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Stop asking to touch his hair

Jeanine Flier,
Tujunga, CA.

I am a mother of 3 multiracial children. They all have different types of hair. My oldest son has a very curly large beautiful Afro . My middle child as wavy thick hair similar to mine. My youngest child has large black curls. My oldest child is the ONLY ONE WHO WHITE PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY COME UP TO AND SSK IF THEY CAN TOUCH HIS HAIR. WHY?? It is racist and belittling and they don’t even realize they are doing it. Recently he starred in a production of the crucible. Even though there were two judges my child was the only judge that has to cover his hair with a wig. An example of white privilege these people never give a thought of how offensive their actions are. My child is not an animal to be petted, and his Afro is not something to be erased as you are trying to do with his identity.

Three months more, would they ask?

Nina Martin
Phoenix, AZ

I am quietly proud of my multiracial background: my mother is Chinese, and my father is half German, half American. I also look absolutely nothing like my mother, save for straight hair and slightly tanner skin. While never a negative issue, this has led to some interesting situations since the time I was little: being the only “white” person in family photos among my Chinese cousins; having a substitute call another, Asian girl when my mother came to pick me up from school; my mother joking that people would think she was the nanny, or I was adopted.

I was also born three months premature, and for a while I have wondered what those three months would have given me. Would I look more “Asian” ? Would people no longer puzzle over my face, and ask me almost instantly “What are you” ? Would Cantonese flow off my tongue like water, rather than bricks as it does now?

Would I still feel the same?

To some degree, my childhood was filled with ambiguity. I knew our family was different, that I was different, and that was OK, but it becomes even harder to figure out who you are when you sit in the gray regions between two worlds. But it is the very lack of definition that has given me the freedom to explore exactly who I am, and also gives me the perspective to look at people who are different from me and find the common threads.

Those three months didn’t take anything away from me: they gave me who I am today. I chose my career in public health because I can help bring longer, healthier lives to people across the world; I fight to make a difference now because I came into this world fighting.

PROUD FATHER OF MULTIRACIAL CHILDREN.

David Reising,
Peoria, IL

My first wife and I adopted 2 bi-racial boys in ’69, a girl in 71 and another girl in ’74, Had a biological boy in ’79 and a biological girl in ’84. Lived a nice quiet life until the boys started school, and quickly learned that the primarily white school wasn’t ready for an infusion of children of color. So, we moved to a more diverse neighborhood and new schools. About 6 years, life was good. Then, as the girls got into the pre-teen years, we found that they were never invited to share in birthday events with their classmates. So, we changed schools. It was a very good decision for the girls. Their classrooms were very diverse and life got back to “normal” so to speak.
As the children grew, matured, and entered into their adult lives, and started having our grandchildren, we were overjoyed.
In 2004, my first wife passed away from a heart condition. In 2008, I remarried and my present wife has embraced all my children and grandchildren with open arms and cares for them deeply.
We are now both in our 70’s and can look back and the journey we both were on and consider ourselves especially blessed by the love we feel in the family and have frequent gatherings to share the events of all members of the group.
D. Reising.

Exotic for a black girl

Photo-on-11-13-14-at-12.54-PMJasmin Fortune,
Temecula, CA.

I am a multiracial girl who has bullied for the way I looked from K-12. I have been hated because girls thought their boyfriends liked me. I would be threatened to get jumped because they thought I thought of myself as better than them. Black girls never liked me because I was lightskin with long hair and when I cut my hair, they still disliked me because my hair was curly. I had more white friends than black or hispanic because they accepted me not based on my looks, but on common interest. I only accepted because people think I am exotic. I have been told all my life that I look Brazilian or I am so pretty for a black girl. I wish people didn’t care so much about race. I wished people cared more about the inside of someone’s heart than if someone is black or not. We are more than our skin color and texture of our hair.

What nationality are you anyway?

20160910_153303Kristina,
Zion, IL.

I’m multiracial, which caused an identity crisis in my teens. I was never enough of one race or the other to really fit in with anyone. So, I decided to just be myself. I can love all my ethnicities, and the people who were meant to love me understand that.

Racially inclusive only when conveniently beneficial

Zensaku,
Japan

As a multiracial person, I find that the majority of people from your background will lay claim to a person who does good for that “race”. Win a medal and you are “one of ours”. Commit a crime or struggle as an immigrant and you are “from the other race”. Hence my race card.

People never guess my race correctly

Lara Jean DeShayes,
Oakland, CA.

I was born in Olongapo Philippines to a Filipina mom and French-American Naval seaman. In Oakland, I’m often assumed to be Latina or Hispanic but as I’ve travelled around the world, people often mistaken me for someone of their own race: Turkish in Istanbul, Greek in Athens, Italian in Naples, Catalonian in Barcelona. In the world of multiracialness growing, I find it odd for people to assume what race you are by looks. Why not just ask?

Finally I learned to accept myself

IMG_0499Katherine Porter,
San Leandro, CA.

I grew up disowned by my racial cultures…too different from White, too different from Chinese. Talked about by cousins, wondered about by strangers, eroticized by college boys, and discounted by the census. Always had to check “other” on the surveys. Felt like I had to be the best example of whatever someone thought I was – East Indian, Portuguese, Puerto Rican, Greek, East Asian, Native American, Persian…whatever – but only felt accepted when visiting Hawaii…because I looked like the people there. But I’ve always had to find a path to see myself as valuable… it has been a journey of turning away from common labels and roles because I didn’t fit. I finally learned to accept myself as beautiful and unique. Now I try to teach my daughter the same thing as she struggles with her “difference” of being multiracial.

Mixed and feeling like I’m voiceless.

Charlie J.,
Honolulu, HI.

People who are mixed race (and identify with both/all sides of their heritage) are expected to sit quietly in a corner while white people and poc duke it out. For example, I’m always ‘too white’ or ‘too hispanic’ to have an opinion when racist things are being said around me, and it makes me feel like I’m a sellout when I try to argue against whatever the popular opinion is that day. There are a lot of multiracial individuals have a foot in both worlds, where they can see the good and bad in both sides of the argument, but no one wants to hear them. I’ve seen fights about white privilege and reverse racism in the comments section of blog posts, but the second that someone says, “Hey! I’m mixed. I don’t 100% agree with any of you but I do agree with a few key points from either side, here’s why… ” it’s largely ignored. I hope that multiracial people gain more visibility soon, because our voices deserve to be taken as seriously as any monoracial person’s does.

I cannot choose just one race

Jade Pritchett,
Port St. Lucie, FL.

Growing up, I never understood how I was supposed to chose a bubble, check a box, pick one race. I am multiracial, and proud of it. Teachers would tell me to choose the one that I “feel”. Does that mean that I can’t feel them all? When I grew up, and went to get a drivers license, they said if I have any African American in me I have to choose that. How can someone tell me that I have to choose one, identify with one, be one? It’s ignorant to think that every single part of my racial heritage doesn’t have an impact on me, and that someone else gets to decide that we have to ignore a part of ourselves.

Multiracial: Acknowledge Every Part Of Me

Kayci Baldwin
Cambridge, MA

For more than 7 years I have worked as a Multiracial advocate with Project RACE and Project RACE Teen. One of the main goals of this work has been the appropriate inclusion of Multiracial people on any forms that require racial identification. Ultimately, my goal is to eliminate the resilient “or” from conversations regarding the identity of Multiracial Americans, allowing them to identify with every part of their heritage and to celebrate all of who they are.

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