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Shouldn’t be issue. But guess what…?

BJ Lynn,
Redondo Beach, CA.

My household is multi-ethnic. Racial awareness is not by necessity racism, but the line between is thin. A PhD in our extended family observed that in a multi-ethnic culture, the majority cannot help being racist. There my be no evil intent and there my be good strong bridges but the divide is always present. What defines the individual is how that person embraces the differences. With love, there is possibility.

“Where are you from?” – “Boston.” -” Liar!”

Lex,
Syracuse, NY.

I’m originated from Shanghai, China, currently doing a PhD at Syracuse University. Unavoidably, I have been welcomed with the question “where are you from” on a daily basis. It seems that not many people actually cares about the real answer: Shanghai — people generally don’t care about that corner of the globe –they only want to confirm their observation that I am a foreign alien. So, sometimes, I’d like to give false answer to see different reactions. At a recent house party, a half-drunk guy approached me and asked me THE question. I said I am from Boston. He then yelled at me and called me a liar.

Their house smells like anyone else’s

Steve Llanso,
USA

Pretty white and wholly ignorant, isn’t it?
Here’s the back story: I grew up in the ’50s and 60s in northern New Jersey in a town where all the black families lived on one road. There were three black students in a graduating class of 250 students, two of whom I knew from music and both of whom signed my yearbook.
My family’s attitude toward equal rights for “Negros” (not coloreds or worse) and race relations was classically liberal and tolerant. I had started reading memoirs like Claude Brown’s Manchild in the Promise Land and histories such as Lerone Bennett’s Before the Mayflower in high school. But I had no illusions about my “understanding” what it was to be a Negro in America.
The tiny college I went to in Illinois had 350 students, of which two were roommates and classmates. One showed me the “soul brother” handshake, proved to be worse at basketball than I was, and had fun with me and our tutor in an English class. The other was bi-racial and almost deaf. He and I had to concentrate on watching the other’s face when talking and enjoyed the exchanges. (He later earned a PhD in Math.)
After my first year of college, I got a job driving for a take-out fried chicken place. Yes, breaded chicken and French fries. Phone-in orders sent me everywhere within about a 10-mile radius of the store. One night I saw that I had an order for the road in my home town that I recognized as the black section. As I drove there, I didn’t think about the fried chicken stereotype or anything other than I had NO idea what kind of house I’d be delivering to.
I parked in front and knocked on the door or rang the door bell (don’t remember which). A resident (male or female, I don’t remember) let me in and had me stand in the entryway as they went off to get the payment. As I waited, I glanced at the small, tidy living room.
And then the thought hit me: “Their house smells like anyone else’s”. That comment stayed in my mind’s front-and-center section all the way back to the chicken store. What had I meant by it? Had I really carried that
Don’t think of it as an epiphany, think of it as a reorientation, a tug on preconceptions I didn’t know I had. It would be years before I studied with or worked with or even commuted with persons of all colors. Still later before I formed friendships. But it may have been that night delivering chicken that started expanding the spectrum of my awareness beyond the “white-light” band I typically lived in.

Only Black in office. Very Isolating

Ursie Bankhead,
Buffalo, NY.

I have a PhD, have studied race issues. And still struggle in my workplace. Mostly within my own department. I have support from several friends of various races/ethnicities/backgrounds, etc. But, it is difficult at times being “the only” and to experience microinvalidations during staff meetings or to end up in a “conversation” later. Minority staff routinely leave my department (as well as others!). It is quite isolating– at times frustrating. And VERY sad that the “leaders” cannot understand their own biases or privelege.

Men I love aren’t safe here

Arlinda Vaughn,
Dayton, OH.

My partner is a tall, dark muscular black man (with a PHD). When he lived in Texas, the police arrived at a gas station that he was in and tased him 8 times without warning or discussion. My brother (with a degree) has been regularly pulled over. Once, a police officer pulled him over, handcuffed him and put him in the back of his cruiser. Then he searched everywhere for any possible warrant or person whose “description he fit”. In the end, he let him go after about 45 minutes. My brother has never had more than a speeding ticket. When he was pulled over, he was not speeding or violating any traffic rules whatsoever. My cousin (who is a veteran) was pulled over by a city cop on the bridge in St. Louis, MO. It was outside of that cop’s jurisdiction so he had to call the Illinois police so that they could search his car. He had nothing. They found nothing, but they had a gun trained on him nonetheless. I truly feel that there is absolutely nothing that a black man in this nation can do to be safe. If they comply, if they resist, if they are polite, if they are rude… all are irrelevant, because if a policeman has it in his mind that they are criminals, then he will treat them like criminals. No black man in this nation has escaped this treatment. I have serious discussions with my extended family and my partner to move to Canada. The powers-that-be don’t want us here anyway.

Challenging the knowledge has no age

HydeHugo Santos,
Auburn, AL.

I am a literature professor in Brazil and after completing 40 years of age, I’ve decided to come to United States and attend a PhD program. If a program of this importance is already quite challenging, it becomes even more challenging when it is done in a second language, especially if you are a Latin person. So, next time you see any international student before you, embrace him/her, praise him/her and exalt the fact that he/she has decided to do this. Imagine yourself doing a graduate program in a language that is not yours.

Try a white guy next time

Kay Perrin, PhD
Tampa, FL

In 1983, we adopted a black 8-week old baby boy in Tampa, Florida. At the time, we had a biological boy, age 3 years. I would frequently take my older son to preschool and then run errands with my newly adopted black son. Twice, complete strangers would walk by me in the grocery store and say “try a white guy next time.” This was the beginning of learning what to expect from raising my white son and my black son in the south. Another example was having both children in the grocery cart and having someone ask if my children had the same father. I quickly learned to find humor and blessings in these situations.

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