fear Archives - The Race Card Project

The real fear of a black parent

May 10, 2026May 11, 2026 Belinda Gilmore, black parent, dad, election, equality, fear, health, KKK, KY, Maceo, mom, real, social media, society, twitter

Belinda Gilmore,
Maceo, KY

It was early 2016, and I was on the phone talking to a friend I had not seen in a while. We were discussing life since she had to leave work due to a health issue. We both have a son the same age that would graduate high school in August. She was telling me about her son and how he was working because he had just gotten his first car. She went on to tell me that he has some new friends that live in the next town over, but she was afraid for him to go there (she lives in Breckinridge Country, Kentucky). I was confused, so I asked her why. She told me about some Klan activity that had taken place in the area before. I proceeded to question her fear. I acknowledged that there were still equality issues, but in the last decade the country had come so far. I went on to point out that we have a black president which I never thought would happen earlier in life. She stood firm and told me I just don’t understand. I didn’t.
The 2016 election campaign began. As a society, we are all attached in some way through social media. I only used Facebook to stay connected with family. I began to see so much hate being shared. I stopped opening it completely. I would only access Twitter because you are not required to follow certain individuals. Violence was coming to light more than I ever remember previously mainly toward black people but not limited to them. Then the election happened, and people quit being politically correct which brought me to the realization of how many people were before. I naively thought society was truly changing. I thought of my friend and all the things she will fear that I will never have to. I called my friend one day late in the year. Before we got too far into the conversation, I got a bit emotional and said, “I need to apologize to you,”

White, but scared to be alone.

January 26, 2026January 26, 2026 alone, Derry, fear, Hailey Mosher, NH, privilege, scared

Hailey Mosher,
Derry, NH

While I am white and live in a privileged world, I am still afraid to be alone in public places, especially places I am unfamiliar with. As a woman it has been instilled in me to be aware of my surroundings and the people around me at all times, especially when in public. I cannot imagine women of other races fear if even I am fearful while I live in privilege. I wish that we could all be treated as what we are, human beings, and not have to fear when doing day to day activities.

Student: Fearing That I’m Not Enough

June 12, 2025 Davenport, fear, IA, Maddie, not enough

Maddie,
Davenport, IA

Injustice fear pity hope faith joy

December 18, 2024December 19, 2024 Armando, Caracas, faith, fear, hope, injustice, JOY, Venezuela

Armando
Caracas, Venezuela

The people feel the injustice but hope and faith were always in their minds and day by day and life

What it means to fear the unknown?

August 7, 2024August 7, 2024 CA, fear, Lake Forest, Michael Lobaton, unknown

Michael Lobaton,
Lake Forest, CA

I am a part of every body

April 11, 2024 fear, ignorant, Lakebay, Monica Mary Maul, neighborhood, segregation, WA

Monica Mary Maul,
Lakebay, WA

I grew up in the central area of Seattle 1958 through the 1990’s. And my friends were of many skin colors and none of this mattered to me. I was a child who did not know about segregation, prejudice or color fear. The one’s I were fearful later in life were those ignorant white people who were outside my neighborhood of origin. I still have a feeling about ‘them’ today. So, I am white but I am not ‘white’ inside. I am a lot of different colors inside and I like it that way. This is how my mom planned it, living in the CD. I thank her for this.

“What are you?” – not a compliment.

April 11, 2024 compliment, connections, fear, Gene Tagaban, how to ask, Ruby Russoniello Tagaban, Ruston, WA, what are you

Ruby Russoniello Tagaban,
Ruston, WA

I’ve spent much of my life greeted with “What are you?” It is neither a form of greeting nor an encouragement to share. I took it to mean I looked “odd”. I had dark hair, olive skin, and green eyes. My father was a light-skinned Italian. My mother was Aaniiih and Nakoda. What does that mean, ‘what are you?’ What is the correct response except, “WTF?”
I am no longer asked this when accompanied by my Tlingit/Cherokee/Filipino husband. I believe they may assume my identity, or they may fear offending him.

But Black Mental Health Matters Too. . .

March 4, 2024March 5, 2024 character trait, Depression, Drew Ferebee, false relaity, fear, mental health, Norfolk, sad, silence, society, strong black dad, superwoman, VA

Drew Ferebee,
Norfolk, VA

What are some character traits you think of when someone ask you to describe a black man? Whats the first thoughts that pops into your head when you think of a black woman? Strong. “He was a strong, easy going black man.” “Behind every man is a strong black woman.” For years society has categorized us as the strong ones. So growing up you had to look up to your “Strong Black Daddy” and not feel fear or show emotions, you’re the man of the house you don’t have time to be sad. or you have to be the “Strong Black Woman” your mom is to the world. You have to be superwoman you don’t have time to be a sadwoman. You have to be there for everybody else, and make sure everybody is okay before yourself. I have some good news. Everything you just read wasn’t true. You don’t have to be superwoman you can be superwoman and sadwoman at the same time! Society has put this false reality into our heads that showing your emotions are a sign of weakness and that talking about your feelings is a bad thing. I’m here to tell you they’re not. Supressing your emotions only leads to a life of suffering in silence, which then leads to depression and eventually a life thats going to need serious healing. Truth is we all need healing. We are all dealing with something whether it be self esteem, depression, or even grief. Most people don’t know that your most traumatic experiences will stem from your childhood. “What happens in this house stays in this house.” Is a term often said by black families, meaning that no matter what happens to you in this house, what ever happens to your siblings in this house, whatever happens to me in this house remember it stays in this house and stays in your head. Not understanding that this philosophy is creating a lot of broken, hurt, fearful, as well as terrible memories for children around the world. Your memories are what shape your thoughts about the world. Imagine living in a world where you’re carrying around the weight and hurt of your childhood because you were trying to fit this unrealistic identity of “Strong” because you’re told to NEVER be weak, and being weak is a wrong thing. Maybe you are living this life, maybe you’ve been superwoman all your life as well as sadwoman on the inside. Today, I encourage you to be free, I encourage you to speak your truth! Free those thoughts that are trying to control your thought. Release every hurt that has held you hostage. And let go of every memory that has molded your view or bad perception of the world. Your mental health matters, and yours does too. Black Mental Health Matters too.

We choose fear over love everyday.

January 20, 2024January 20, 2024 choice, fear, love, Mike, Seattle, WA

Mike,
Seattle, WA.

Look in the EYE, smile, say HI!

January 14, 2024 Clearwater, Deborah Williams, eye, fear, FL, HI, skin color, smile

Deborah Williams
Clearwater, FL

Fear affects all of us. Bad people are out there but it’s not based on skin color. When you walk by, take a moment to look that fear in the eye. Smile and say HI! You will see that 99.9% of the time your fear was unfounded.

Two white children in Halloween photo

October 31, 2023October 31, 2023 back friend, Carrollton, Dave Parnell, fear, first experience, Halloween, kindergarten, neighborhood, party, TX, white friend

Dave Parnell,
Carrollton, TX.

Our kindergarten daughter wanted to go to her friend’s Halloween party. I saw that the address and the protective father in me did not feel safe letting her go. But I called and the black man I spoke to certainly heard the fearful white father on the other end of the phone and assured me that they were holding the party in the house in order to keep the children safe. Short story is that this was among the most memorable and fun Halloweens we’ve had.

The concept of race creates fear

October 31, 2023October 31, 2023 concept of race, excuses, fear, hatred, ingroup, Mexican, outgroup, Peter Smucz, Power, USA

Peter Smucz,
USA.

The concept of race is actually a manifestation of a very old and fundamental human process, that of ingroup and outgroup identification. It developed for a single purpose, to facilitate harm against the outgroup, in this case the race in question. But hatred doesn’t come out of nowhere, their needs to be a reason, even if it is not a valid one. People wouldn’t bring such energy to bear against a target they thought didn’t matter, so the best remaining emotion to draw on is fear. All prejudice stems from fear. We even recognize this in terms like homophobic. Without fear, hate has no basis. Fear is based in the belief that a harm will come, and is built around taking action against it. This plays in to the nature of prejudice. The hatred of prejudice is designed to keep a group from gathering any power, and showing them that they are not welcome. Without the certainty that the group could cause trouble, there would be no reason to pay them any mind. Therefore, the concept of race must convince its believers that members of the other group is dangerous in order to get them to take action. This is why you see claims like the Mexicans are taking our jobs. To add an ironic twist, since the current concept of race developed during the colonial period, its likely that it developed out of a fear that what the colonizers were doing was wrong. To counter this fear they developed excuses that made it easier for them to do what they did.

Prison made me fear black people

August 29, 2023August 30, 2023 anonymous, black people, corrrectional officer, fear, jail, police, prison, USA

Anonymous,
USA

I grew up poor, not terribly poor – I was able to receive a number of things that many people much worse off than me would never be able to have. Based on where I lived, I was surrounded by many black families, I never had any reason to dislike black people. I had many black friends growing up and therefore had no issue with black people. Years later, I had a desire to join law enforcement and make a change, figured joining Corrections was a foot-in-the-door. After three years as a C.O. and witnessing more violence than I can remember, my heart races around black men walking in a group with other black men. Talking to any black man who talks like a rapper, dresses like one or whatever else sets me on edge to the highest degree. I understand we’re all people. I understand the bias I have but I can’t shake it. The sick part is that part of me doesn’t see the sense in doing so. It makes me feel safe and I feel no desire to change how I think in this regard. I work down in a city and I think that every time a black man passes me I run the possibility of being jumped. I know this is probably some level of PTSD but at the same time it still feels rational.

My fears are for my grandchildren.

June 8, 2023June 8, 2023 Elgin, fear, grandchildren, IL, Joyce Fountain

Joyce Fountain
Elgin, IL

Truth behind fear of Black men

September 15, 2022 black men, Christian Armour, fear, MS, Starkville, stereotype, truth

Christian Armour,
Starkville, MS

I’ve often myself have asked myself many times before why people fear black men so much. As a young black man myself, the last thing I would want is for another individual to be afraid of me simply because of my race. However, as I explored this topic further, I’ve come to understand that people fear black men because of the dangers we pose when we decide to try and be successful in a world that wasn’t created for us to be successful in. People see us as a threat not because of our skin complexion, but because of the fact that many of us won’t conform to the racial stereotypes and lifestyles that have been put in place. The expectation is that a black man is going to grow up to become some type of criminal or unlaw abiding citizen, however, when the opposite happens and a black man chooses to try to be successful, such as by becoming an entrepreneur or working high-paying jobs that not many black men work, that is when the fear arises. The fear of black men arises when a black man doesn’t conform to who a black man is supposed to be in American society.

Everyone at my church is white.

July 15, 2022July 15, 2022 church, Cole Chandler, diverse, fear, segregate, tragedy, TX, waco, white

Cole Chandler
Waco, TX

It is difficult to stand in solidarity with one another and overcome our fears of one another when we continue to segregate ourselves in our supposedly integrated society. We are not even diverse, much less reconciled. What a tragedy.

All have same needs, desires, fears.

July 15, 2022July 15, 2022 Big Pine Key, Black, Chris Todd, coworkers, desires, fear, FL, needs, nurse, socioeconomic

Chris Todd,
Big Pine Key, FL.

As a nurse, working with black nurses, I realized there was a bigger gulf with regards to socioeconomic class than with race. My coworkers, regardless of race, wanted their kids to go to college, not get pregnant out of wedlock, not get in trouble with the law. But my black coworkers would talk of certain poor blacks in a way I would not dare, in the same way, in fact, my folks would talk of “poor white trash.”