Listen when we say it’s real!
Celestial Holmes,
Yulee, FL.
It’s frustrating when whites are dismissive and argumentative about race issues and privilege in America.
I fell for the assimilation trap
Brian Roberts,
Gaithersburg, MD.
I am a middle-aged American black man. I thought that if I lived my life as a solid citizen, went to the right schools, secured a good career, raised a family, I would not only provide for my family, I would set an example that would make white people less frightened by black people. I thought my example of hard work and assimilation, and that of others who followed a similar path, would improve race relations. This has not been the case. In fact, my example is used to discredit other black people who have not had the same success. What I hear is, “if you made it, what’s wrong with other blacks? Why can’t they do it?” As if racial prejudice, discrimination and institutional racism did not exist. It’s very frustrating.
Yellow: Neither White Nor Black Enough
Yuri Yamamoto,
Raleigh, NC.
I am a Japanese immigrant. I sometimes feel lost in this society where race is all about black and white. I often feel that I am neither white nor black enough to contribute significantly to a diversity conversation, most of which seems to be about reconciliation and healing from the slavery. While growing up in Japan, I learned that we were yellow. I don’t understand why there is no yellow mentioned in this country even though there are histories of East Asian immigrants in the U.S. Also, it is frustrating that being an Asian does not seem to count as “minority” when it comes to higher education and jobs even though we are racial minority.
On another topic, while I would like my racial identity to be acknowledged and embraced, I would not like to be boxed into stereotypes. “I’m Japanese and I’m not Japanese”
Being “mixed” race is super frustrating.
Amber,
Boise, ID.
No one gets to decide what “race” they’re born as, but a lot of people have the privilege of being able to say “I’m black,” or “I’m white,” or “I’m native American,” etc, without anyone questioning or refuting the statement, based on what *they* think you’re allowed to call yourself. Which is why I think we should stop talking about race. A new sort of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Ethnicity is more important than race, anyway, so let’s start asking about that, instead, if we’re just so curious that we can’t contain the question.
Race was made up a few centuries ago so people could make broad decisions about which people to dehumanize and enslave. Ethnicity is about culture, traditions, family, and community. And it’s so much more interesting. I’d rather hear about the village or tribe of a person’s ancestors than a robotic breakdown along the lines of, “I’m 42% white, 13% asian, etc…”
I grew up going to pow-wows and ceremonies and wearing my grandmother’s gorgeous beadwork. My great-grandfather was the eldest member of his tribe before he passed, he was a victim of the forced assimilation movement, and he was named in a Supreme Court case involving native American religious freedom. And we’re related to a man who led a revolt against the government on behalf of his people in the 19th century. And that’s so much more interesting to talk about than having to explain, “well, I’m only X% native, but that’s the family I was raised in.” And I’ve had people tell me I have to call myself white because my blood quantum is too low. No. Indigenous North Americans were nearly eradicated, and there are still people living who were sent to boarding schools to have the “Indian” beat out of them. If someone asks about my ancestry, they’re not getting a one-word answer. I won’t help erase the culture I was brought up in. So, my race doesn’t matter to me. My people do.
Don’t assume I’m racist like you.
Nicole Moriarty,
Tallahassee, FL.
I’m white and I’ve been living in the south for about 5 years and this crazy thing continually happens to me: white people see the color of my skin and assume, wrongly, that I harbor the same ignorance and racism that they do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of my white privilege and I’m aware that I knowingly and unknowingly harbor prejudices but I work on this every day and try to become more and more aware of myself.
These white people will lean in conspiratorially and say things like “It’s dangerous there, you know, because they’re black.” or “Well blacks and whites shouldn’t marry it’s just wrong.” Or they will use the N word word around me and I’ll have to explain how that is A) extremely offensive and B) how they aren’t allowed to use that around me.
It’s frustrating to me that they look at me and wrongly assume I would just naturally agree with them, it’s frustrating to me that excuses will be made for these people, and I will be told to get over it, it’s how they are raised, they are too old to know better, it was just a joke, don’t take it so personally. It’s frustrating to me that in Twenty Thirteen I can’t date a man of color without stares and outright criticism. But what I’m most frustrated about is this uncomfortableness that I feel in these situations is roughly less then 1% of my entire life, but a person of color however, will have these experiences everyday.
Every. Day.
Blacks who speak Spanish confuse people
Manuela Bernardez Kuchta,
Pittsbugh, PA.
It can be very frustrating at times explaining myself or a good teaching experience depending on who’s questioning me.
