X

I forgot how to say that

Jocelyn Fernandez,
Santa Rosa, CA

When I was younger, I was able to speak fluent Spanish without trying to. I could communicate with my family without thinking twice and I felt closely connected to my culture. After growing up in America around many white people and barely any Spanish being spoken, I forgot how to say many things in Spanish. Now, having full conversations in my Native language can be difficult. Sometimes when my family speaks to me in Spanish I pause for a second trying to remember the correct word, but it just never comes to me. It feels so embarrassing, especially when my friends ask me about a word and I just say “I forgot how to say that”. Inside I truly feel frustrated with myself. Not just because I can’t remember a few simple words, but because I’m also losing a part of myself.

This face doesn’t go to jail

Christina,
Centennial, CO

This was a statement I often said between the age of 18-22 years old, in a bragging way. I was young, female, attractive, and white – physical traits that gave me a certain advantage in my interactions with the police. I flaunted a total disregard for the rules and authority figures, after growing up in a very authoritarian home I was somewhat in a state of rebellion. On many occasions I engaged in disorderly conduct, trespassing, vandalism, public intoxication, and other flagrant violations of the laws. When interacting with police, I would call them demeaning names and laugh about it. However, as my brain developed into adulthood I realized just how harmful this statement of privilege is. I have reflected on the likelihood that were it not for the privilege, if any of those traits were different for me, then I would never have gotten away with many of my criminal actions. And, I never did go to jail, though there are at least a dozen instances that would have been justified arrests.
My roomates postgraduate school were named Resard & Desmond. They were both good friends of mine from college marching band, and they were also black men over the height of 6’2″. A few car rides with them taught me that their interactions with police were very different, and they would absolutely never willfully behave the way I had. It wasn’t just the threat of a ticket on the line, it was the fear of arrest & possibility of excessive force as a reaction from the police to any of their own misinterpreted words or actions they might inadvertently demonstrate. I feel a lot of remorse for the way I behaved during that time in my life – not only because of the behaviors, but also because of how I perpetuated the harmful reality of my male friends of color by making this entitled comment.

Our boys died for your kind

Deborah Halperin,
Bloomington, IL

A man said this to me while we were in line at the post office. I was 18 and had just moved from Hawaii to Iowa for college. I am part Chinese and Filipino. I look Asian. He must have thought I was Vietnamese? Korean? I was caught off guard. I said nothing. No one ever said anything like that to me. In Hawaii we all look “hapa” but not on the mainland.

White indigenous girl adopted white family

Hannah Anderson,
Southeastern Community College, IA

>My upbringing was different than most, I visited a majority of North America by 13. As a child I had always adapted to every culture I was placed in, rather than have a full knowledge or identity of my own. Adopted within a year to a white family. My adoptive mom, Irish and raised in the suburbs by her biological parents. My adoptive father had a single father also being white, indigenous, and adopted shared a similar outcaste as me. I grew up attending pow wows and potlucks, a taste of both worlds essentially but never being able to fully claim any identity of my own. I felt more at home at pow wows than pot lucks for sure. Yet I never understood who I was or where I came from other than knowing I was adopted. Until meeting my birth family, I found understanding and closeness as did he. We were able to implicate more parts of our culture into our blended lives through traditions, recipes, celebrations and pastimes. Our birth families helped us better understand the parts of us we felt missing or misunderstood.

I thought they would go back

Marilyn Blotcher Mitchell,
Tallahassee, FL

Grew up in Miami; Cuban refugees started coming when I was in elementary school. Bumper stickers said “Will the last American leaving Miami please bring the flag”. Now I wish I had learned to speak Spanish.

Mexican Born achieving my American dream

Jesus Castro
Menifee, CA
California Baptist University
CBU HIS311

I was born in Mexico and am the first person in my family to have a career with retirement benefits. Proud to be in this country and served in the Military. I now have a family and I am teaching my 2 year old son the spanish language. **CBU HIS311

Why are they staring at me?

Sophia Villasenor,
Anaheim, CA

Moving to Boise, Idaho when I was 7, I dealt with a change. I quickly felt as if I wasn’t the same as everyone else since I was one of the only Mexican kids in the Elementary School. The only other Mexican kids were my siblings so we all we told we were different. Whether classmates flocked to me because I was different in their eyes, it was overwhelming being paid attention to due to my skin color.

He needed help. I gave it.

G. Wilkins,
Lakewood, CO

At 5’2” I was a petite young White female who adored road trips, had driven mostly alone through all of the 50 United States. Oh yes, I’ve had many adventures. Many people helped me along the way when I had car trouble.

In my 40’s, (around 1985) I made a road trip into the “Great American South”. I can’t remember why but this trip my goal was up the East Coast. I dropped a friend somewhere in Louisiana and kept going along the Gulf of Mexico, turning north onto I-95 when I met the Atlantic Ocean. My immediate destination became Washington DC. Heading north into South Carolina, I recall foot thick trees snapped by a recent hurricane which might help date this event.

Though I kept a cooler in the passenger-seat footwell, I took an exit to try to find a better lunch. There had been recent heavy rain. The slick exit ramp curved, hiding everything but the trees lining it. Suddenly I came across a car flipped entirely on its roof and a man about my age standing just looking at it. I stopped, and asked him, “Are you okay?” He gave me a dazed look. “Is that your car? Is anyone else in it?” I asked. “I need to get to a phone” he replied. (This was before the days of cell phones.) “Are you hurt? Is anyone else?” No answer. “Get in,” I said. “We’ll find a phone.” I told him to put the cooler in the backseat. He started to climb into the backseat. I said, “No, put the cooler in the backseat and ride up front with me.” He did and gave me directions to a small strip mall not far off the highway exit. He asked to be dropped off there. I did, but was still anxious about leaving him, concerned he might have had head trauma,. “Are you going to be able to contact someone?” He assured me he would. I reluctantly left him behind and continued my search for lunch. My trip home to Colorado was uneventful. But I still wonder if I shouldn’t have left him alone until his friend showed up. Why? He was Black. Ho hum. That shouldn’t make a difference should it?

Age 5 They don’t serve Mexicans

Mario Lopez,
Chicago, IL

Our family was on vacation on the way to visit family in Mexico and we went to some restaurant in Texas and after sitting unattended for almost an hour, my dad tells me “we’re going to have to go.” I asked him “Why?” and he tells me “they don’t serve Mexicans here.” Again I asked “but why? “We have money to pay don’t we?” my Dad says “of course we do.” I persisted “so why can’t they serve us, we’re not asking for anything for free?” He responds, “they just don’t serve Mexicans.” For many years I could not understand why a business would willingly lose out on making money by refusing to serve someone because of who they were.

DON’T ASK HER ABOUT HER HAIR

JOLIE HUGHES,
NEW LONDON, NH

1968. I was 7 years old and in 2nd grade when I was aware of one little girl’s shiny, pressed hair, so different from my own brown pixie haircut. I want to know how it got that way and another girl told me “don’t ask her about her hair” as though I had done something wrong. I felt deep shame and embarrassment then and carried that with me as an adult that I wasn’t to ask questions or learn/admire/reach out.
As a little girl all I wanted was a doll that looked like that little girl, because I thought she (the girl) was so beautiful.

Stop watching, Start listening. It’s complicated.

Phyllis A. Christie,
Plover, WI

I have learned more about our racial diversity, our racial tensions, and our racial inequities in the past three years than I learned in the first eighty years of my life. It is overwhelming that so much of our nation’s history was “white washed”. No pun intended. Thank you for your courage to begin a new chapter with the entire history of our country for our children to study.

Race is a Matter of Mind

Scan-17John Stephens,
New Market, VA.

Many years ago, when I was a young man, I went to see the movie The Defiant Ones with Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier. The film was about two convicts who were both strident racists. They escaped from prison but they could not escape each other because they were shackled to one another. Over the course of the ensuing drama, they not only put aside their differences for their mutual benefit, but in the process they became friends. Driving home from the movie, I thought to myself how great it would be to have a black friend like that and to be free of the color barrier. Wait a minute! What about Bill Harkey? I wondered. He and I were co-workers and best of friends. We spent a lot of time off work traveling and dining together. I tried hard to picture him in my mind, until I finally realized that yes he was indeed a very dark African American. The reason for the momentary confusion was that I had never before thought of Bill as a Black man. I had only known him as a friend. Race is just a matter of mind.

Join the Newsletter

Subscription to our newsletter open soon.

Indulge in timeless elegance with our hand-curated collection of luxury vintage men’s fashion. From classic suits to iconic accessories, our online store offers a premium shopping experience for the modern gentleman who appreciates quality and style. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe with our carefully selected pieces that celebrate the art of craftsmanship and heritage fashion.