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Stop asking to touch his hair

Jeanine Flier,
Tujunga, CA.

I am a mother of 3 multiracial children. They all have different types of hair. My oldest son has a very curly large beautiful Afro . My middle child as wavy thick hair similar to mine. My youngest child has large black curls. My oldest child is the ONLY ONE WHO WHITE PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY COME UP TO AND SSK IF THEY CAN TOUCH HIS HAIR. WHY?? It is racist and belittling and they don’t even realize they are doing it. Recently he starred in a production of the crucible. Even though there were two judges my child was the only judge that has to cover his hair with a wig. An example of white privilege these people never give a thought of how offensive their actions are. My child is not an animal to be petted, and his Afro is not something to be erased as you are trying to do with his identity.

My Hair Is Appealing to Me

Chantrice Thomas,
Gretna, LA

Being an American woman with brown skin, I have had my ups and downs with people their opinions about the texture and length of my hair. They have made very intimidating remarks about my hair. I can recall people saying, “Why is your hair so short. Does it not grow?” I have always been taking aback about comments like this as if something is wrong with a woman, especially one of predominately African traits, having short hair. I do not think that is something of value that should be constantly brought up in social settings. I often feel that hair should not define you, especially when I purposely choose to have my hair a certain way. It is for my comfort and pleasure. I also get comments that are subtle but offensive such as, “Do you plan on texturizing and loosening your curls”? I have been more shocked by this comment because I often hear it from people within the same culture as I grew up in, and it is quite appalling. My hair is beautiful and good for me. I can change it up if need be, but it is something that I should lead with. I know that these physical traits are by design and a natural part of life. I am not ashamed.

My African Curls, Scottish White Skin

William (Bill) Roderick Wilson,
United Kingdom

Where did I get my curls ?
Growing up in Scotland in the 1950’s I was one of 5 kids in a happy rural home in Perthshire. My father was Dr William Wilson, a hospital Consultant in Perth, my mother a nurse. His father John had been a Minister in the Church of Scotland, a complete shift from what was socially expected as all previous generations had been coal miners. This was only possible because his mother, the formidable Euphemia McCulloch, determined that none of her 7 sons would go down the pits. She put them all through university with her sewing machine. My grandfather said he never went to sleep other than to the sound of his mother’s sewing machine.

We would sometimes speculate where the curls that were scattered through our family might have come from. My father’s curls were even tighter than mine. At school I was called Willy the Wog which embarrassed me as I didn’t know what a Wog was.

I had no interest in my family history, and it was only when my cousin (another John) began researching it that he came up with the fact that one ancestor, James Wilson had emigrated to the US in 1766, fought against the British in the War of Independence and signed the Declaration of Independence, becoming one of the founding fathers of the US.
John’s research also gave him an interesting idea. He was able to trace the mining Wilson’s all the way back to 1489 (several called William) because until 1833 miners in Scotland were the property of the mine owners. That made them valuable serfs or slaves, so good records were kept. If a mine owner did not own enough miners he would sometimes import slaves from Africa – so John asked ‘might this have been where our family curls came from?’

I took a DNA test and was astonished and delighted to find that my ethnicity estimate included 3.4% African (2.4% North Africa and 1.1% Nigerian). Both these are slave areas and this would be consistent with ancestors being brought across in the early 1700s.

Suddenly as a proud Scot I have even more to be proud of and if I am honest I am still trying to get my head around all that it means. However, I am glad to have the chance to give my story to The Race Card Project.
Bill Wilson June 2021
Perth, Scotland

Your hair’s pretty. What are you?

FamilyRenee Bracey Sherman.
Oakland, CA.

“Can I touch your hair?” they ask, hand already extended, a mere inch from my thick brown curls. I feel invaded. Living as a biracial woman isn’t the easiest thing in the world. People come up to me with an inquisitively tilted head and say “What are you?” If I simply say “human” or “American” they reply, “No, you know what I mean.”

What they mean is what is my ethnic make up. Why does my tan skin look the way it does. Who are my parents and where are they from. Why does my hair look like that – how is it different from theirs. They’d like to categorize me – which is a natural thing for people to do, except these are people I don’t know. They’re strangers in a coffee shop who stare at me on and off for thirty minutes then come ask for the answer to the question they’ve been pondering. No one ever asks what my name is or how I’m doing that day. It makes me feel like an outsider in my own community. As if my skin color doesn’t belong.

People of all races and ethnicities ask me some of these deeply personal questions. And get frustrated with me whenever I don’t give them the answer they were looking for. I usually don’t mind sharing my family’s story, but I just wish people would ask my name first.

Puerto Rican. Mexican. Caucasian. That’s me.

Carissa Renee Chacon,
Wayne State,
Detroit, MI

Born with the curliest, thickest dark brown hair (well now it’s auburn). Hazel eyes that have green and specks of gold. Skin white as snow. There’s always been a push and pull situation regarding my ethnicity. Most people don’t believe me when I say I speak Spanish fluently. No, I never took classes for Spanish. I grew up with the language. I’ve received a lot of positive and negative backlash for my mixed race. Most work places have hired me because of me being bilingual. Yet I’ve had other places not hire me because they want someone “of color” to work for them. Not someone with white skin. Yet people don’t understand that I consider myself a person “of color” even though my skin is fair. I’m Hispanic, for crying out loud. People will just look at me and make assumptions right away. I think awareness about the race card is such a great way for this to become an open space where people can just express their feelings and have open conversations. It’s not everyday where we get to talk about this or it might be considered “taboo” or “uncomfortable” to some. But so what?

My natural hair looks like this.

Sherhonda
Florence, AL

As a child, every time a white girl touched my hair, she had something derogatory to say about how my hair felt to her fingers. Those experiences didn’t end with adulthood. I was a career professional at a university in Huntsville, Alabama, when a coworker asked to touch my hair. My hair was chemically relaxed, hung to my shoulders and had cascading curls that, to me, were soft, the way curls should be, according to everything I had ever read about beautiful hair. She rolled my hair between her fingers, looked surprised, and said “Huh. It feels like straw.” and turned abruptly and walked out of my office. I knew she was embarrassed by her comment. She obviously expected my hair to feel as silky as hers. I expected my hair to feel silky. But her comments took me back to my childhood and the playground where all those white girls deliberately looked at my braids, tossed their hair and mocked that my hair couldn’t flow through my fingers. All my life, straight hair defined whether I could consider myself beautiful, not just in the white race, but among African-American friends and family who also were conditioned to like straightened hair over natural hair. The first time I saw Tracy Chapman on television, I marveled at her hair. She was beautiful. But barely had the thought entered my head when I heard a comment from someone sitting near me who wondered out loud what doesn’t she do something about her hair? When I HAD to go natural several years ago because my scalp revolted to all the chemicals, I cringed, knowing any feelings of beauty were over for me because my hair would be straightened. Since going natural, it has been quite a self-education journey. At first I was so angry my scalp was turning against me. I struggled to feel even remotely attractive. Truth is, I still struggle, but now I play with my hair just to see how it will look with this twist, or not, with this up-sweep, or not, and how quickly, or how long different styles take to achieve. It has been difficult to erase a definition of beautiful hair that’s been a part of my world for 50 years, even if I never understood the definition to begin with. Our society still is too bogged down in “good hair” “bad hair.” comparisons. There are hundreds of websites and YouTube videos telling us natural is beautiful – I’m so thankful that I went natural in this technological age because there was plenty of support online. Online had to teach me how to deal with the hair growing out of my head — it’s something I should already be intimately familiar with but chemicals and flatirons kept it disguised so I would be acceptable and beautiful. Until mainstream television, magazines and music videos depict the same message, we’re doomed to continue to define our hair as beautiful only if it is straight feels acceptable beneath a stranger’s fingers.

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