guilty Archives - The Race Card Project

Hatred hurts the hated and hater

October 4, 2022October 4, 2022 angry, black Marine, black people, bottle of wine, Dan Creamer, guilty, hatred, ID, Jim Crow South, Marine Corps, Marines, military, mouth, Sandpoint, saved my life, self-hatred, sharing, shoot, United States Marine Corps, white man, wine

Dan Creamer,
Sandpoint, ID.

I grew up in the Jim Crow South. Being white I always felt both guilty and angry about the way black people were treated. In the Marine Corps, I accepted a bottle of wine from a black Marine and drank from it without wiping off the bottle or my mouth and he remarked on it. We talked about race some and went our separate ways. Two weeks or so later that Marine saved my life by stepping in front of another black man wanting to shoot any white man. It shames me that I have lost touch with him…

Not all innocent. Not all guilty.

September 12, 2022September 12, 2022 billboards, Caroline Kish, Dunwoody, GA, guilty, High School, innocent, modern day, order, peace, social, stereotypes

Caroline Kish,
Dunwoody, GA.

I will not deny that race continues to reek extreme havoc on modern day social order. I see it every day at my high school, in the news, and even on the billboards lining the highway. We can all say that we ‘don’t see color’, but in reality, there are not many truly color blind people in the world. Most of us can’t help resorting to stereotypes the instant we see someone who is not a member of our race.

But this does not mean that we are all racist. Today, many think in black and white and generally tend to emphasize the licentious tendencies of human character. But we are not inherently evil, and if we work together to break down the barriers between the peoples of the world that have stood for centuries, we can make peace with who we all are.

I didn’t ask for this privilege.

August 6, 2021August 6, 2021 AL, American, campus, disadvantage, guilty, Minority, Northport, personal experience, privilege, Rebecca Whiting, sexual minority, society, University of Alabama

Rebecca Whiting,
Northport, AL.

I thought very deeply about what I wanted to use to best express myself for this card. With my personal experience, I do know the benefits of white privilege, and what access that gives me to various different facets of our American society. I do not say this to make other whites feel guilty, only instead as a way of helping people realize that not everyone is born with the same advantages that a caucasian person has. These struggles are unique to the minorities of America, and should not be brushed off simply because the majority race does not face them on a day to day basis.
However, I do face some disadvantages as a woman, but these are far less than those that women of color face, or even the discrimination that sexual minorities face as well. Being aware of these privileges that I have allows me to use it to my own advantage, as well as being an advocating voice for those who wouldn’t otherwise be heard simply because of the color of their skin. With this, I hope to help in enacting racial equality into the 21st century not only in my city and on my campus, The University of Alabama, but also hopefully on a larger state or national scale.

Trending new minority to hate: whites

November 23, 2020 Bev Parisi, Greenbelt, guilty, Jewish, MD, racial slur, woke, WOP

Bev Parisi,
Greenbelt, MD

My mother’s family was told “get out Wop,” because they’re Italian. As I grew up I was called a “Christ-killer” and people carved swastikas into my school desks because I’m Jewish. Now my daughter will be called “ugly” “fragile” and “guilty” because she is “white.” In most places I’ve lived, white people have been a minority population (44% in Chantilly VA, 27% in Baltimore MD, 13% in PG County MD). “Woke” people don’t hate whites because they’re the privileged majority; they hate them because as of this generation, they’re the newest minority for people to hate.

My ancestors massacred Indians near here

September 21, 2020September 21, 2020 Ancestors, Bruce Hawkins, drug war, guilty, Indians, MA, massacre, Native American, Northampton, prison, responsible, slave, slavery

Bruce Hawkins,
Northampton, MA.

That doesn’t make me guilty, it makes me responsible. Prison is the new slavery, and the Drug War is modern slave-catching.

Pale faced; I must be guilty

June 15, 2020June 15, 2020 "Pale Face", American History, atlanta, GA, guilty, Katherine, slaves

Katherine
Atlanta, GA

I am not responsible for the actions of people one hundred and fifty years ago who enslaved an entire race. The institution of slavery is a horrific part of American History, and it was a heinous crime against African Americans. Because of that institution, there is racism alive and around still and it makes me absolutely furious. But it is not my fault. When broad statements like “white people are all racists” are made, I get a bit frustrated because it’s just not true. I do not contribute to the problem [of racism] and believe that I am a good enough person to stand up if I were to witness a hate crime against any race in front of me. Just because I am white does not mean that I am prejudiced or racist. I want to help in any way I am able; I want to change people’s minds about their prejudices towards people who are different from them.

Drop the guilt, and become aware

July 22, 2019July 22, 2019 aware, Danyahel Norris, guilty, Houston, move forward, TX, white guilt

Danyahel Norris,
Houston, TX.

When I have a conversation about race or racism with someone white, I tend to get a few common responses. One being the fact that they weren’t even alive for things like slavery and Jim Crow, so they shouldn’t be blamed for it (not that I ever did). Another is the idea that if their family migrated to this country with nothing and made something of themselves, people of color should be able to do the same. Yet another, and one of my personal favorites, is that racism is somehow only a big deal, because it is talked about so much. If I make the point that a large segment of people of color are currently at the bottom of virtually every socioeconomic indicator, many brush it off as an exaggeration.

As a man of color, when I speak on race or racism, it is not for the purpose of making anyone feel guilty or to make myself the proverbal victim. It is for the purpose of making people aware that a problem does still exist and to let them know avoidance of the topic will not solve it. Many people in America are under the impression that since we have a black President and a number of wealthy individuals of color, that we have overcome most of the systematic racism of our country’s past. In reality, there have always been people of color who have faired better than the collective, but that doesn’t discount the fact that most have continued to live at the absolute bottom rung of society.

So, I challenge everyone to drop any guilty feelings and talk candidly about the past and current racial problems of our society, so that we can seek solutions that will allow everyone to move forward.

I feel guilty, being born white.

November 26, 2018November 26, 2018 born white, guilty, Hayley Franklin, VA, Virginia Beach, white guilt

Hayley Franklin,
Virginia Beach, VA.

I feel like I’m being replaced.

October 12, 2018August 4, 2020 accomplishment, america, CA, Central, Chinese, colorless, diversity, Europeans, guilty, Mexican, Normal Rockwell, problem, radical, replaced, Rusty Shackleford, Sacramento, Sikhs, South American, threatened, voice

Rusty Shackleford,
Sacramento, CA.

I’ve always been surrounded by diversity and never had any issues with it, or even noticed it. Growing up in a diverse area my best friends were Sikhs, Mexicans, Chinese, etc. As I became older and more aware of the world at large, I knew what diversity was, but it felt fine because it felt like it was just this organic thing.

Now I guess I feel.. Threatened? I feel ways that I would judge someone else for expressing when I was younger. Whites in America are honor bound to be colorless and to act as if race only exists for everyone else, and that by default everyone else needs our help, “The White Mans Burden” or something. This demonization by some of the more radical voices on the left of white people has, if anything, made me move further to the right. A sort of visceral survival reflex I guess.

Now I’m starting to actually recognize that yeah, I’m a white guy. I’m also starting to feel proud of some of the accomplishments of my ancestors in ways I never cared about before. As a reflex to the demonization of the straight white male, I start wishing we could turn back the clock, or at least hit the brakes on progressivism.

I start to think of how Europeans showed up in Central and South America, and were armed with ships and armor and guns, while the natives only had spears and clubs. When the europeans showed up in Africa, they had ships and armor and guns, and the Africans only had spears and clubs.

It horrifies me to feel these feelings, I feel guilty about them, but maybe on some level our society we create *is* objectively better? First western europe conquered most of the known world, and then europeans conquered the entire north american continent and split the atom, and with that established our own silent hegemony over the world which we are losing our grip on.

I’m terrified that I think that’s cool. I know I shouldn’t feel proud of that, or is that ok? American values seem to be in decline proportional to this increase in diversity and progressive values. I think white people being less racist in America is an objectively good thing, but I think as the gatekeepers and protectors of American society, our demographic decline is an objectively *bad* thing.

My wife is Mexican, and I have a son. I love both of them, but a part of me is feeling guilty for a new reason now, that maybe I’m part of that problem? I yearn for an America I never knew, one which looks like a Norman Rockwell painting. It’s silly and perhaps even shameful, but I think that’s how I feel.

WASP, Northener, no slaves, guilty?

April 10, 2018 Barbara Kuether, country, dallas, extrapolate, guilty, History Complicated, slaves, South, TX, WASP

Barbara Kuether,
Dallas, TX.

Discussions of race seem to extrapolate the South to the entire country. History is more complicated.

Complicated, a foot in two worlds.

March 27, 2018March 27, 2018 average, both worlds, CA, complicated, foot, growing up, guilty, husband, Javiera, joke, light skin, rural, San Diego, two worlds, white person

Javiera,
San Diego, CA.

My husband often jokes that I’m not “brown” because my light skin makes me look like an average white person. But growing up in rural Missouri, I never felt like a “white” person because I was teased for my hispanic features. I’m not mixed race and was born in a Latinx country, yet somehow feel like I have a foot in both worlds since I lived in the US my whole life. I feel like white people and hispanics want me to choose a team, but being hispanic is more complicated than that; I’m technically both. Despite being percieved as white by some, I have felt discrimination and rejection for being hispanic.

I feel even more conflicted when I think about the children I will eventually have with my white husband. I feel guilty that I’m glad his/her features will most likely be white enough that he/she will not experience discrimination. I’m also sad that because my child will look white he/she won’t feel the connection to a hispanic heritage, and he/she may even feel like an outsider when around other hispanics.

I’m not guilty, Family from Norway.

February 1, 2018May 27, 2022 Ancestors, faimily, Family, guilt, guilty, Michael J, MN, my fault, Norway, plantation, Rochester, Southern MN, Sweden

Michael J,
Rochester, MN.

I just feel I am a little tired of feeling guilty about being a white male. My family came from Norway and Sweden, we never owned slaves, and moving to Southern Minnesota, didn’t even have a plantation. Nevertheless it seems that this issue is somehow my fault as well.

I really hate the word “white”.

September 13, 2017September 13, 2017 Anna, Columbia, Czech, first generation, guilt, guilty, hate, heritage, italian, oppression, problem, SC, skin, white

Anna,
Columbia, SC.

I know I have “white” skin, but I really hate that word. I don’t think about myself as “white”. I am Italian and Czech. My dad was the first generation of my family to live in America. Our family wasn’t here for the Civil War, we didn’t enslave anybody. In fact, my dad came here because the Nazis, and then the Soviets, were murdering my people and enslaving them in his country. My grandfather was in a concentration camp. My dad has PTSD from fighting Soviet soldiers. So when somebody calls me white and tells me all about how my people enslaved theirs, I get a little offended. My skin color doesn’t erase the struggle of my people, and it does not define my mindset. I am not racist, and I am not ignorant of the struggle of oppressed people in this country. I do not carry “white guilt”. All I’m guilty of is wanting to live my life. When you call me white, you pretend my heritage does not exist, and you generalize who I am based on my skin color. Please stop assuming things about me just because I have paler skin than you. And please stop acting like your struggle is the only struggle that matters. We are all going to have to work together if we want to solve the problem of oppression.

Thought it didn’t matter. It does.

April 6, 2017September 9, 2020 Avery, Chicopee, children of color, disdain, diverse, dog whistle, eneducated, guilty, it matters, MA, microagressions, Racist, suburb, white people

Avery,
Chicopee, MA.

I’m white, but many of my friends growing up were children of color. I always thought that we were treated the same because nobody was overtly racist. Then I started educating myself and learned about concepts like dog-whistling and microaggressions. I was stunned to realize that I had been totally wrong the whole time–white people in my “diverse” suburb were just as racist as the “uneducated country people” they spoke of with disdain. Further, I realized that I wasn’t exempt from this; I had been just as guilty of some of these subtle acts of racism as the people around me. “Race doesn’t matter” is a nice pipe dream, but in today’s world, it isn’t accurate. We’re all complicit in racism and white supremacy, and the best thing I and other white people can do is recognize that.

I’ve been guilty of hurtful discrimination.

February 22, 2017 afraid, blame, CA, CBU HIS311, confess, discrimination, emotion, guilty, hurt, Jonathan Routon, judge, proud, Riverside, weight

Jonathan Routon,
Riverside, CA.

Often times people are afraid to own up to past racism due to how they may be judged. I must confess that I have thrown hurtful and disgusting words in my youth and while I am far from proud of this period of my life I also fully own the fact that I did it. Even if you feel you should not be to blame because you were young, or others did it, these words have an immense amount of weight and emotion leveled behind them regardless of how trivially you toss them about.

I feel guilty without a jury.

February 8, 2017 blamed, Family, guilty, jury, KY, Louisville, Rudy Vogt

Rudy Vogt,
Louisville, KY.

I feel constantly blamed for the actions of family I never met.

“Donald Trump: we’re not like him.”

February 1, 2017February 1, 2017 7th Grade Trailblazer, diverse, Donald Trump, guilty, High Tech Middle Media Arts, police, police brutality, R.E.A.L. Talk, racism, same, shoorting, tuaght, United Nations Educational, white people, you're so white

R.E.A.L. Talk,
High Tech Middle Media Arts,
7th Grade Trailblazer

Last year when the police brutality shootings started, my parents talked to me about what happened, they were really surprised and I was to. I wondered why these policemen would do such a thing when we have come so far with racism. I run into racism a lot during school: people saying racist jokes and people saying racist stuff to their friends just playing around with them, like “you’re so white I need sunglasses to look at you” when they say that you know there just joking around so it doesn’t hurt. Me and my friends have done these things we have said these things to each other, we all laugh at the jokes we say. The reason why I chose this six word memoir was because I think some people expect all white people to be racist and that’s not true, it’s actually racist to think that. Sometimes when I talk about racism I feel a little guilty because the whites were very racist towards blacks . I think I am very exposed to the problem because my school is very diverse. We are doing a project about race and racism, and also making merchandise which will hopefully create dialogue about race and racism. I used to think that racism wasn’t a problem because before the past two years there hasn’t been a lot of problems, but due to the problems we are facing today, I think we need to fix it. The police are supposed to be protecting us, instead some of them are choosing to go back to the way our country used to be.

Racism is Taught

Racism is taught, you aren’t born racist. If we were born with racism wouldn’t we have always been racist? According to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), “For the past 500 years, people have been taught how to interpret and understand racism. Also, scientists attempted to classify human races based on variations in characteristics such as skin color, hair color, form, eye color, facial anatomy, and blood groups. In the recent past, various scientists, such as Franz Boas, have divided us into anywhere between three and more than thirty different races, without any success. Most of these hypothetical “races” were developed using assumptions about genetic relationships and distributions among different human populations.” That means this horrible thing has been taught to generations and generations of people in our world. Now we know racism is a problem we need to stop in our society, we need to fix this as soon as possible. If someone who were to disagree they might say if we weren’t born with racism how was it created. Well, it was created. When explorers from Europe landed on the islands with tribes they categorized them into races. According to the American Anthropology Association. After you read this, if you hear a racist comment I want you to stop it and tell them not to do that, to help our community.

I feel guilty of my skin color

November 11, 2016 Color, Delaware, Elisha Lowery, feel, guilty, human, OH, skin color

Elisha Lowery,
Delaware, OH.

At times I feel guilty for being white. I feel people look at me and say “she has it easy she is white”. I feel guilty of how certain people still today treat colored people and they should’t treat them badly because we are all human.

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