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I feel embarrassed to be white.

Jobi Schwartz,
Morristown, NJ

I’m embarrassed to be white in a country that refuses to acknowledge it’s horrible past of slavery, colonialism, forced segregation, refusal to allow black Americans to have the same opportunities as whites, and now literally trying to bury the past by banning books, and education of its history. Makes me ill frankly. The fact that Trump has just been re-elected says a lot about the people in this country. I think about these things constantly.

Being white is more than privilege.

Adela Ludeke,
Austin, TX.

I know that whites are traditionally “privileged”, but I find it so cringeworthy when I hear other whites checking their privilege. It’s as if they have so much guilt because of what their ancestors did. And it’s more embarrassing when your parents check their privileges. Sure, racism is shameful, but too much white guilt is self-destructive.

Don’t assume- alot you don’t know

Oliver Parr,
Tuscaloosa, AL.

Being white in the state of Alabama automatically means that most people assume the worst. I was raised in the State of California where race truly is not even a topic of discussion. I grew up not looking at the color of a persons skin but how tough it is. I want to surround myself with people that are going to make me a better person whether they are Asian, Indian, Black, or White. It hurts me that people assume the worst without getting to know someone. Looking at this wall It makes me upset that we have come so far as a country and yet race is still such a big problem. I understand that in my situation makes it easier for me in some situation but my parents raised me right.

Damn, did you see that White girl?

Lisa Jasinsk,
Trinity University

In 2007, I spent a year working at The Apollo Theater in Harlem, NY. One day on my way into the office, I slipped on an icy sidewalk on 125th Street, and in a comic prat fall, landed on my bottom in a filthy puddle. A group of guys gathered outside the corner grocery busted up laughing, “Damn, did you see that White girl?”

In the moment, I was embarrassed, self-conscious, and humbled. I wanted to hide and to be anywhere else. I think I just ignored the guys, picked myself up, and walked on. At the time, I remember feeling especially vulnerable when my race was called out, recognizing that being White was something I rarely thought about (in my entitled, privilege way).

In so many ways, that year working in Harlem taught me so much. A decade later, I continue to build on what I was only beginning to figure out as I found myself in the racial minority for the first time in my life. I began to see how the “colorblindness” rhetoric of my suburban upbringing masked lived experiences and disguised hard truths. I began to see the complex ways that structural segregation, microaggressions, exclusion, implicit bias, class, power, and overt discrimination had played out in my own life and the lives of others. And once I saw it, I could never unsee it.

I Hate Myself for Being White.

Rose Johnson,
Redwood City, CA.

I feel so dirty. I don’t know why. I feel racist even though I go out of my way to be kind to all the Mexican kids at my school, or the homeless African-American guy who camps near the 7-11 I go to after school, because I know they probably get shit on all the time just for having more melanin in their skin than I do. Ferguson hit me really hard, and I wish I could do something, but since I’m white, I feel like people will think I’m just trying to get attention, like, “Oh, look at me! I’m a nice white person! I’M not racist!” I feel like I was just born racist and prejudiced and bigoted because of my skin color. I just hate myself so much. And I know I sound all whiny and pathetic, but I’m really not trying to garner any sympathy. I’m just getting this off my chest.

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