Tall, Dark, Handsome, Just not Black

john-galaxy-3-094John P. Moultrie,
Ormond Beach, FL.

It’s taken sometime to get to this point, but we are finally together. Sixteen years ago, we met and at that moment, I knew she was the one for me. But that was not the case for her. Years later, through heartache and divorce for both of us, we finally had our opportunity to become a couple. So after years of waiting, I finally asked her the question, “Why, did it take us so long?” She responded by saying without hesitation, “You were not an option!” The comment was immediately understood. Somehow, in my mind, I had forgot that we were just two people that had an immediate connection, but she had not. She was still shackled with the chains of her father’s view of the world. He was still stuck in an era of segregation and she was living a life of “what if”, and I was just waiting. Now, that we are together, its not without some additional heartache. Her father has basically disowned her. Her sisters only speak to her through text messages, and we are waiting for the world to change. Now, I realize, that it didn’t matter if I thought that I was Tall, Dark and Handsome, or that I had worked my way through graduate school to make a better life for myself. The only thing that really matters is that I’m not White. I’m proud to say “I’m an American without a hyphen.”

I tell my friends all the time that one of the most important phrases in American Culture is the phrases, “Among These.” Its a two word phrase that our Founding Fathers used. We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, and the are endowed with certain unalienable rights, and among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. So, I will take the time to say that it is my unalienable right to tell all racist and bigots to go to hell.
One night, when she had fallen asleep. I woke up thinking about what she might say to her family, and this is the poem I wrote:

Mama, you always said
Let him be
Tall, Dark and Handsome
and in Love with me
Well, Mama, I found that someone
that you said would come along
He’s Tall, Dark and Handsome
and he lives cross town
Mama, I know you might say
that he is not the man for me,
but he’s the man I wished for
and the man you said he would be
Mama, I hope you understand
because Mama, I love this man
Mama, He’s Tall, Dark and Handsome
Mama, He’s a Black man

Keep the conversation going - comment and discuss with your thoughts

  • ked44

    Time is your greatest ally. The strong, nourishing relationship that you two have is your armor, and your beacon – for all to see! Give others time, contrary to your wife – your nieces and nephews will have “options”. I hope that your father in law softens (once again, only time and seeing his daughter happy and flourishing will allow that). If not, his negativity will depart with him…and each family member will have to take responsibility for their own values.
    Wishing you well…!

  • Bree Peters

    Uncle Tom!

 

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