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Ni de aquí, ni de allá

Ana Rodríguez,
Wayne State,
Antioch, IL

Selena’s dad explained it best in his monologue where he talks about how tough it is to be Mexican-American. He goes on to explain that, “Anglos jump all over you if you don’t speak English perfectly and Mexicans jump all over you if you don’t speak Spanish perfectly…We have to be twice as perfect as anyone else…We have to know about John Wayne and Pedro Infante…We have to know about Frank Sinatra AND Agustin Lara…We have to know about Oprah AND Cristina…Anglo food is too bland and yet we go to Mexico and we get the runs…Japanese-Americans, Italian-Americans, German-Americans, their homeland is on the other side of the ocean…OURS is right next door. Right over there…And we gotta prove the Americans how American we are… And we gotta prove to the Mexicans how Mexican we are… We gotta be more American than the Americans and more Mexican than the Mexicans…BOTH at the same time! Its EXHAUSTING!”

You’re not from here, are you?

Rachel Butler,
Japan.

I’m from Virginia, from a primarily white town. I went to a pretty white high school, but had a mixed group of friends all the same. I went to the University of Nebraska, which isn’t known for any great ethnic diversity, but it was welcoming to all. I was a collegiate track and field athlete and therefore tended to be surrounded by a mixture of races, which always seemed completely natural to me. Then, a little over a year ago, I came to Japan.
Never before had I stood out so much. Not even in high school when I had flaming red hair! I couldn’t (and still can’t) go to the supermarket without someone commenting on the size of my face (it’s small), the length of my legs (they are long), or the whiteness of my skin (I’m pasty). It was the strangest feeling to be so noticed.

When I went back to the US to visit my family, I was almost disappointed because I was just “regular” again. At the same time, I realized that I always sort of looked at other people in the US as American. I think perhaps most of us do. Because it’s such a diverse country, I think we usually assume a few things when we see first someone, even if they look a lot different from ourselves: 1) They speak English, 2) they have lived in the US forever and 3) probably so did their grandparents. I actually feel like these are complimentary assumptions because they decrease the barriers between us. In Japan, it’s generally assumed that anyone who doesn’t look Japanese probably can’t speak Japanese, thus throwing up a barrier before even speaking to the person. It will probably always be impossible for me to blend in, even if I want to.
I like that it’s hard to put a single face on “American.” We’re lots of colors, lots of sizes, and speak lots of languages. Any face can be American, and that’s something of which we should be proud.

Not from here, nor from there.

Maria Sefchick,
Seattle, WA

My father is American, my mother Mexican. I was born in the US, went to live in Mexico when I was 8 and returned to the US when I was 39. My kids were born in Mexico, first language Spanish. First time I heard Hispanic as an ethnic label I was in the US. In Mexico I was called a “gringa”, here I am “Hispanic”. “Ni de aqui, ni de alla” is a common phrase in Spanish which means I do not feel I belong anywhere. I feel more comfortable when I am with people of “color” although in Mexico I was considered white. Being privileged in Mexico it was a culture shock to be discriminated here and find that I am part of the underrepresented and underserved minority. I have faced discrimination, mostly unintentional intolerance by “nice people” reacting to unconscious bias. For example I have been told by my white male colleagues “you know you only got your job because you are Hispanic” or what should I call you people? Hispanic or Latino? or my favorite at University where 80% of the staff is made up of white males: “we are just worried you people will take our jobs”. I love many of the opportunities my children and I have enjoyed in the USA but I am shocked at number of poor people and the belief that we all have the same opportunities in this country. I work in a community college striving to increase access for all and awareness that there is such a thing as white privilege, racism is alive and well and that equity and justice must be worked for.

Not from here, not from there.

image23Adriana Caicedo Hart ,
Indian Trail, NC.

I was born in Colombia, I came to USA in 2003. My physical features, my accent and my skin color say I am not born in American, they say I belong to a different culture; but when I go back to my home country for a visit, I find myself not fitting anymore, even though I have kept my cultural values, it is hard to act like I used to. My friends and family see me in a different way, I live between two worlds. I have a son, my dream is for him to be able to love my culture and my native language as much as I do.

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