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My children won’t rob you

image31Shamica,
Oklahoma City, OK.

I never knew that becoming a mom would be different based on race. I was raised on military bases, everyone got along. I knew that people could be racist but I never really experienced it. I was . . . naive. Then I married my husband, at a young age, then we had kids. I realized quickly that a good amount of people assumed I was a single mom or teen mom, when the truth is I valued my body enough that I saved myself for my husband. As my kids grew and we decided to have a larger family, I would be asked random questions like “Do they have the same father?”. But the worst was listening to my 8 year old daughter ask me why a little boy at church called her a mudface. Or when she became a teenager and was told by another teen that a certain boy wouldn’t think she was pretty because she’s black. Or how about the fact that I have to tell my boys not to wear hoodies in public, because someone may think they look suspicious. When truly they are just cold. I don’t mind raising my children to be respectful people and productive members of society, that has always been my goal. I mind that I have to worry if someone will shoot my honor student because they “fit the profile”.

When does the guilt go away?

Laura S,
BARTLESVILLE, OK

I have 4 “biracial” children. I am a white mom. I have raised my children black because society will never give them a “pass” because they have a white mom. The cops? See my kids black. The shopkeeper? Again see my kids as black.
In a Trump world, the guilt that I did this to my kids when I could have had white kids. The struggles they have and prejudice- I just wish I could make it go away. And I know that when they are called the N word, I could have prevented it for my kids.

Pacific Islanders are not Asian ok!

Luis David Garcia
Huntsville, TX

I am Mexican, my wife is Pacific Islander and our girls were born in Virginia and Texas. My girls are the minority among minorities and yet are lumped together with the largest population in the planet (Asian/Pacific Islander). Now try to tell my Chamorro wife that she is Chinese and you are up for an interesting conversation.

Me? All-American mutt. That’s enough.

Brad Boyer,
Lawton, OK

Why enough? At the deepest level, my conviction is that the same God with the same love made us all; therefore we are all equally valid and valuable. It appears to me that racism (and all other -isms) is a corruption of the normal human function to constantly filter the environment into safe/not safe, yummy/yucky, known/unknown, etc. It’s something like an emotional allergy that we warp into taking seriously, assigning meaning to the meaningless. Children hear a noise and “see” a monster; racism is this instinct gone wild. … But on a historical level, I can’t trace my ancestry that far; what limited information I have suggests that this is due to criminal activity and general low-life character that my more immediate ancestors wanted to forget. This leads me to conclude that sooner or later we all have totally embarrassing ancestors. That’s another false basis of racism, that somehow “my” family tree is purer or nobler than “yours”. Total baloney. Finally, I married a naturalized American from Japan. She’s very comfortable with her Japanese heritage, but she hates being called “Japanese-American”; she wants to be called just “American”. We’ve taken issue with some of our relatives who though well-meaning have told our kids, “Your daddy is American but your mommy is Japanese.” Our challenge is, “So ‘American’ only means one race, one color?”

Sorry, this AMERICAN sings it better.

559075_891092706401_306376251_nAaron Matthew Villalobos,
Norman, OK.

While I’m admittedly more apple pie than beans & rice, I have never felt my heritage as a Mexican-American detracted from my ability to honor my country with the gift god has given me–my voice.

I love singing our national anthem. I feel like it’s the biggest contribution I can personally give to my country–the Unites States of America. It’s the country my father has known his whole life. The country my grandfathers fought for in Europe and Southeast Asia, respectively. Even my great-grandparents called the New Mexico territory their home.

My connection to Mexico has to do more with how my last name sounds and where I grew up along the border than my national identity. Never in my wildest dreams would I think that any American would think less of me for singing our national hymn because I’m not a ‘Smith’ and I dont have blonde hair and blue eyes.

However, given the recent outpouring of ignorance and hate on social media following the performance of American patrotic anthems at major sporting events by incredibly-talented Hispanic-American singers, I can’t help but to think that somewhere in the stands, some poor misguided soul is thinking, “Why is that darn ‘beaner’ singing our song?”

I’m fortunate to have never had to address that issue in the past. Maybe it’s because my rendition moved them to tears. Maybe it’s because I tower over most folks at 6’5″. Either way, I’ll never apologize to anyone for honoring my country,

The only apology you’ll get from me:

“Sorry, this American sings it better.”

Me? All-American mutt. That’s enough.

Brad Boyer,
Lawton, OK

Why enough? At the deepest level, my conviction is that the same God with the same love made us all; therefore we are all equally valid and valuable. It appears to me that racism (and all other -isms) is a corruption of the normal human function to constantly filter the environment into safe/not safe, yummy/yucky, known/unknown, etc. It’s something like an emotional allergy that we warp into taking seriously, assigning meaning to the meaningless. Children hear a noise and “see” a monster; racism is this instinct gone wild. … But on a historical level, I can’t trace my ancestry that far; what limited information I have suggests that this is due to criminal activity and general low-life character that my more immediate ancestors wanted to forget. This leads me to conclude that sooner or later we all have totally embarrassing ancestors. That’s another false basis of racism, that somehow “my” family tree is purer or nobler than “yours”. Total baloney. Finally, I married a naturalized American from Japan. She’s very comfortable with her Japanese heritage, but she hates being called “Japanese-American”; she wants to be called just “American”. We’ve taken issue with some of our relatives who though well-meaning have told our kids, “Your daddy is American but your mommy is Japanese.” Our challenge is, “So ‘American’ only means one race, one color?”

Do you worry she’ll bomb you?

Abbey Gammill,
Lawton, Ok.

Im am from the south, and I have grown up listening to elders make racist comments. My mom and dad raised my brother and I to believe that everyone is equal. I never really had a personal encounter with a race issue until I moved into college. My roommates name is Ida and she is muslim. The fact that she was Muslim never has mattered to me, yet to my grandparents it apparently should. When I told them about my super awesome new friend they quickly asked what church she went to. After telling them she was Muslim my grandma asked “Is she a terrorist? Do you worry she’ll bomb you?”

Is the ticket together or separate?

Taylor Norman,
Norman, OK.

White man. Black woman. Two babies that look in between. People never really think before they speak when they see my family together. For some reason they can’t deduce that my mother is married to my father and my sister and I are their two girls. Instead their eyes only see color. Brown goes with brown so the children go with the woman and the man is on his own. This has always seemed to hurt my dad more than my mom. People look at him as the pervert. The thing in the puzzle that doesn’t belong. When I held his hand in public people whispered and the situation tensed but I never cared. Here’s to hoping that interracial couples will stop being an oddity so families can enjoy outings in peace and not have to make clear that, “Yes, the ticket is together.”

They think I am a girl

Roxie Tenequer,
Lawton, OK

My son begged me for two years to cut his hair. Kids at his school constantly teased him and told him he looked like a girl. I told him to ignore them and explained that not all people teach their children about different cultures. Things didn’t change and my son started begging me to cut his hair. We finally let him cut his hair after five years of having long beautiful braids. This broke my heart but my Son said he is treated better at school now. I hope this helps people understand to teach their children or anyone to learn about other race differences. I hope one day my Son will grown his hair again and never let others make him feel bad about who he is and where he came from.

I am me, do not panic.

James Eliot Griffith
Stillwater, OK

It’s irritating how in this day and age if I just tell someone I’m Mexican (which is the side of my family I identify with a bit more since I grew up on the border in South Texas) everyone is perfectly fine and its all cool. But if I happen to mention that I’m only half Mexican people start freaking out looking at me cross-eyed and asking which side of my family is white when my last name is Griffith. I mean really?! Strangely enough this was never actually an issue and no one cared until I moved to Oklahoma for college which is when I started noticing it. A college campus one of THE most multicultural areas in the state and people get freaked out by my being half and half. Its even worse when people refuse to believe my sisters and I are related since one of them is takes after our dad and is really pale. One old lady was convinced we were dating which left me feeling like I was gonna throw up. Jeez I’m sorry y’all somewhere along the way this turned into a rant guess I needed to vent a little thanks for your time everybody.

Are you Chinese or something?

image3 (4)Brigitte Dees,
Stillwater, OK.

Growing up half Japanese, Native American, and white in Oklahoma was a challenge. I don’t look like anyone else and people have reminded me of that my whole life. As an Asian girl I was expected to be quiet, studious, and polite. The reality is I have ADHD and dyslexia, which has never helped me be studious OR quiet! Having dyslexia hindered my math skills and I was always called a “stupid Asian” or a “worthless Asian” because I could never end up with the correct answer after spending twice the time on it. I guess all I can say is sorry for being different!

I don’t care about blacks anymore.

Paul Rojas,
Tulsa, OK.

I’m going to come out and say it…the same thing thousands, probably millions of people in this country are feeling, at this point.

I don’t care about black people’s problems anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I care very much for the black people I known personally. I care about them as people, as much as whites, Asians, Latinos, and every other human being on earth.

But I no longer care about the special set of issues that many black people hold so near and dear, and that seem to define them as a group…though thankfully, not as individuals.

I’m simply worn out with them. Exhausted by their constant demands, their neediness, their helplessness, their hypocrisy, their never ending problems, their inability to take advantage of the myriad opportunities practically delivered to them, their ungratefulness, their refusal to take responsibility for their own lives or accept the consequences of their actions.

I’ve just thrown in the towel. I can’t keep caring about problems that I obviously can’t do anything about. Especially when they have brought at least some of it on themselves, or when they won’t make the lifestyle changes necessary to succeed or to overcome or avoid their problems.

There comes a point, where I just quit listening. When racist graffiti is discovered on a college campus, or on a black person’s house, my reaction is no longer outrage, disgust, and sympathy for a victim of a hate crime. It’s outrage and disgust alright, and it comes a few days later when it is almost always revealed to be yet another racial hoax perpetrated by black people. I really don’t want to hear them tearfully recounting that heartrending moment when they “discovered” some mean white KKK member had snuck into their laundry room, completely unseen and invisible to video cameras, to scribble “Trump ’16” and “Die niggers” on the wall. At this point, I’ll turn the channel.

I applaud those who are successful, and overcome challenges, and I wish them well. But just like my white colleagues, if they make poor decisions, spend their money foolishly, refuse the free education available to them, have children they can’t afford, get involved in drugs and criminality, I have little sympathy. And I’m not likely to make an effort to be friendly with them or get to know them. I’ll be polite, but I don’t particularly care to associate with them, white or black.

I no longer excuse or rationalize violence, criminality, laziness, indolence, careless babymaking, willful dependency or degeneracy among blacks, any more than I do with whites. If you’re a thief who doesn’t support his child, and spends his days drinking and whining about how his life sucks, your black skin doesn’t get you a pass from me. You’re just as much of a piece of garbage as your fellow white bum. Doesn’t equality feel good?

Perhaps it’s the hyper-sensitivity, the arrogant and unabashed racism toward other races, and the self-entitlement. Could be the willingness to drop everything to riot, loot, burn and destroy personal and public property, menace, threaten and physically attack innocent white people. Or the propensity towards cowardly mob attacks on vulnerable whites, especially the elderly, women, any white person they catch alone and defenseless.

70 years ago or more, white men did beat up or occasionally murder blacks they suspected of wrongdoing…just as they did to other whites who “needed killin'”. Vigilante “justice” was an injustice, nobody argues the point. It was wrong, and the civil rights era exposed these as shameful and reprehensible acts. Black and whites marched together and lobbied their political leaders to put a stop to racial injustice, to shame those guilty of racism, and to codify and enforce equal rights for all. A noble and righteous cause, one which was long overdue.

But here it is 50 years later, the president, attorney general, and a disproportionate percentage of the top government executives are black. The mayors, commissioners, police chiefs, and other local adminstrators in most, if not all, major cities are also black. Black Run America has not brought prosperity to its constituents, rather, its Democratic policies, programs and spending have driven once majestic and prosperous cities into bankruptcy, decay and abandonment.

I just can’t bring myself to feel for the people who scrawl vulgar graffiti on the sides of stately brownstones, or who break the subtly rippled glass that a craftsman, white or black, had carefully glazed in an ornate linteled window a hundred thirty years ago. There’s no part of me that yearns to reach out to people throwing garbage onto what had been a tidy, manicured patch of decorative greenery flanking a grand marble entrance with exquisitely carved doors. I just don’t have it in me, anymore. I do wonder what has become of the respectable, genteel families who were displaced by the social engineering policies of the New Deal, leaving their architectural legacy to the ravages of neglect and deliberate defacement.

I’ve left the “dialogue”, which turned out to be nothing more than a one-sided, accusatory tirade, berating me for unspecified harm I am to bear responsibility for, and denying me the right to respond with my own, civil point of view. There’s simply no point having “the conversation” any longer. You smugly assert that I have no right to my views because I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be black. Yet you claim in the same breath, to be the arbiter, the expert on my own race, and therefore I have no right to speak for myself. So, have your own “dialogue” with yourself. I’m out.

No matter what I do, no matter what I say, you say my whiteness makes me racist. So there is no longer any point in considering it. Fine, you say I’m “racist”. I don’t care anymore.

I’m sure there are those who will say in rebuttal that they are “tired of” being the victims of racism every walking minute of their lives. And to this, I say…”Ok, I am willing to accept that you are being victimized by the inherent racism absorbed by simply being in proximity to white people. But you must accept that my response will be to avoid you, and to decline to involve myself in your issues, lest my whiteness somehow damage you further.”

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