The Race Card Project
By Michele Norris
Emery Nicoletti,
Tucson, AZ.
As a business owner, I voiced hundred of my own commercials and also had a weekend radio show. When I would meet listeners in person, I often heard either, “I pictured you so different,” or, ‘You sound so white on the radio.” I imagine they probably had no idea that some people could take those comments as rude.
Addie,
Warrenton, VA
I mean, those six words sum me up in a very basic way, but they are true. Growing up majority-white smallish town in Virginia didn’t give me much of an outlook on other people, how they lived, and how their experiences differed from mine. I just lived in my middle-class bubble, full of ignorance. I’ve made many insensitive and just plain rude “jokes” or comments about other people regarding many things. I’m upset with myself for even once encouraging the idea that they were funny or okay even though deep down I knew that they weren’t. I think back and cringe. I honestly didn’t fully understand the main problems of race in America until recently. But I’m trying. I’m trying to educate myself on race, gender, class, etc., and how that affects people’s experiences growing up and living in our country. I’m trying to figure out how I can help shape our future to include and raise the people we have disadvantaged for so long. I’m trying; I hope it’s enough.
Hazel Kasgur,
Philadelphia, PA.
My dad is from Istanbul, Turkey. He works hard and tries to be helpful. At most of the jobs he’s had, people are rude to him. At most of the jobs he’s had, all the other employees are American and white. I think his coworkers are rude to him because he’s not American.
AJ,
Falls Church, VA.
I am a white American female with multiple disabilities. I realize that generally speaking, my whiteness and U.S. citizenship is a benefit for me in society. But recently, I had several experiences where a person of another race assumed something about me that was false, and it pissed me off. In the last case, a Doctor from some Asian country refused to prescribe me meds I desperately need. During the visit, I casually asked him where he was from (partly since I grew up in Asia and lived there as an adult). He never answered and used my question against me to suggest I was being prejudiced even though I have spent thousands of my own dollars and hours helping people from developing countries. I have had all kinds of health problems as a result of living in developing countries. I knew the risks involved in traveling to those places so I do not blame the citizens of those countries for my problems. But when I come back and some person who makes ten times the money I make in a year, plays the poor innocent victim and wants to portray me as the oppressor even though the opposite is true, it pisses me off. I am the one who is unemployed, disabled, and female. He is just Asian. Wow, that sounds like a real rough life.
A few weeks before that another woman told me “I crossed the line” when I asked her coworker if she had trouble understanding English. I was not attempting to be rude. I speak several languages and the woman would not answer my question which I had repeated several times, so I figured I would try to find out why. I did not want to assume she spoke Spanish or any other language because I felt that if I tried speaking to her Spanish, and she did not understand, she might become even more confused. After explaining my feelings, the woman who hurled the accusations at me finally said “Ok fine, it was a misunderstanding” and was nice.
But the Asian Doctor never said anything to suggest even the slightest bit of empathy. His actions made me feel totally distraught and disgusted. I do not consider myself any more or less racist than anyone else. I used to enjoy being around immigrants and people from other countries. Now I feel they have twisted my questions into something nefarious, and I wonder if this is a pattern I will see increasingly more perhaps as a result of backlash towards the politics of Donald Trump or maybe for some other reason. If so, I may start avoiding not just immigrants but people in general (since many if not people where I live are immigrants).
Black people aren’t who you think they Are…If they were I would be kicked out of my school. Like Martin Luther King jr said: “I Have a Dream! That one day little Black boys And White girls, and white boys and black girls could join together in peace and harmony…”, And yet probably only about 50% of people in the world fulfilled that dream for him. If Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t get killed and still was alive today, America would be a better place because He is the one who has made the claim and he would have stuck to it. Now that he is not here, the world is a Mad House. Almost everyone everywhere are being abusive to one another.
Black People aren’t who you think
Black People are not what you think…People think that black people are rude, mean, and selfish. But if you think about it…black people are not always bad… yes, sometimes they are in a group of people that are their gender, but that doesn’t mean they are in a gang group. Most of them are just friends hanging out. Most people think that when the black people get killed, it’s because they are bad. If they were bad, then every black person would be in jail. Like Martin Luther King jr. said, “If you can’t fly, then you can run. If you can’t run, then you can walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, Just keep moving forward!” Keep Moving forward means to me is that you have to put the past behind you, the bad stuff, and keep moving forward in life! So Listen to Martin Luther King Jr., and keep moving forward.
Brian Smith,
Sugar Land, TX.
Part of me wish I wasn’t racist. I did my best not to be like my parents when I was growing up, but as I grew up I kept noticing common themes. I’m 28 now, grew up in middle class conservative Houston, Texas. I watched my dad created a business out of nothing, he taught me hard work and being fair to others. Most my family came from Tennessee, being raised southern doesn’t mean racism was apart of it, mostly just how to be a good southern man. That being said, when you grow up learning how to treat others kind and with care and its not returned or in void…you start noticing things.
In my world a man opens a door for a woman, he doesn’t cuss in front of women and he isn’t rude in public unless he needs to be. You put that light on the average black person and you will almost always see a contrast.
In sales I find its a black person that has constant attitude, they are rude and cuss like its nothing. I hardly ever see a black man opening a door for his loved one, instead its her job to simply follow him and do what he says. The black person feels that America still owes him for whatever reason being “my daddy or mommy left me, the white man screwed me, I grew up on food stamps, poor side of town, my ancestors were slaves” a lot of irresponsible statements that have nothing to do with taking charge of their own lives or destinies.
Bottom line, yes i’m racist. My favorite part is, black people who are decent don’t even like their own people. They don’t want to be on the side of town where black ghetto people live. While I don’t care for the redneck side of town, at least the average latino or white guy is kind enough to let you borrow a phone to make an emergency call without asking for anything in return….have yet to come across a safe circumstance similarly in the ghetto.
Melissa Devore,
Canton, OH.
Ami Bogin,
England.
I get “where are you from?” so often (or the polite “Your accent’s different…” of the British, or the more rude “You Chinese? Japanese?” sometimes from everywhere) in my life and thirty years in I still don’t know how to provide an answer, or at least an answer that will satisfy the questioner. It nearly always feels like there are assumptions behind this question, and in asking they’re only asking for confirmation of their own fabricated story of me, my face, or my accent.
I was born and raised in New Jersey, and I identify with that the strongest, so I usually just say I’m American. Sometimes that will elicit a frustrated face, and I’ll continue that my parents were both born in Europe – my dad in France and my mom in Bulgaria. People will either say something like “ahh mixes breeds are cool” or something equally trite, or press on, helpfully mentioning that I look “Chinese or something,” and where are my grandparents from. That’s a bit harder – most were born in Russia but my Grandma was born in Istanbul. Sometimes people will then ask if “I’m from” the “Mongolian side” of Russia. But the truth is my grandparents all look Asian as well and descended from a small region in European Russia called Kalmykia. When they try to convince me of the region’s location in the Asian side of Russia and I point it out not far from Ukraine and Georgia, they press further. Only until I mention that the area was populated by people who descended from the Mongols in 17th century do people back off – “Ah, you’re Mongolian.”
So there’s your riddle. What am I? Am I what you would consider “Russian” even though the people I descended from were exiled from that region in the early 1900s, forcing my family to immigrate around central Europe? Am I American/French as my passports allude to? Am I Mongolian, despite no one in the family knowing any Mongolian, or indeed having any cultural heritage remaining connecting us to it? Or Am I just me?
And is that enough for you?
To throw a final spanner in the works, I’ve been living in the UK for the past four years. To quote a Russian friend I met here “Americans are complicated”. In my experience, so many people are so complicated… But okay, I’ll take it.
I always hear about Asian Americans who have to hide from or embrace their roots, but what do you do if you don’t really have roots? It seems the “correct” approach to identity to to embrace the cultural ancestry, but can’t we just be okay being who we are?
I know my face will precede my story every time, but next time you ask, please do so out of genuine, open curiosity about me, and not to satisfy your own inner assumptions. And for those of you who get me on a bad day, a day when I’ve been ching chonged at (yes it happens on the streets of London and New York even), or Konnichiwa-ed at, have patience if I just don’t feel like answering.
Lyonel LaGrone Jr,
Urbana, IL.
Over the last 17 years I have held a number of positions that have required me to give presentations on various topics across the United States. Often, when presenting to predominately White audiences someone will approach me after a presentation and offer up as a compliment, “You are very articulate.” What they don’t know is that is an indirect insult. I have never heard anyone walk up to a fellow panelist who happens to be White and compliment they on their ability to speak fluently and coherently. I don’t want to be rude (like that person was) so I will express appreciation for the “compliment.” It is this sort of subconscious bias that a lot of professional Black males deal with on a daily basis.
Carly,
Philadelphia, PA.
I don’t think their parents, their media, their schools, their society, told them it was rude to write on other people’s identities without their permission.
Subscription to our newsletter open soon.
Indulge in timeless elegance with our hand-curated collection of luxury vintage men’s fashion. From classic suits to iconic accessories, our online store offers a premium shopping experience for the modern gentleman who appreciates quality and style. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe with our carefully selected pieces that celebrate the art of craftsmanship and heritage fashion.
