Questioning My Parents’ / Society’s Racial Preferences

me (5)Jordan Seigal,
Flushing, NY.

I’m Eurasian with a white father. At times I think, of course he was white.
I wonder why, exactly.
Why were Asian men not good enough? I look Asian.
I have been turned down and called terrible things by Asian women, because of my appearance.
Am I considered better because I am whiter? Am I considered an improvement? Am I still just inferior? Am I still just an Asian man, with the added benefit of knowing that my mother did not want one? Why did she take a white name? Why did she take pride in me looking white?

I don’t think I can ever get over this.


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