People assume my daughter is adopted.

PeopleAssumeMyDaughterIsAdoptedRebecca Schwarzlose,
Roayl Oak, MI.

I am white and my husband is Indian. My daughter has my husband’s complexion. When we are together as a family people assume that she’s mixed but when I’m out with my daughter alone (which is most of the time) everyone assumes that she’s adopted. People ask me where she’s from or where I got her. She’s still too young to understand these questions but I wonder how she will feel about them when she’s older. I hope she won’t feel less related to me just because other people make that assumption. And I hope someday people will become accustomed to mixed-race families and stop making the assumption in the first place.

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2 Responses to "People assume my daughter is adopted."
  1. Patricia says:

    I am olive color (to even describe my skin color) my daughter is white (or fair skin) my husband is too. Most of the time other moms think I am the nanny, also minorities don’t understand why she was born white but when I tell them my husband is white they all assume it is because of that. In genetics my side needs to have a white ancestor for my daughter to be white!

    Always complement how beautiful skin your daughter has, and mention what she has like you. I am sure she does. It actually reminds me that my daughter was born not so white and her hair was little bit more medium brown and as past 6 months old she changed to be more fair and medium blond.

  2. jd in mi says:

    I grew up with this. My mother is AfroCuban, my father is Cuban with native/spanish descent. When all five of us are together, its obvious we’re all related, but as a kid when I was alone with mom, people assumed I was adopted. Or worse, that she was ‘taking care’ of me. Ignoring the comments is not the answer.

    I wish my mother and I would have had open conversations about our differences-that-aren’t-really-differences, but I’m sure she was trying to figure out how to cope with it herself. Sometimes biracial families can be a bubble of ‘beyond-skin color’ that isn’t reflective of the rest of the world–and your child has to *live* in that world.

    If this experience is frustrating for you as a parent, imagine how confusing it can be for your child, who doesn’t have a fully defined concept of race, social context, biases or prejudices. Talking about it is the best way to help them understand their experiences and put them in the proper context.

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