rejected Archives - The Race Card Project

Your accent… Are you from here?

April 2, 2024April 2, 2024 accent, CA, English, Ivan Vazquez, rejected, Sacramento, Spanish, vocal chords, where are you from

Ivan Vazquez,
Sacramento, CA.

Although I was born and raised in San Diego, CA ; I grew up in a household that comprised of both the English and Spanish language, about 60% English and 40% Spanish. I am a child of second-generation immigrants and even though I received my entire education in English, I came to realize an accent was attached to my vocal chords. The ironic thing about it all, even when I was in Mexico among other Spanish speakers I received the same reaction and came to learn I also have an accent when I speak Spanish. I don’t necessarily feel rejected, however, on that same token I don’t really feel as I belong to either group…

Rejected because love is colorblind.

April 11, 2022April 11, 2022 bad, CA, colorbling, different, interracial dating, Long Beach, love, Orange County, Paula Morris, rejected, White girl

Paula Morris,
Long Beach, CA.

A white girl growing up in Orange County, CA, where I was anything and anyone “different” was “bad”, I have found love with two wonderful men in my life: the first one (who died) was African American, and the second one is African. The happiness both have brought me is too threatening for my family; my brother can barely stand to look at me.

My abuse was invisible because I’m white

May 9, 2021May 10, 2021 abuse, cage, fake kindness, hurt, Invisible, Jack, Materialism, MN, mom, privilege, rejected, SAINT PAUL, shame, suburban, suffocating, white

Jack,
Saint Paul, MN.

My mom is an expert in manipulation and fake kindness, always sounding kind to hurt and control and shame.
Because of rampant child discrimination across cultures, it was not hard for my mother to convince others that she was right, or to uphold the illusion of a happy “white suburban family”. For holidays, she would buy toys and tell my relatives to buy gifts she knew I hated. She built up lies about my identity, and when I got angry and rejected them all she said I was spoiled and arrogant.
Now I’ve moved out on my own, and am in a transitional living program. Although many people now understand my case better, I have experienced quite a few times the notion that my child abuse wasn’t as bad as black kids (it was mostly black people telling me this when they brought up race), that ‘white kids’ have it easy or treat their parents like shit or it’s the kid’s fault, that they have no problems and their families are too nice. People said I came from white privilege because my middle class over-abundant materialism was a suffocating cage used to control and destroy me. How is this privilege?

Successful, Black, Gay, a family’s shame…

April 26, 2021January 9, 2022 Black, black community, Columbus, crime, disappointment, Family, gay, Karim Ali, kids, OH, partner, rejected, shame, Successful

Karim Ali,
Columbus, OH.

I suppose I have been pondering my Race Card (TM) entry for a few months. When I read the comments of Michael Sam’s father (Michael Sam Sr.) about his disappointment in his son for being gay, I was nearly in tears, as it reminded me of my own coming out with my family (namely my parents) and among my larger family, my fellow Black Americans. Mr. Sam (Sr.) was disappointed in his only son to attend college and whom will likely have a very positive impact on his family and society. Similarly, many of the men in my extended family have been incarcerated, fathered fatherless kids, dabbled in drug addiction, and crime. I have been fortunate to have achieved the highest level of education in my family (MBA/JD), I am a partner at a large Ohio law firm, I volunteer extensively and mentor many young black youths/young professional, but I still sense the immense disappointment and judgment from many in the Black community in general, and from my father in particular. My 6 words captures my personal struggle with being Black and gay.

I’ve been influenced, I’ve been rejected

February 4, 2018February 4, 2018 CA, David Galaviz, influence, rejected, Watsonville

David Galaviz,
Watsonville, CA.

Metis: but you don’t know that.

September 1, 2017October 10, 2017 accepted, assume, Cincinnati, confused, criticized, defensive, don't know, insecure, Metis, OH, privileged, proud, rejected, USA, Victoria McCord, what are you, white-ish

Victoria McCord,
Cincinnati, OH.

Describing myself is always a challenge (in a USA context). I can’t check one simple box of who I am. I’m white. I’m also Metis – an indigenous tribe in Canada. Most people can’t recognize this, and I am flattered when some people can. It is uncomfortable when I tell someone I’m Metis and they try to tell me I’m not. Words I associate with my experience are: confused, privileged, insecure, defensive, accepted, rejected, and criticized.
Sometimes I don’t know how to feel about who I am, I’m often conflicted, but also proud.
People assume me to be something I’m not, such as because I’m white I’m racist, ect. My friend used the term “white-ish” to describe me. I am white(ish), but I’m not prejudiced.

Only been victimized by other whites.

December 1, 2015December 1, 2015 assaulted, Brooklyn, diverse, interracial dating, Michael Ponsler, mixed, NY, rejected, social life, victimized, whites

Michael Ponsler,
Brooklyn, NY.

I’ve enjoyed an extremely diverse social life, dated & married interracially and on countless occasions have been the only white person within a crowd, community or family gathering. I have never been harassed, harmed or threatened by a person of another race. However, I have been rejected, assaulted and/or threatened several times by one or more whites, not in every instance, but often as ‘punishment’ for my mixed race relationships.

Previouslly attractive, now obese. who changed?

March 19, 2015March 19, 2015 attractive, Barry Allen, Cedar Rapids, cigarettes, discrimination, gender, healthy, IA, obese, rejected, similar, smoking, think

Barry Allen,
Cedar Rapids, IA.

What I mean here is that when I was thin, (smoking cigarettes) doors were opened much more regularly & loneliness was not a problem. Now fat, (not smoking) the loneliness is at times unbearable. Am I not the same person? Obesity creates discrimination similar to that of racial or gender discrimination. By the way I exercise & eat healthy food, but have weighed the same for 8 months. Only halfway to desired weight, but still obese. Plateaus & rejections make it hard to stay with healthy habits.

Rejected or accepted: Race or not?

April 24, 2014 accepted, Affirmative Action, Alexandria, David Zetoony, Race, rejected, VA

David Zetoony
Alexandria, VA

When race is considered in a contest — whether its use is lawful or unlawful, ethical or unethical, motivated to equalize or motivated to discriminate, implicit or explicit, intentional or unintentional — it means that you never know the degree to which you won or lost based upon your merit. If you didn’t get selected was it because of racial discrimination not in your favor? Because another candidate received affirmative action in their favor? or because you were not the best qualified? If you did get selected was it because of latent discrimination in your favor? Latent discrimination against other canddiates? Affirmative action in your favor? or because you were the strongest?

Rejected couple’s stroll lasts 32 years

March 30, 2013 Ann Arbor, couple, MI, rejected, Steven W. Cornell, Thai, West Germany

Steven W. Cornell
Ann Arbor, MI

My pregnant Thai wife and I used to get disapproving looks and snyde comments when walking hand in hand exploring the streets of West Germany where I was working. We have now been married 32 years!

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