Traci Butler
USA
I’m a Caucasian mother of a beautiful, amazing little girl who happens to be of mixed heritage, because her father is from Africa. I have a difficult time when it comes to school forms or paperwork for doctor’s offices, because they don’t give you a box for “mixed ethnicity” or a space to write something else. The standard answer given to me by everyone is, “Honey, she’s Black/African American.” So I dutifully check the little box that only tells half of her story, and wonder why the genetics that she received from me don’t count. There is so much variety in our world, why do we still insist on limiting everyone to the “standard” six choices of (1) American Indian or Alaska Native, (2) Asian, (3) Black or African American, (4) Hispanic or Latino, (5) Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander, and (6) White?? Why not have alternate boxes for someone who is proud of their mixed heritage?
I also struggle with the looks and questions I receive when people see us somewhere – the store, the library, etc. – and they want to know if she’s “mine” or “what” her father is. You would never dream of asking a random stranger if the child they have with them is “theirs”, or who fathered the child, yet somehow people think it is okay to ask that question as long as the parent and the child don’t look the same.
I have also found myself in the position of being the only Caucasian person in a predominantly African American department. I’ve been called the “token white girl” for the department, I’ve had jokes made about me, and snide remarks about my race said behind my back and to my face. Racism isn’t just something that “white” people have. If you make assumptions or judgments about someone based on the color of their skin, you’re no better than the person who is judging you for the same reason.
I make a conscious decision to get to know someone based on their character and personality– not the pigment of their skin, the shape of their eyes, or the color of their hair– and while I get to know them, I enjoy learning about the differences in our heritage and upbringing. I’m raising my daughter to be the same way. I never want her to use race as an excuse for treating someone badly. I also never want her to use her own race as an excuse for not doing her best. The color of her skin is a beautiful part of who she is, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s just that – a color. The true person is who she is on the INSIDE – the way she thinks, feels, and expresses herself. We should learn to see each other for the potential we possess, and stop limiting ourselves to “boxes”.
