Angie Estrada,
Columbia, SC.
I have been struggling with my sister-in-law seemingly using me as her token Mexican-American “friend”. She parades me among her white friends and uses me a talking point when making casually racist comments. You know, the classic “…but my friend is *insert minority here*”. I cringe at the fact that I am not the only one she parades around. Her old coworker, who is multiracial, is also on her Facebook featured photos and is constantly mentioned when she make off-color comments about black people. My SIL casually uses the n-word! I just can’t stand the fakeness from both of us anymore. I feel like I am not being my true self by participating in her self-congratulatory behavior of having 2 friends that are of a different race. I am not just a prop! I know that I am more than my ethnic heritage.
After discussing this with my husband, we decided to take the less explosive route and simply distance ourselves from her. We know that white fragility exists and are not interested in exhausting our own selves when we are sure of what the outcome would be. I really would love to talk to her about it but I do not think she is the type of person who would truly listen. Either way, my husband does not have the best relationship with her to begin with and is happy that we are just sticking to major events (holidays, weddings, etc) to see her.
