black father Archives - The Race Card Project

I pass. What is my place?

August 13, 2020August 13, 2020 biracial, black father, black lives matter, CO, Denver, Jennifer Ward, mixed, pass, place, proliferated, skin color, what's my place, white mother

Jennifer Ward,
Denver, CO.

As discussions have proliferated in Denver and online about race, the Black Lives Matter movement, and how change should be implemented, one idea that has been reiterated is that white people’s place is to support, while black people’s place is to lead and direct. I understand that, but where does that leave me – the white-looking daughter of a white mother and black father, who has never directly faced discrimination based on skin color but has certainly felt the repercussions in her family life and beyond?

You can raise your daughter white

July 5, 2020July 5, 2020 African American, black father, blonde hair, blue eyes, daughter, Family, Minneapolis, MN, raise, white

Nicole
Minneapolis, MN

As a descendant of Germans and Scandinavians, I am termed WHITE. My daughter is is a strawberry blonde with creamy white skin and blue eyes. Again and again I have been asked how it was possible when her father is an African American. I have heard, “he can’t actually be her father” and people will pry into his family history and say, “oh, her father must be mixed”. Upon seeing an extended family picture, a co-worker said, “I didn’t know your daughter was … mulatto”. The most insulting and hurtful thing I have heard is when after my relationship with my daughter’s father ended, having a family member say to me, “Don’t worry, you can raise her white”.

I am uncomfortable with race. I do know a lot about white privilege, but honestly, I do feel some guilt about race in America. I love my daughter and I love her rich family history. I find her fair hair and blue eyes an amazing feat of genetics given both her father and I have brown eyes and hair. I am hurt and angry that my daughter is not allow to be seen for who she is: a wonderful and happy two-year-old.

Pride comes before the downfall, duh…

May 1, 2018September 21, 2020 American, Black, black father, brown, Courtney, downfall, love, MI, mixed, mixed children, pride, trait, white, Wyoming

Courtney,
Wyoming, MI.

All this pride to be black, white, brown, American, whatever, just let it go. You didn’t put any work to be the color you are, or the country you were born, it just happened. You can love who you are or where you are from, outside of being prideful. I’m not certain pride is ever a valuable trait but loving all people of all kinds and being able to agree to disagree will get you much farther than coming to the conclusion that you are better than the next person. We all fall short somewhere and if you can’t see that, it’s a good chance it’s your own pride that’s blinding you…..

The picture is of my beautiful mixed children, I am their black father