My child’s not your Learning Experience.

Beth Curren,
Bethesda, MD

We are a bi-racial family and have experienced the comments of others since the day we brought our child home from the hospital. Most comments and questions have been kind, or at least well-intentioned; many others have not: people have been rude, intrusive, scornful, misinformed and self-righteous. Often the hardest moments have been when other adults have insistently questioned us, in front of our child (and often in front of their own), and clearly want to know very personal information. When we’ve tried to deflect their comments, they often say they are just curious or their children are curious, or they are trying to teach their children to be inclusive. We get it; we really do. But standing in a check-out line is not an invitation for questions and comments, especially since the only reason we are being asked, is because the composition of our family is different from theirs. Sometimes we just want to get through the produce section or the cereal aisle without this unwanted attention. And so when people persisted, often self-righteously, in plying us with questions and comments, I learned to say, “My child’s not your Learning Experience.”


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