Ever since I was a child I’ve always felt conflicted. As a Chinese adoptee with a white father and a Cuban mother, I’ve never felt myself to be much of anything. It’s like I’ve existed in this weird blob in between races and neither my Asian side nor my culturally white side could fully be satisfied for one reason or another. I used to try to change myself to fit one or the other. In fact, there was a time when I felt the need to shut the door entirely on my Asian side because I felt that I had no connection to it whatsoever regardless of what I looked like or not. But the thing is, as I grew older I realized that I have the power to determine who I am. The social world that I live in may try and mold or squish me into a box. But ultimately, I can be perfectly content in my own little niche in between. Yes, I am not your typical Chinese girl. Yes, I am not your typical white girl. But most importantly, I’m not your typical Chinese adoptee because I make the rules and I know now that everything I am is what I am. Regardless if it is good or bad.