Who will love this black girl?

10459109_10101674801950279_3464419202044908446_nGabby Mbeki,
Boston, MA.

In the fall of 1997, I started 6th grade at a day independent school in Connecticut. I grew up in a predominately West Indian neighborhood surrounded by faces like mine, but my father wanted me to have a more rigorous education. I entered the school being one of three students of color in my class and it was a shock for me. It was not as though I never been around white people, but I never been surrounded as much as I had been when I started at this school. I spent seven years at the school. I grew up and became a woman at this school. I also fell in “love” at this school. Because there were no men that looked like me I found love in the white male and since then I have always been attracted to white males. I have been ridiculed for such preference and felt guilt that I am attracted to such and at times feel as though I am offending my black race. However, I also feel as though white men do not take me as seriously either. They date me because they are curious. They want to know if dating a black girl feels different. If making love to her feels the same…and at the end of the day. I always feel prodded and used. I have grown not to trust love and wonder how much of race has to do with it. I sometimes feel trapped and feel as though I will forever to be alone.

Keep the conversation going - comment and discuss with your thoughts

  • Ritzy101

    A smart, beautiful girl like you? Don’t worry, you’ll find a good guy, whatever color he may be. If I might offer some advice, it would be what my dad always told me: “The way to get a man is to chase him till he catches you.” 🙂

  • Lauren Jones

    I feel for you pretty lady. Being a Black woman myself, I realize that us women don’t get much love from anybody. Not even our own men. We live in a White society, in where most men (of all races) bow down to the White Standard of beauty plus men stereotypically label us as loud, ignorant, arrogant, violent, aggressive little heathens who are up to no good and are only out for their money (rolling my eyes). What’s crazy is that they believe these stereotypes depending on the neighborhood they were brought up in or if they are couch potatoes, watching media represent us in a bad light ALL THE TIME. IT MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGS– NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT!!! But don’t get me wrong– there could be Mr. Right for you out there– but you must explore all avenues. Not just Blacks and Whites, not just America. It might be a long road– but don’t give up on love. As cliche as it sounds: True love will love who you are inside and out.

  • Texan4Peace

    We will! <3

  • Brandi

    Men do that to women no matter what race you are. You just have to learn how to spot it when they’re doing it and don’t let ’em snake ya, the tricky creatures that they are.

  • lilmishmish

    As a mixed race woman who appears more black, I have experienced the same as you. It is hard to tell if someone is using you to fulfill an interest or truly cares about you. Keep your head up and just know that you are special and deserve the best, no matter what race!

 

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