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A Southern Belle? No. Korean husband.

korean soutern belleLeah Lee (now Leah Durst-Lee),
Chicago, IL.

Keeping cultural heritage is very important to me, so when I married my husband, Sihyun Lee, I wanted our kids to have a Korean surname. Our first year and a half of marriage, I took my husband’s name and became ‘Leah Lee.’ It was awful! Almost everyone I introduced myself to stifled a laugh and proceeded to ask me something about the American South. My mom is a Californian and I am from Iowa, so naturally I couldn’t speak to anything ‘Southern.’ Once people grew to know me more, many insisted on a nickname of ‘LeahLee’ slurred together in a Southern drawl. Needless to say, I recently hyphenated my name and haven’t received a single new Southern belle quip.

“A black married mother, who works”

Rita,
Slidell, LA

I chose a black married mother, who works because I am. A lot of people do not know what it is like to be married and be able to juggle a job while having kids. I am law-enforcement so that is a very stressful job. Not to mention I am in college full-time which is another stressful job and I am a mother of five kids, which is the most stressful part of all so being a wife on top of all of that just makes it a little bit harder because you have to maintain my household for your family on top of everything else.

My children jumpstarted my racial identity.

Johnny,
Concord, MA.

As a gay Asian man married to a white man with two adopted children of color (one black, one Latino), I came to understand my own racial identity trough the experience of welcoming our two children into our family. It’s taught me that to really provide a strong racial identity for my children, parents need to do the work themselves–including white parents.

Bridge across cultures: our reconciliation, salvation

Ned Reese,
Onalaska, WI.

Other potential submissions:
1) Hunka (Dakota adoptee) by/for whom,
2) immigrants all: borders–when, where, why?,
3) Coming home–whose space? 4) Left out–I’m in, who’s out?

I’m a white male, 69 yrs. old, married to a Hochunk, Indigenous woman, with five Hochunk daughters. As Hunka (adopted) Dakota (Ally), I have found a place within a Dakota community. No formal ceremony confirmed my “place”; rather, I was informed after years of participation, you adopted us; “you hung around and hung around until you became hunka…”

We (whites especially) need more than ever to help build the bridges. Many of our non-white brothers, sisters, relatives have been building the bridges–“since we arrived…” It is passed time for us to reciprocate. Thank you for offering one small, but meaningful, mechanism for such bridge building.

An additional thought: my daughter is constructing a bridge as part of her class project for an introductory engineering course at college. She and her classmates will present their joint project to the class; then the professor will perform a strength/stress test to determine the effectiveness of their creation. Wouldn’t it be outstanding if we as a nation and culture provided opportunities for such creative and innovative gestures and projects among our students and citizens regarding “bridge building across cultures”!? What are the constructs, materials, strengths and short comings of our proposed “bridge constructions” across cultures, generations and life experiences…? And how might we measure, evaluate and impliment such constructions? Innovation in interpersonal relationships and community building remains our best hope for a peaceful, sustainable and positive future for our children, grandchildren and for global peace and prosperity.

Ashamed that my white privilege stifles others

1928799_56052299993_2210_nSuzanne Rogers,
Sherwood, AR.

I was born with white privilege. I didn’t know true racism until I was married. I didn’t know that supposedly “good” people could be blatant racists. I learned my own white privilege wasn’t because my parents went to college and worked hard. It was simply because they were white. No one looks at me and wonders if I will hurt them. No one shuts or locks their door when they see me. Never has a gun ever been pulled on me during a traffic stop.

Does Race Matter???

Mari Bailey
Temecula, CA

I am Japanese. I married to American man. However, when I tell people that Im married, people ask if Im married to Japanese guy. I answer, ‘no Im married to American guy.” well….that is not enough for some people. Those people have to know which Ethnicity he is, DOES IT MATTER? American is American! Why do people have to specify what kind of American?! Same with school system! Why do they need to ask kid’s ethnicity? Do they have different teaching methods to different kids??? Why can’t we all be just American?!
CBU HIS311

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