connection Archives - The Race Card Project

I forgot how to say that

June 1, 2026 CA, connection, first experience, Jocelyn Fernandez, Santa Rosa, Spanish, speak my language

Jocelyn Fernandez,
Santa Rosa, CA

When I was younger, I was able to speak fluent Spanish without trying to. I could communicate with my family without thinking twice and I felt closely connected to my culture. After growing up in America around many white people and barely any Spanish being spoken, I forgot how to say many things in Spanish. Now, having full conversations in my Native language can be difficult. Sometimes when my family speaks to me in Spanish I pause for a second trying to remember the correct word, but it just never comes to me. It feels so embarrassing, especially when my friends ask me about a word and I just say “I forgot how to say that”. Inside I truly feel frustrated with myself. Not just because I can’t remember a few simple words, but because I’m also losing a part of myself.

Love knows no color, just connection

November 9, 2023 connection, dating black man, Durham, interracial dating, love, NH, Sarah P, The University System of New Hampshire, white woman

Sarah P,
Durham, NH

p>As a white woman dating a black man, I have gotten questions before about making sure I would be okay with having black children eventually. When I get asked this question, I ignore it, but do think about what would make someone ask this. It never crossed my mind when I started dating him. We should not think about this but instead think about the connections I have with him and how he makes me feel, not his color.

One-drop rule, my a**

December 10, 2020December 10, 2020 Boston, connection, identify, MA, majority, Minority, Nobody's daughter, one drop rule

Nobody’s daughter,
Boston, MA.

It’s simple, really:

Anything over 50% is a majority.

Therefore, being 25% black (one black grandparent) does not equal “being black”.

I say this because I’m fed up of being told I’m crazy, or getting looks because I’m 25% black AND IDENTIFY AS WHITE.
Guess what? My kids are white; I’m not a different race from them. I gave birth to them, they share my genetics.
What’s sad is the fact that I’ve heard such ignorant things directed at us, such as: “that’s not her mother, she’s what you call an au pair” “oh, is he an albino black kid?” “She looks just like her brother!!” “Oh, you’re the mother? They must look like their father, then”

I will never identify as black, because I’m not culturally or even really racially black. And honestly, I don’t have any connection or desire to connect with blacks.

I grew up in an upper middle class white home and never thought I wasn’t mixed or culturally white/European, so…
I am who I am. If it’s becoming more accepted to be trans*, then it should be accepted that I’m a mixed white person.

Why do you sound so white?

October 20, 2016 but you sound, connection, ethnicity, High School, Ladaja Kennedy, Norfolk, Race, sound white, VA

Ladaja Kennedy,
Norfolk, VA.

Growing up, I went to a predominately white school with mostly white friends. Because of this I was usually not hanging around with people of my same race and ethnicity, thus not sounding like the others or having connection like everyone else did when it came to it. Then later when I went to high school, the population was a large shift for me and I often had to deal with the scrutiny of sound better than my peers or even being viewed as being viewed as stuck up compared to others in my class. The thing that also got me was that my white peers would even question and sometimes laugh why I spoke like them with a name such as mine but in my mind it just made me question who I was.

I wish I could fully understand.

July 17, 2016July 17, 2016 connection, France, Hilary E. Cooke, IN, understand, West Lafayette

Hilary E. Cooke
West Lafayette, IN

I was unsure how to answer “where I am” because I am currently on sabbatical in France, but I technically and a resident of West Lafayette, Indiana. Although I’ve been thinking about the race card project for a while, it is only here, on sabbatical, that I’ve finally had the space to distill my thoughts all the way down to six words. I’m glad you asked “where are you?” because I hadn’t made any connection between my experiences with race in America and living as an American in European culture. Of course there is a connection! I had been aware of race here, and had wondered about how race might be perceived differently but hadn’t thought about how those musings might be impacting my thoughts about race in America. Now, I will use some more of my sabbatical time to ponder more. Thanks!

Base your Judgment on the inside.

October 6, 2015 black friend, Colby Finch, connection, Eugene, first experience, Inside, judgement, OR

Colby Finch,
Eugene, OR.

Im Colby Finch, 16 yrs old. I grew up in foster care, and in the system, I met a lot of people who were colored. I made a connection with another youth. His name was Devonte, and my foster parents at the time were uneasy about people of color. I brought him back to my house to hang out, and when we walked in my foster parents glared as if he was dangerous. We hung out for about an hour, and then he had to go.

When he left, my foster parents looked at me, and asked ” You sure that *boy* didn’t steal anything?(*Censored) I was furious. I said “You don’t even know him!! Yet you judge him just by looking at his skin color!” They looked at me and my foster dad said “His type is known for that. He can’t come here anymore.” I walked out the house, went to Devontes house, and enjoyed myself. It’s sickening that a new person, whom you’ve never met, comes near you, and people make so many horrible accusations in their minds…all because of ones color.

Despite one difference, discover your connection.

January 13, 2014 Ali Hill, Chicago, connection, difference, discover, first impression, IL, judge, superficial

Ali Hill
Chicago, IL

People have always boasted the importance of a first impression, but I don’t understand why. The very first impression, in almost every case, is superficial. We see someone and judge them, we hear someone and judge them. Have a conversation. Discover all the ways you can relate to someone, despite how different they may seem.

Multiple Connection Intersection Context Coalition Unity

February 22, 2013February 22, 2013 Ann Arbor, connection, Kevoin Goodman, MI, multiple, multiracial, Race, United States, unity

Kevin Goodman
Ann Arbor, CA

In 6 words tried to describe my current place in my journey with race a as young queer ambiguously multiracial man in the United States who is working towards a better future.

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