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The real fear of a black parent

Belinda Gilmore,
Maceo, KY

It was early 2016, and I was on the phone talking to a friend I had not seen in a while. We were discussing life since she had to leave work due to a health issue. We both have a son the same age that would graduate high school in August. She was telling me about her son and how he was working because he had just gotten his first car. She went on to tell me that he has some new friends that live in the next town over, but she was afraid for him to go there (she lives in Breckinridge Country, Kentucky). I was confused, so I asked her why. She told me about some Klan activity that had taken place in the area before. I proceeded to question her fear. I acknowledged that there were still equality issues, but in the last decade the country had come so far. I went on to point out that we have a black president which I never thought would happen earlier in life. She stood firm and told me I just don’t understand. I didn’t.
The 2016 election campaign began. As a society, we are all attached in some way through social media. I only used Facebook to stay connected with family. I began to see so much hate being shared. I stopped opening it completely. I would only access Twitter because you are not required to follow certain individuals. Violence was coming to light more than I ever remember previously mainly toward black people but not limited to them. Then the election happened, and people quit being politically correct which brought me to the realization of how many people were before. I naively thought society was truly changing. I thought of my friend and all the things she will fear that I will never have to. I called my friend one day late in the year. Before we got too far into the conversation, I got a bit emotional and said, “I need to apologize to you,”

Stop asking if my hair’s real.

Michelle Ross,
Fort Worth, TX

I’ve always had really long hair and I attest it to my Native American heritage. But I’m so tired of the side comments like your hair is long for a black girl so you must be mixed. No way that’s yours it must be tracts or extensions. People would go to the extent of tugging on my hair to see if it was real. Growing up my mother did hair as a side hustle and she always instilled in us that even with wigs if it’s on their head than it’s there hair and also it’s really no one’s business if your hair is real or not. Over the years I’ve come to see that when people don’t have anything else to worry about they start worrying about other peoples business. When I was little I tried to cut my own hair I remember being 5 years old telling my ,other I didn’t ask for this. I also don’t like how in my culture people have coined that phrase “good hair” I don’t think there’s good hair or bad hair it’s just hair. I remember telling my mom when I was 15 cut it all off. The. I remember during the pandemic I cut it super short it was so freeing and my mom didn’t really care for the look and she promised me to never cut it again. I’ve kept my promise but I hope to never have long hair again because people never believed it was mine anyways.

Kofi is a fake white man!

Playboy-Jazz-Festival-2013-1fakeKofi M. G. W. Opantiri,
Los Angeles, CA.

I am the eldest child of two boys and a girl born to an American-African father and a French-Canadian (white) mother. Born in New York City in 1949, the “one-drop” rule informed me early on that I was Negro and colored. Like millions of American-Africans, I became black in the late 1960s as well as Afro-American and African-American later on. Nowadays, I am black, American-African and African.

During a break at work one day, the conversation dwelt briefly on my being an American-African that looked white. At one point, with her infectious laugh, one of the ladies stated, “Awww, Kofi is just a fake white man.” I smile every time I think of that moment.

The photo is of me, my daughter, step-son and daughter-in-law.

Your family isn’t your “real” family

205961_269253959754124_6583323_nAnonymous,
Des Moiones, IA.
Drake University

This is what my mom was told in 1954 when social services came into her home and removed her and all of her siblings from her mom. At that time they were truly poor and were having a hard time finding enough food to eat. Her mother had a dysfunctional relationship with her husband and her younger children did have different fathers. My mom’s father was black. All of her older siblings were white and her two youngest siblings had a hispanic father. My mom did not realize that she was racially different from her siblings until the State of Iowa told her “that they were going to find her real family”. Four of her siblings were able to stay together the twins were adopted by family and her two brothers directly under her were adopted together. Over time, my grandmother did regain custody of three of the 8 children that were taken by the state once she married the hispanic man who was the father of her two youngest children. My mom however, was in an orphanage waiting for her real family. She did have occasional visits with her family until she was sent to live with the THomas Family who were and respectable, and black. My mom did not know that her siblings missed never stopped looking for their sister. It took 40 years but in 1994 my mom was reunited with her “Real” Family.

Your family isn’t your “real” family

205961_269253959754124_6583323_nAnonymous,
Des Moiones, IA.
Drake University

This is what my mom was told in 1954 when social services came into her home and removed her and all of her siblings from her mom. At that time they were truly poor and were having a hard time finding enough food to eat. Her mother had a dysfunctional relationship with her husband and her younger children did have different fathers. My mom’s father was black. All of her older siblings were white and her two youngest siblings had a hispanic father. My mom did not realize that she was racially different from her siblings until the State of Iowa told her “that they were going to find her real family”. Four of her siblings were able to stay together the twins were adopted by family and her two brothers directly under her were adopted together. Over time, my grandmother did regain custody of three of the 8 children that were taken by the state once she married the hispanic man who was the father of her two youngest children. My mom however, was in an orphanage waiting for her real family. She did have occasional visits with her family until she was sent to live with the THomas Family who were and respectable, and black. My mom did not know that her siblings missed never stopped looking for their sister. It took 40 years but in 1994 my mom was reunited with her “Real” Family.

Privilege is real. I get it.

image25Eric Moore,
Anchorage, AK.

“I get it” cuts three ways. First, I understand this is true. Second, I am in most ways the example of a person who is privileged and this has brought me opportunities, second chances and more.
But Third can be an exasperated “I get it” because no matter the advantages I’ve enjoyed I’m still constantly faced with worries over the challenges I’m bound to face in the future. So privilege often doesn’t seem relevant in day-to-day life… and of course it’s a privilege that I can usually leave anything race-based off of my list of worries. So if “I get it,” it’s not that I don’t care. It’s more like “I’m uncomfortable but I don’t know what to do.”

Blacks Must Show ID To Exist

Patti Downing,
Kansas City, MO

Attended the Race Place & Diversity Symposium and luncheon yesterday. It was a fun and wonderful experience. If all of us REAL HUMANS black, brown, yellow, white (all) could unite into the Purple People Eaters the hate groups would disappear or have to move off “OUR PLANET”. WE ALL BETTER UNITE before another Trump blows into town!!!!!!

Difference between staying alive or dying

Isaiah Borders,
Kannapolis, NC

p>Race in America can be a life or death situation during some occasions. Racial injustice is 100% real and there’s a chance you could get racially profiled from the color of your skin. I chose to say “Difference between staying alive or dying” because, depending on what race you are is the difference from you being completely comfortable getting pulled over and having no problems with it or being scared for your life by just making eye contact with a police officer.

Race is fiction. Love is real.

Leah Hidenfelter,
Durham, NH

Race is a category made up to discriminate and distinguish against others. This is a false term to describe those from different backgrounds and communities. Society used this false term to create racism is our world today. Racism is real. However, so is love. Love is used around the world to eliminate the stigma that the idea of race has created. Love can combat with the fiction of the term race.

No real difference… know real difference

cleanJohn Everett,
Miami, FL.

same difference~
it should be more about
who i am
than what i am,
agree?
see, i could survive
being you
but could you exist
being me?
i’m hated and shunned
just for my skins’ hue
no matter what i say
it doesn’t matter what i do
but you lie in the sun
to darken your complexion
and acquire fuller features
with collagen injections
do you see the contradiction
the incongruity
you wont admit that you do
but i know that you see
our situation is different
from any other race’s claims
they fought and died to get here
we were brought here in chains
oppressed and depressed
whipped and hanged
literally and figuratively
and the scars remain
and you say forget it
it’s all in the past
but we’re still second class citizens
in a country built on our backs
but above all that
and this is what’s magnificent
we’re so much more alike
than we are different

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