Child travelling: This IS my mom!

Molly Lai, Milford, NH. I was terrified of travelling as a child because I hated people asking if I was adopted. Or the more frightening question: Is this woman really your mother, you can tell me the truth? I am half Chinese (and looked more Chinese than English as a child) with a red-haired, blue-eyed, […]

Can’t take you home to momma.

Tammy Medell Gardner San Jose, CA I am white. The man with whom I fell in love in 1982 was black. We met in Fort Worth, Texas working at the same company. He grew up in Charlotte, North Carolina, while I was from northern Michigan. Our romance, so new and full of hope, soon faltered […]

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No, I am not the nanny.

Liliane Dizon, Tampa, FL. Each time I have been pregnant, people (mostly white women) have said the rudest things to me. Most recently, as my daughters were standing next to me, a woman said “You must be excited to finally have one of your own!” I asked her to clarify what she meant. She pointed […]

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Mullet. Dashiki. Mom White. Step-dad Black.

Paco Romane, San Francisco, CA. I grew up in an all white racist small town, with a hispanic nickname (paco), a white mom, and a black step-dad who’s last name was White. It taught me a lot including I believe there are two different kinds of white people: those become “black” around black people and […]

Damn Mom, You’re Right. I’m sorry.

David Pham Poughkeepsie, NY When I was young, my mom told me a macabre anecdote about the Vietnam War. She remembered that American soldiers would go through villages in search of Vietcong. As they went through, they would ask villagers in English if they were indeed Vietcong or not. Some villagers, though they did not […]

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Mom, why do they hate us?

Theresa Salomon, Parkland, FL. A few months ago, as my 7 year old son was about to seat next to a class mate, he was told that Blacks should stay on the other side. That sentence changed our lives. My son and I had many conversations about racisms, and throughout I was able to redirect, […]

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“Russia? Never been,” mom said, perplexed.

Eileen Spiegler, Fort Lauderdale, FL My parents were both first-generation American Jews — their parents moved to New York from Romania and Russia. Before I was born, they moved to South Florida, another “promised land” of sorts, in the hope of giving their children a better life. They were the first to move into a […]

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I (don’t) fit. Don’t look closely.

Emery Boyle-Scott, Milwaukee, WI. I want to belong in a group, and it’s nice to belong until someone looks closely. My whiteness is always sidelined when people learn about my lesbian moms. Don’t look closely and I have all the privilege. But, then it disappears and I’m not allowed, I’m questioned on everything. There’s no […]

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Indian dad, European mom, identified Latina.

Nisha Balaram, Oakland, CA. My dad would joke around, saying that my mom couldn’t help but fall in love with him when she first saw him. My mom was usually busy in the kitchen at the time, and would smile and roll her eyes in response to his comment; when the pungent scent of lentils […]

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I’m not going to pick one.

Sierra Moore, Springfield, IL. The picture is one of me as a baby. Since my early childhood until now I’ve been encouraged by people close to me as well as acquaintances to identify myself as one race. I’ve also heard people guess what my ethnic background is (which no one has fully guessed correctly). They […]

Why can’t you be beige, mommy?

Janai Leeb, Val Verde, CA. My 5 year old, bi-racial daughter is just discovering that her family may be a little different. I’m a black American and my husband is Austrian. From her perspective, I look like the odd man out in our four person family.

Scared that we are not enough

Tanya, Manakin Sabot, VA. My (adopted) son is biracial, his bio-father is unknown. I will never be able to connect him with his biological African American family. There is a void that I will never be able to fill for him . This breaks my heart as his mama.

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How can she be your mom

Laura Clarksville, MD Being Black we come in all shades. My mom is extremely fair-skin; my dad was very dark. I look like my dad. Blacks and whites do a double take when my mom and I are together and I call her mom.

You speak Spanish? But you’re white!

Adriana Pedroza Both of my parents were born and raised in Mexico. Looking at my family pictures, I’m the odd one out. As a child, I was blonde, and my eyes have always been on the lighter side. My skin is not dark. I don’t have my mom’s dark hair or my dad’s dark eyes […]

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Sorry, My Mom Don’t Like Blacks

Amber Roberson-Rowell Essex, MD That was my second incident of prejudice and what instilled in me that race–the color of my skin–was a problem. The first was during my first day of pre-school and being pushed off a tricycle by a little white boy and being told “You don’t belong here!” I was the ONLY […]

Mom, talk about your “black firsts.”

Janice Lowe New York City, NY My mother, Dr. Willa Lowe was one of the first black English teachers in several high schools in New Jersey, Washington, DC and Ohio. She was part of that first wave of school integration in which talented African American teachers were hired before African American students were admitted. She […]

I’m not their nanny, I’m Mom

Michele Ypsilanti, MI My darling boys are Chinese and Black but look more racially non-specific; even while I lived in northern CA, what people think of as some sort of center of tolerance, people constantly assumed that since I was Black I was their nanny. Even though they are older now, I still get surprised […]

Momee, why did you hit me?

Joseph Jackson, III Gulfport, MS I asked my grandmother that question after she hit my butt so hard I saw little blue stars. It was 1957, N.O. La. at the grand opening of what was then billed as the world’s largest supermarket. My crime? Being 6 years old and drinking from the whites only water […]

Mom placed newborn in front row

John Butterworth Boston, MA My mother has just graduated from nursing school in Boston and moved to Maryland in the mid ’50’s with my dad, who was in the Army at the time. Mom found a job at a nearby city hospital in the maternity ward. Mom placed a beautiful newborn in the front row […]

You can be prejudiced, not racist

Chanel Tate South Holland, IL This is something my African-American mom would say to me all the time when I was a kid and I called her out on saying something derogatory or stereotypical about other races. She’s dead now and it’s harder and harder for me to remember the sound of her voice, much […]

Por supuesto que soy su mamá

Sonia Kang Northridge, CA Are you their mom? As a biracial mom (Black/Latina) married to a Korean man with children who look more Asian than anything else, we are often looked at with curiosity. They look at them then at me. Is she the nanny? Who can she be? Whether at their Korean language immersion […]

“He’s not really yours, is he?”

Stacey Golden Portland, OR I am Euro-American and my husband is African American. When we decided to adopt children, we adopted children that had bio-parents that were the same race as us, thinking, at the time, that then our children would feel more comfortable in a family that would have been like their bio-family. That […]

White mom of bi-racial child forgotten.

Peggy Person Cleveland, TN I have always been so disappointed in “America”, for labeling bi-racial, or mixed race children as one race or the other. I am a white woman, who has had to listen to society brainwash my child into believing that he can be accepted as “anything but white”. I raised him to […]

Mother gave me a different world.

Mary Horton Richmond, VA I didn’t realize until shortly before her death how different the world my mother gave me was from the one she was raised in. My mother had Alzheimer’s, and in the last few years of her life, she reverted to some of the attitudes and behaviors she had learned while growing […]

I was born because of racism.

Chelsea Lowe Boston, MA In 1959, my mother was engaged to marry a man who wanted a black best man at their wedding. Even though my grandfather had made a point of drinking from “colored” fountains when the family drove south to Florida, this was–you could say–beyond the pale. “I can understand an old family […]

Not mom. Not dad. Just me.

Andrew Martin Sulla Mathews Dededo, Guam I sometimes think that people stereotype me based on my parents. I am used to being called both Filipino and white, but I don’t feel like either. I just want to be me, not a Filipino or a White, but Andrew.

Does my white mom hate me?

Michelle Martinez Tempe, AZ As a mixed child of divorced parents, a White mom and Mexican dad, I overheard a lot of racist talk in my mother’s family. Even though I never heard her say anything, she never disagreed, either. She sat quietly through it, not promoting it, yet not speaking against it. I often […]

Is that white woman your mother?

Katherine Howard Venice, CA A three year old shouted this at my daughter when I came to pick her up from a play area. The child said this with a tone and with a look that I was shocked to see from a child so young. I am used to and prepared for this from […]

White, but mom is Brown, relief.

Carmen Bunkers Velazquez Pomona, CA I have always loved being with my mom’s side of the family, the Velazquez family. I think they have always felt safe because I identify myself through my mom’s racial and ethnic identity, Mexican American, and so with them I feel that I can be who I really am. Knowing […]

Mom said look black is ugly

Giselle Henry Torrance, CA The first person who taught me that looking more like my African ancestors than my non-African ancestors made me ugly was my mother. She didn’t say it directly, but she said by telling me to pinch my nose so it wouldn’t be so wide. She said it by saying how “pretty” […]

“Mom, am I black?”

David Denver, CO Four words that chill my heart. We had adopted our biracial son when he was 15 months. Now, at four years old, he had come in from playing with his friends and asked Mom, “am I black”? Am I black?, as if there was something wrong with black. As if white was […]

White Mom, Black Son, barbershop revelations

Kathy Osborne Greensboro, NC Trans-racial adoption has given me new eyes regarding race. I am Caucasian, my son is multi-racial but appears black to the world. I have attempted to provide the “Black Barbershop” experience for him, thinking he would be getting this cultural exposure if he lived in a traditional family, raised by Black […]

White mom, colorful kids, heart ripped.

Tanya Haney Middleton, WI I am a white mother and school employee; my kids are white, Asian and I have been a foster parent to an African-American child. I have been struggling and driven to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem of institutional racism, but I struggle daily. People look […]

You REALLY don’t look like her!

Thais Machado Teixeira Brazil My mom is black. My dad is white. I am not fair skinned enough to be white or dark enough to be black. Still, people believe that I’m my father’s daughter, but when I show them my mom I have to explain she married a white man so they can believe […]

Yes, I really am her mom!

Erin Fatica Outside USA, Mexico I was bused (from a white neighborhood to a formerly all-black school) to integrate Milwaukee Public Schools in the 70s and 80s. I experienced Black History Month and MLK Day before they were mainstream. I never thought I would be raising the only “black” (biracial) girl in a Mexico City […]

Here come the white people….Family!

Robbie Wolfe Chester, VA My mom and us, her children, were noticeably “lighter” than the rest of my family, which were very brown to dark-skinned people. Yet, that’s how we were greeted on Sundays and family gatherings, in front of other family members, friends and invited guests. Running joke? As I got older, I secretly […]

Sure, but would you marry one?

Tom Bethesda, MD When my (white) mother worked at NAACP in the 60’s my Dad infamously questioned her sincerity. Mom died a decade ago. Dad spent last weekend walking precincts for Obama in NH. Hope and change indeed.

Are you adopted or something?

Brenna Angel Lexington, KY Question I was asked as a child by kids in my apartment building. My mom (white) and dad (Mexican) are divorced so the kids didn’t know why my mom would be raising a little brown-skinned girl.

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She’s not your mom, she’s white.

Sezin Koehler ‏ Submitted via Twitter: @SezinKoehler How many times I’ve heard this in my life. As a child very often when visiting the US (my dad is Sri Lankan). Occasionally still even now. I never get used to it. Sezin’s 6 word essay sparked a unique conversation on Twitter…take a look. She’s not your […]

What my southern mom taught me.

Donna Lovelady Indianapolis, IN Born in the south in 1924, mom was the granddaughter of a slave owner. She saw blacks pushed to the back of the bus, unjustly convicted and forced to hide from whites. It broke her heart. She made sure to teach me that color doesn’t make anyone better or worse. One […]