I grew up in public housing where it seemed like I was the lightest kid around. From an early age I knew that blacks had a color complex amongst themselves. Ideal beauty for a male ment being dark, female light. The further down you went in opposition to that ideal was undesirable. In the end light skinned men and dark women share a negative space. It bothered me and at times it hurt, when the one group I was supposed to belong to treated me like an outcast. Then I got older and stopped caring and starting living for myself.