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Left Crying in the Bathroom Floor

Charlie,
USA.

I brought my car in for an oil change (in the predominantly black area I live in) and they told me that it’d be an hour before they could get to it. ‘No big deal,’ I though, ‘There’s a shopping center across the street.’ As I made my way down the sidewalk, a man cat-called as he drove past. I didn’t think much of it as I crossed the street and headed towards Big Lots. However, he had turned around and was now pulling into the parking lot.

“Hey,” He said, getting out of his vehicle. “I don’t wanna come on too strong, but you’re really beautiful.” At this point, I was flattered. I had recently had my daughter, and was feeling uncomfortable in my own skin due to the weight gain.
“Thanks for saying so, but I’m married,” I replied.

“He’s a lucky man. Are you happy?” He asked, following me up the parking lot. His remarks began to get invasive and personal, making me extremely uncomfortable. I gave him a more stern ‘No’, and he had seemingly gotten the message. He hung back and didn’t follow me as I walked into the store.

Less than five minutes after I entered the store, he came in. I told myself that I was being paranoid, that he was probably planning to come in regardless. Not really wanting to face him again, I made my way to the back aisles and tried to focus on shopping. He soon found his way to the opposite end of my aisle, basket empty. I tried to pretend that I hadn’t seen him, and went to the furniture section. Yet again, he had somehow ended up within 10 feet of me. Even though it could have still been an uncomfortable coincidence, I decided to just purchase the phone charger in my basket and head to a different store. As I was handing the cashier my card, he came up to the register next to mine, only a pack of gum in his hand.

There was a grocery store attached to the Big Lots, so I made a bee-line for it. He entered the store soon after I did, and I was beginning to have a hard time believing he wasn’t following me. Despite my obvious attempts to lose him, he managed to be in or near every aisle I was in. I was beginning to get frightened, so I went to the women’s bathroom at the front of the store. A female employee saw the look on my face and asked worriedly, “What’s wrong?” I explained the situation to her and she asked for his description so they could call the police.
The moment I mentioned his skin color, her eyes dulled. Suddenly, her responses to me were short and a bit annoyed, as if I was wasting her time. She told me to wait and she would see about getting her manager, so I did. I sat in that bathroom for thirty minutes before I realized that no one was coming. From a different perspective, I understand that I might have looked like a racist white woman (who is in reality half Mexican) wanting to cry wolf about a POC harassing me. At that moment though, I didn’t care how I looked. I sat in the floor and cried, terrified of the possibility that the man was still in the store. Sad that the employee (who was also black) saw me as a racist, not a frightened woman who genuinely needed her help. Angry with her for leaving me alone while he might have still been out there.
Thankfully, the store manager (who was also black) happened to walk in on my sobbing. After explaining to her what happened, she informed me that no one had mentioned the incident to her at all. She called the police herself and sat with me at the café area until they had arrived. Luckily, he left, but the manager didn’t leave my side until the police officer confirmed it. As mortified as I was at the situation and the employee’s inaction, I’m forever grateful to the manager who saw the problem and not my race, and helped resolve the situation.

Family contrast black white shows beauty

P8022086Sherry Weaver,
Woodstock, GA.

Our family is a beautiful rainbow. We are pink with brown spots and brown with pink spots.

We are just a family. I didn’t “rescue” anyone-we gave each other gifts. I was given the incredible gift of love and diversity, and they got a family who loves them and can appreciate them. Just like all families, each individual brings something different to the whole. My first son is empathetic, my second son is a great athlete and my daughter is beautiful and caring.

It’s not about surviving being black, It is about realizing how wonderful it is to be of African heritage and how wonderful it is to be of Scottish heritage. I tell my daughter how beautiful she is while I put on my makeup and tell her how lucky she is to have such gorgeous mahogany skin.

She understands this is just one of the the many joys of being black. Anyone who can’t see that is just not looking.

And no disrespect Chris Rock- She does have “Good Hair”. It is as beautiful as the rest of her.

You’re too pretty to be black.

668Brandi N. Scarlett,
Lansing, MI.

When people ask me what ethnicity I am, I get excited. I am so proud to be mixed race. My mother is white and First Nations, and my father is Jamaican. However, I always make sure to tell people no matter WHAT I am, I identify as being black. I interact with the world as a young black woman. That is how society treats me and I am not ashamed to embrace that.

A black girl’s dilemma in America

Selena JP,
Empowering Youth Towards Excellence (EYTE) Program,
Elizabeth, NJ

There is a great irony regarding my 6 words story- from both society and ourselves. As black women in America, in particular, we are held at a higher standard but we’re constantly at the bottom of the barrel. We are the ones who are blatantly overlooked, but they (society and fellow black men) have the audacity to say “suck it up, buttercup”. The nerve America has- the nerve our own kind has. The story of a black girl’s dilemma in America could be shared universally, let’s be honest. Black girls never get the prop they deserve from their style, their attitude, nor their drive. It’s like everyone wants to be us but they’ll never truly love us.

We are told from a young age to cover ourselves because our curves attract vultures. We are told we’re too black to be beautiful. Or the common backhanded compliments we received growing up, “You’re really pretty for a black girl”. We try to grow our hair out in its kinky, coily state- it’s perceived as “unprofessional, messy, ghetto, untamed”. We finally manage to break our backs to change who we are and we’re told to stop “acting white”. And my personal favorite: when we enunciate our words, or speak fluently with eloquent words, we’re told that we “speak white”. You see, the dilemma of being a black girl in America, even the world, is clearly apparent.

So, ask yourself this: why is being a black girl so difficult?

Dating: I’m too dark for him?!

Anonymous,
Northampton, MA.

He’s a white European, and has never considered black women to be attractive, apparently until he met me and we got to know each other. Since he is curious about interracial relationships, he’s often on youtube watching videos on black and white couples/babies/marriages. Yesterday, he proudly told me that he watched an interracial couple where the woman described herself as a caramel. He then casually added that he would have preferred it if I was caramel, not 60% chocolate or whatever it is I am. I replied that I’m in fact 80% dark chocolate. I was horribly upset at his ignorance, although I have since forgiven him for the comment he made and explained why what he said was hurtful to me.

Mom said brown girls are ugly.

Anna,
Santa Maria, CA.

I am a 47 year old Filipina. I remember being constantly compared to my lighter skinned cousins and feeling awkward to be among my own family. If I could, I would travel back in time and give my 3 year old self a tight hug and tell her how important it is to love herself and to never believe any of the b.s. her mother tells her ever again.

Mom said brown girls are ugly.

Anna,
Santa Maria, CA.

I am a 47 year old Filipina. I remember being constantly compared to my lighter skinned cousins and feeling awkward to be among my own family. If I could, I would travel back in time and give my 3 year old self a tight hug and tell her how important it is to love herself and to never believe any of the b.s. her mother tells her ever again.

Enough to make you look pretty

333695_10150352026055540_2251121_oAdrienne Zimiga,
Minneapolis, MN.

I was born and raised on the Pine Ridge reservation my first 12 years. Upon moving from Batesland, SD to Castlewood, SD my caucasian grandmother was concerned that my brothers, sister, and I could face social problems being part Native American (iyeska: mixed blood/race) in an all white community. She told us “Now you don’t have to go around telling everyone here that you’re Indians. Besides your just enough to make you look pretty.” It was a very confusing statement for me as an adolescent. I came from a place where I was very proud to be who I was as a person and now I have my own grandmother telling me it may be best to keep it under wraps that “Indian” part of me. Anyone who knows me knows THAT will never happen. I’m very proud of my ancestry, my culture, my heritage, and my connection to it. It is the driving force that has made me the person I am today.

I worked hard to get here

Michael Toth
Columbus, OH

I get that yes in theory as a white male I have a head start in life, but I most certainly did not have it handed to me on a silver platter. I worked hard to get into college and am still working hard to make the massive student loan debt worth it when I get a good job. I would not even be in college if it was not for a small (and I mean less than close to covering 4 years of college) account left to me that covers the holes left by loans, grants and scholarships. I understand that concern for non-whites and non-males is important, hell I support it. But please don’t forget that just because a guy is white, that does not mean he does not need help or that he worked any less hard to get where he is.

White Baby Boomer Low Wage Slave.

Skyler Crane
Oceanside, CA

There is a small splash of African in my ancestry, never talked about, though obvious in physical traits of many of my relatives, Why I give my Race Card sentence is that born a baby boomer to low, very low, middle class WASP parents, i was not given or alerted to the financial & social aids of other races in America, not wealthy enough to be “in the know” of scholarships, grants, financial aids, I feel i represent a forgotten group of American youth who turned to the “Counter Culture Revolution” BECAUSE we could see no viable future, no clear, deliberate, “helping hand up” for us. I, as many, many, others of my age, ethnic, and financial means, have humbly, steadfastly, honestly, continued to be solid workers in the community, allowing so many to step up and succeed on our backs, and that we do this without regret at the forefront of our minds, our hearts. Regret, albeit kind regret, with respect and humility, comes now in older age when I hear of the strife of others who actually had a Race Card that was NEVER afforded to me. Thanks for the avenue to speak this truth.

No College Scholarships for White Males

Theresa Goldenberg
Melbourne Beach, FL

In Zora Neale Hurston essay “How it Feels to be Colored Me” she explains that she didn’t realize she was black until she moved to Jacksonville Florida and it was reflected in how people treated her. When my son started applying to colleges he quickly realized that most of the scholarships were not for white males. He made the comment “I didn’t realize I was white until I started applying to college.” I thought this was another side of this important issue that should be covered in the race card project.

You’re Too Pretty To Be Black

Akira Lee,
Virginia Beach, VA

I once had a woman approach me in a restaurant and tell me that I was really pretty. It was my 13th or 14th birthday, and I had dressed really nicely and was proud that someone noticed how beautiful I looked that day. I responded politely to her, and thanked her, upon which she asked me, “What are you?” I replied that I was Black, but she gave me this confused look and said, “But you’re too pretty to be Black. What else are you?” At the time, I didn’t understand that what she said to me was disrespectful and I ended up taking her hurtful words as a compliment. If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve known she said that to me was ignorance and would have simply walked away.

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