Barb Cohan-Saavedra
Philadelphia, PA

I am of eastern European ancestry. My husband is Mexican. We live in a large city where racism is a bit less overt than in less urban areas. While visiting friends in Arizona, we went to a party where we knew only the couple that had brought us. I was helping in the kitchen and one of the women commented on my husband’s good looks. I told her that he was a wonderful man with a good heart and that his good looks were just a bonus, that I was glad to have married him. Everyone stopped and stared. Finally, one woman turned to me and said, “honey, you’re just supposed to f*** them, not marry them”!!! They all roared with laughter. I was speechless, aghast. I left the house, enraged at their bigotry and angry at myself for not having challenged them. I rejoined my husband outside, where he was chatting with our hosts. I never told him what had happened, but I told our friends after we had returned home. They told me that many of those people had retired to Arizona to live among bigots like themselves. I had never before confronted such ugliness and insensitivity. It taught me that, as a nation, we really are not yet civilized. I don’t know if we ever will be with ignorance and bigotry so deeply engrained. It’s depressing.