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Cleaning myself to look like her

Matthew Garcia,
Salinas, CA.

I’m African-American, my mother would have my stay at my baby sitters house after school while she was working. One day my mom picked me up from my baby sitters house but before we left my mom and the babysitter were having conversation. I was playing in the living room when i noticed how different my mom (Black) and baby sitter (White) were in terms of color. I the didn’t understand why our color was different and I guess it never mattered to me anyways but anyways I started to scratch myself and rub myself harshly. My mom and baby sitter noticed and mom asked “Son what are you doing?” I replied, “Im cleaning myself to look like her.” *points at baby sitter.* Both laugh, it was my first experience and conscious thought on how different we seemed to be in color.

You Don’t Look Like Your Name

Jessica Davila,
Rowlett, TX

I am a tanned skin, brown hair, brown eyes, Mexican American woman. My married name was Jessica Phillips. I worked at a doctor’s office on the “rich” part of town while getting my degree in biology. On multiple occasions, during phone conversations with patients, I would get the compliment on how well-spoken I am. When said patients would come in for their scheduled visit they would request for my assistance and almost all of them would be completely surprised at the sight of me. Too many to count stated, “You don’t look like your name, and you’re so well-spoken!” I am sure they meant it as a compliment, and for the most part I did take it that way, so I simply smiled and thanked them. But I was always left with the unanswered question, how is a tanned skin, brown hair, brown eyes, Mexican American with the name Jessica Phillips supposed to look or speak? I chose those six words because it goes to show how society has a perceived notion of what Mexicans, Hispanics, or Latinos are supposed to look, sound, and apparently be named. The world is so diverse and yet certain people are so boxed in that they cannot see beyond their own nose. I am much more than the color of my skin, my name, or the words I use to communicate. It is a part of who I am, but it does not compose the whole of me. I am a proud Texan with strong Mexican roots embedded in rich, beautiful American soil.

What does an American Look Like

Carlos,
Beloit, WI.

What does an American Look Like? The real question is, “what was the intentional look of an American.” America is a history of exclusion and Labor needs. Immigration laws were molded in exclusion, but the need of minority work has changed what an Americans looks like. For they were part of responsibility of making this great country. One thing that minorities in this country have had to battle was their American identitiy. White privilege is the ability of never having to defend your American status.

“What did he look like?” “Friendly.”

Matt Nightingale
Santa Rosa, CA

My name is Matt, and my family and I are white. About five years ago, I learned a powerful lesson from my son.

I had taken my kids to go swimming. I noticed my 7-year-old son Zach playing with a little African-American boy for quite a while. That night as I tucked him in, he brought up something funny his new friend had said.

I wanted to see how he would describe his new friend to me, so I said, “I think I saw you with your friend. What did he look like?” He thought for a second and then said… “Hmmmm… Friendly?”

I saw an African-American boy. Zach saw a friendly boy.

He must look like his dad.

 

Rhonda Kaplan
Hyde Park, MA

I’m sorry for submitting another race card, but I figured out how to make the same statement more elegant in six words. We are a multiracial family–I am white and my husband is black and Asian. When my son was a baby, (white) people would often make this comment to me. This comment meant a number of things: 1. a fishing expedition, a way of asking “what is he?”; a denial that this blue-eyed, white-skinned woman could birth a brown-skinned, black-eyed baby; a level of discomfort that my son and I don’t “match.”

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