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How to think well of oneself?

B B,
Flathead Indian Reservation, MT.

One may change; one may relinquish imposed ideas of self. Maybe every day; maybe every hour. Maybe never.

I searched the Race Cards for the keyword “sorry”. Of the 32 six-word uses of the term, 22 were ironic, 8 were apologetic, and 2 were preceded with the word “not.” Of the ironic, 14 were self-voiced and 8 were other-voiced. Of the apologetic, three apologized for ancestors, 2 for immediate family, and 3 for self. Of the apologetic for self, 2 cited ignorance corrected and 1 indicated confusion. No apologies were self-directed.

Searches for “love” and “hate” produced uncounted results; of 19 occurrences of “thank” about 2/3 were genuine, two followed by “God,” and one from the Project itself. No expressions of gratitude were self-directed.

I was unable to determine the total number of Cards submitted. I’m curious if they are curated.

When I say “change,” I mean “for better” and “for worse.” When I say “ideas,” I mean positive ones and negative ones. When I say “never,” I mean “some people never change” and “never disempower yourself.” Which did you read?

I’ve learned that when I allow my behavior to be altered by an assumption in even the smallest way, the effect will be immense because so many people do exactly the same thing.

I was reminded (by searching “articulate”) that many of the compliments I’ve received (not all offensively qualified) have been delivered with an “it’s like a talking dog” kind of look. It hadn’t occurred to me to be offended–I was triumphant that I had broken an illusion (one openly admitted, in a sense). I felt it as a duty, and that person will be a little less amazed (confused) next time they’re impressed.

Any errors above are my own.

Slave trader descendent attempts healing words

Lyn Franklin Hoyt,
Nashville, TN.

I’m on a search, a journey for words, to figure out how my family heritage can be used for good to heal atrocities, rather than become a memory of evil. Not to hide that evil, but face it head on as recognition slavery was wrong and to talk about what really happened and how it resonates today. My family hid it. We were ashamed. Some in denial we have any responsibility for our past. I did not even know or understand that I descended from one of the worst slave trading families until I was in my 30’s. Now as a public school advocate I see clearly the generational impact that seems inescapable for some as legacy of slavery and the continuing racism and oppression that exists in this country. The Franklin family is well known in slavery history circles. Ironically my children carry the HOYT name, a family well known for their participation in the Underground Railroad in Ohio and leaders of anti-slavery abolitionist societies in Michigan. How can speaking out help heal rather than hurt? How do I honor my dead relatives while still recognizing they were very flawed? We are entering a time where people want to talk about this. For that I am grateful for this site.

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