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Never keep secrets from your children.

I. Lulu,
San Antonio, TX.

I was 52 when I confirmed what I had long dodged: I was adopted — more like appropriated — at birth. Back then and in my part of the world (Texas), those things happened. My adoptive parents are on my birth certificate as the birth parents. Whatya gonna do, right? I have very little knowledge of where I came from — just gossip. My father died without telling me the truth, and my mother had Alzheimer’s pickling her brain when I found out so she couldn’t help me too much. Therefore I have no personal history. But I know that I belong to the great human race (there is only one race, you know) and that the people on this planet are related. That’s all that I can vouch for. Beyond that, I am hoping NatGeo and Family DNA give me a bit more information.

White skinned but not white brained

Karen Charlotte,
Montpelier, VA.

I’m a native Mid-Westerner who has lived in the South about 90% of my life. I try my best to learn about people as individuals not stereotypes and rid myself of any remaining prejudices lurking in my psyche. I hate it when I find myself in a room with only white faces and they assume I have the same prejudiced attitudes they hold. And if someone tells an ethnic joke (of any variety) I tell my favorite “ethnic” (fill in the blank) joke. “What’s black and blue and lies on the floor?” Answer? “The next person to tell an “ethnic” joke!”

Try so hard – still see color

Sherri,
Juneau, AK.

As hard as I try to see people as people, not black or white or Asian etc., I can’t seem to deprogram my brain. I remember the day I was helping at a school giving enrichment lessons to a group of advanced students. When they came into the room there was one black girl and I found myself thinking, “that’s a surprise”. I was horrified with myself. When I got home I called a friend who was married to a black man. I told her what had happened and she told me that even after all these years of being around her husband’s family, she still found herself thinking in terms of white and black. Neither of us felt good about it!

My brain, take it. It’s worthless.

Nancy Yuan
Philadelphia, PA

In most people’s eyes, I’m Chinese, and therefore, naturally talented in academics. If I score well on a test, it’s normal because I’m Chinese. If my score is bad, they celebrate because they bested the “smart kid”. For once, I want someone to say, “Wow, Nancy, you must have put a lot of effort in earning these grades!” instead of, “You’re Chinese? No wonder you’re so smart!” All this work, all these hard-earned grades, they mean nothing to me when it’s just put down to my being Chinese.

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