johnson City, TN My kids, adopted from China, now ages 14 & 16 not only don’t look like me, but deal with issues I never had to deal with. Although they are very like me in religious beliefs, morals , and character, they look at the world through minority eyes, but have a […]

Kids sang about her Jewish nose.

Rebecca Gundzik Studio City, CA We left a small town in Central Oregon because my then middle-school age daughter was being subjected to severe incidents of anti-semitism. She was one of about 7-8 Jewish kids in a school of 1000. Swastikas were written on her notebook and papers during class, kids yelled “Heil Hitler!” when […]

Stop right there you little n******s!

Dale Jimison Henderson, TX This is what was said to me and my younger brother when we were kids all because we had approached a house that had a huge yard covered with leaves. We simply wanted to ask if we could rake the leaves for some money and the guys comes out of his […]

White mom, colorful kids, heart ripped.

Tanya Haney Middleton, WI I am a white mother and school employee; my kids are white, Asian and I have been a foster parent to an African-American child. I have been struggling and driven to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem of institutional racism, but I struggle daily. People look […]

Yes, they are my REAL kids

Paul David Binkley Delaware, OH My wife of twenty two years and I are interracially married, she black and myself white. Over our years together we have dealt with countless thoughtless comments and questions. Here is one such event recalled here to explain my six word story. A few years back, when our youngest still […]

How do I protect my kids?

Michele Kacmarcik Savin Wilmington, DE When I listened to the report on Wednesday I ached for my daughter… whose birth mother, my husbands first wife, was adopted from Korea. She was teased on the bus as a first grader, and told to go back where she came from… which was Wilmington Delaware! I never imagined […]

Heritage Day? I am a mutt.

Christina Vallem Ann Arbor, MI Understanding Race Project- University of Michigan When the elementary school holds a Heritage Day my kids would ask me “What are we?” At first I would say we are “mutts.” Kids love dogs and understood the answer. My best answer evolved into “Northern European mix.” An improvement over rattling off […]


My mixed kids have it differently

George Washington III. Submitted via Twitter:  @GWIII #theracecardproject George’s story was featured in NPR’s Morning Edition. Listen here, http://www.npr.org/2013/04/02/175292625/when-youre-mixed-race-just-one-box-is-not-enough

Fear and hate only bring sadness.

Lantien Chu Lander, WY I am Chinese and get profiled as Native American, followed in stores, refused for rentals. Kids have asked me if I wear a coolie hat or when I’m going home (to China). I’ve lived in my small Wyoming town for 30 years and my kids (Eurasian) were born here. I try […]

Parents’ interracial marriage seems selfish sometimes

Anonymous, Santa Cruz, CA I’m tired of my bi-racial experience being used as proof of progress… Sometimes I think my parents were selfish to have kids and then act like everything would be fine. There are still unequal power dynamics, still racism in their relationship, and they wonder why their kids are insecure and damaged. […]

Guilt is nothing. People are dying.

Anonymous MA I’m white and I know that the feelings of discomfort/guilt I get sometimes from thinking about race are really not serious problems. Discomfort is nothing compared to what has happened to Trayvon Martin and more kids like him.

Not my problem, now my kid’s

Courtney M Oklahoma City, OK I’m white. I was raised in a military family that traveled everywhere and was taught to love what makes us different. Then I had children with a man who isn’t white. Now, race has taken on a whole new meaning. Explaining race issues to them is painful…for so many reasons.