The Race Card Project
By Michele Norris
Kwazi Owens
Washington, DC
I see so much divisiveness among black women due to colorism. I remember growing up and girls automatically not liking me just because of my complexion and me feeling the need to reel in my personality as not seem as though I’m trying to be “better” than others. As an adult still seeing the same issues amongst black women breaks my heart.
Melinda Quintero,
Santa Monica, CA.
Said to me and my 5 month old daughter while in line at a store. Woman was in her twenties.
Tina C. Ozturk,
Washington, DC.
You can’t imagine how many times people of all races exclaim my daughters cuteness while questioning my motherhood. I try not to take it personally, but I do find it rude and disrespectful to risk hurting a parent’s feelings just because you are curious. What’s the point?
Leah Thomas
Florissant, MO
I grew up in Saint Louis, MO and I moved to a mainly white private school in the 5th grade. I was a “gifted student” according to my public school district and my parents struggled to give me a better education. As I got older, of dating age, I started to get more attention from boys. That attention shaped my life in ways I never could have imagined.
I remember the first guy who liked me in 5th or 6th grade. He was black and we carpulled to school together. One day he told his white friend that he liked me when I was maybe five feet away. His friend then looked me up and down and said “man you can do better than that”. My eyes shot down at my feet and I walked away quicker than I knew I could. When boys liked me it seemed like it was always supposed to be a big secret. They would ask me to see a movie outside of school, but just give me a simple wave throughout the hallways.
It seemed like they were taught that black women were not supposed to be attractive. I was some unusual exception because I didn’t roll my neck and snap my fingers–like that was all black women were supposed to do. I wanted to cry and run away each time I heard those six words. It hurt me even more when it came from the black private school boys. They got sucked into the thought process that black women were beneath them and not meant to be attractive. How could they say those words against their own race?
They came from a black mother, have black cousins, and maybe have a black sister.
I felt like I had nowhere to turn and nowhere to run to. I was always the “first-black-girlfriend”. Just some educational experience for someone who originally never intended on dating a black woman.
I want to be beautiful for a woman. I am beautiful for a woman. Not beautiful for a black girl like I am so far beneath the expectations for beauty. I am beautiful because I am me and I am a person.
Lauren Higgs,
Bahamas.
A woman actually came up to me and asked me this.
Secunda Joseph,
Houston, TX.
I’ve always seen the beauty in myself even as a kid. My brother and I were the darkest of all aunts, and cousins besides my brother, and around family ” I was everything good” one of my several nicknames was chocolate drop. Then kindergarten started what I heard was “with your BLACK self” “you look like a African booty scratcher” and the compliment “you’re cute to be dark” – hence went my confidence. Darkness and Africa became a shame and a flaw. I have to thank God for opening my eyes and allowing me to see the beauty in my dark completion and my African roots #africanamericanconsciousness
Stephanie,
Marblehead, MA.
My husband is of Italian decent and has dark features, such as brown eyes, black hair, olive skin. I am 100% Irish with light features: light brown hair, blue eyes and pale skin. Our oldest daughter shares the same dark features as my husband. Once while picking up a few thing at a Walgreens the cashier made a comment about how “cute” my daughter was. Then she asked if she was “mine.” When I confirmed I was her mother the cashier then asked “is she mixed?” I was in such shock. First off, what made this cashier feel inclined to ask such a personal question, let alone be privy to the answer (along with everybody else in the line) and second, why are multiracial people (supposed and otherwise) expected to just take comments like this with a grain of salt and politely answer?
Adrienne Karyadi,
Los Angeles, CA.
I think of this as a supermarket check-out line experience: I’m waiting with strangers in some kind of line, and they notice me with my son. My son tries to engage them and they respond. And then they start wondering: what ethnicity is he? because he doesn’t look like he matches his mom’s ethnicity. Sometimes I’m patient and respond, “My husband’s ethnically Chinese.” Other times I’ll say, “He’s three.” The most uncomfortable times for me were when people would respond proudly, “I KNEW it! Half-Asian babies are the CUTEST!” because it makes me irritable and defensive, as if I selected my husband based on the potential attractiveness of our offspring. Interestingly, my son internalized that he was different and “Chinese” very early in life, even before he began schooling. We had to explain that although my husband is ethnically Chinese, he identifies himself as Indonesian (which is where he was born) because he has never been to China and never spoke that language.
Then there’s the time my son was called a “mongrel” by his classmates… but that’s another story.
Angel Liu
Los Angeles, CA
I’m an international student studying in America. Since I was born and raised in China, I have an obvious accent when I speak English. People can easily guess where I come from and my ethical background is very simple. I identify who I am very clearly, but when living such a diverse ethnic nation, I’m learning to embrace other people’s multicultural identity.
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