We just got married about 3 months ago. I am Hmong, and he is white. During some sweet talk, the subject of my surname came up. My husband said, “It’s not [your last name] anymore,” with a smirk. I cried. It was the kind of tears that just came, the kind you cry when there isn’t anything else. I don’t know how he could have been so cruel. He later claimed it was meant to be loving, but I had no words for that.