Mrs. Lopez
Phoenix, AZ

As an adult, I reflect on things my mother has taught me. There’s a handful of “advice” that sticks out in my mind. Her advice is meaningful to me now and I believe it has molded me into who I am, for better or worse. As a teacher, I find myself saying some of the same “words of wisdom” to my students. I do believe my mother raised me well.

The piece of advise that has been the strongest, and maybe the most harmful in my molding was, “Don’t give anyone a reason to say, ‘What do you expect, she’s Mexican.’” I’m sure this statement from my mother was derived from experiences she may have had or from stories that her mother had told about her abusive days in school.

I am Mexican but will say I’m Hispanic. To me, ‘Hispanic’, sounds more acceptable in today’s society. With the way most people view Mexican’s, from Mexico, I used to find myself not wanting to get mixed up, which embarrasses me to admit. I am not from Mexico, nor is my mother, grandmother, great grandmother, or even great-great grandmother.

“Don’t give anyone a reason to say, ‘what do you expect? She’s Mexican.’”

I heard this advice, or warning, almost every time I went somewhere without my parents. My mother had no control over us once we left the house but hoped that all she taught us would not be forgotten when our front door closed and the car door opened.

Because of this advice, when I would go out, I was known as shy. I never wanted to be near or involved with people who were “too loud.” Never wanted to have unnecessary attention drawn to me or my group. Never wanted my mother’s rearing to be criticized or questioned. Because of this advice, I hate confrontation. I notice when I am, or believe I am, being discriminated against. I speak intelligently, as she taught me. I am respectful to my elders and say please and thank you when necessary. All to avoid being expected to do or say something because “I’m Mexican.”