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By protecting her, I’m oppressing her.

aaliyah_rcpAdrienne Kern,
Keller, TX.

My daughter was two weeks from turning one on September 11, 2001. She is one of them. An Arab (pronounced with a Texas drawl: A-Rab). A camel jockey. A rag head. She is Turkish and Saudi and Egyptian. She is not white like me, her mother, who is also mixed race. Far from Aryan.

When those people killed our people, I automatically went into that maternal protection mode where assumptions are borne. I assumed people would be cruel, and so said cruelty was magnified. I heard an elderly man say, “nuke ‘em all.” But I did not hear his wife say, “But most are innocent.” I heard a co-worker call my daughter Osama’s niece. But I did not hear my boss call her beautiful.
A few weeks ago two boys killed and maimed our people again. I wrote on my social networking site that extremists taint all religions. Islam was not the problem, you see, because mental illness and hatred cannot be classified unto a specific belief system. Or race. My daughter is not Muslim, but still it was my duty to defend her.

This Sunday, as my husband baptized our daughter, this beautiful brown-eyed child of God, Allah, Yahweh, I suddenly had an epiphany. She does not need me to protect her. By protecting her, I am only amplifying the prejudice that I fear. I realized that, by defending my daughter’s Arab bloodline, I am the only one oppressing her.

How to protect my black son?

41496_100000657735231_6635_nMichael Bolton ,
Scottsdale, AZ.

Understanding Race Project- University of Michigan

Dad Caucasian. lived life in black neighborhood mostly. studied black history–college+leisure. love black culture esp music, classic jazz. slave narratives. am black myself but cannot pass as such. other dad, my partner, black, died. am now single dad, not planned. bringing up son in white priviledged neighborhood. not me, not him, we’re poor, but we’re here. avoiding ‘young black males’=main cause of death for ‘young black males’. life so cheap for ‘young black males’. not *my* son. i miss diversity.

Hated for being a white cop.

Brett Maisel
Nacogdoches, TX

As a young, naive police officer I mistakenly thought most people would appreciate my sincere desire to help and protect the citizens of my community. I was shocked to find out that some people (who didn’t even know my name, background or what was in my heart) hated the very sight of me only because I was a white police officer.

How do I protect my kids?

Michele Kacmarcik Savin
Wilmington, DE

When I listened to the report on Wednesday I ached for my daughter… whose birth mother, my husbands first wife, was adopted from Korea. She was teased on the bus as a first grader, and told to go back where she came from… which was Wilmington Delaware! I never imagined we would have to deal with that so early! She looks nothing like her blond haired blue eyed father who was raising her as a single dad when I met them. I have been mom since she was two, and legally adopted her. The assumptions people make are enormous… people would stop me in the grocery store to tell me all about their overseas adoption journeys… when we moved into our current home the neighbors thought my husband so wonderful to have married a single mom with an adopted daughter! But for her when I was pregnant with her brother she hoped for a baby that looked just like her… not possible as I am also blond haired and blue eyed. I look every day for similarities.. and love to point out things that are unique to the two of them .. and their father! The irony of course is that I worry about my white son too… he will be a minority when he grows up… and will also be judged… on history he did not contribute to.

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