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Ancestors were wrong. I am sorry.

Tim Minter,
Bellevue, NE

I am the descendant of slave holding Americans. My ancestors owned a plantation in Sedalia, SC – and, along with that plantation, slaves to work the land. Predictably, reconstruction bankrupted them – sharecropping wasn’t as efficient as outright owning people.

Family lore always sought to justify slave holding. I was taught at a young age that the civil war was the “war of Northern Aggression,” and that my ancestors fought against an invading Northern Army. Regarding the slaves, I was told that my ancestors “treated them like family” and that “they took our family name because we took good care of them.” (No, it was because we took their original identities away from them.)

A few years ago, I was standing in line to vote. I was wearing my military uniform on the way home from work. That uniform had a nametape on it with my last name. This little old African American lady saw my last name. She wanted to know if we were related. I didn’t have the heart to say “maybe,” because of what the implications of that might have been.

As I raise my children, I am trying to teach them to reckon with our family past. They dont need to be ashamed for what their ancestors did, but they also shouldn’t take pride in the things they did wrong either. Since the past is never dead – it’s not even past – they need to know where we’ve come with so they can understand the seams in our society. There is no way that the descendants of the slaves my ancestors owned did not have some negative impact from that atrocity committed upon them. We can’t make right that historical wrong, but we can make sure that we don’t commit our own. In an era where bigotry and intolerance thrives unashamed, we must be clear that all people have value.

Every Race Has Been A Slave

Jimmy Naughton
Colorado Springs, CO

Why does any race deserve restitution for their hardships? Every race has been enslaved, yet today’s discussions only ever focus on the Atlantic Slave Trade, i.e., the black slave. Hell, the Irish slaves were more plentiful in the English Empire, they were cheaper and treated far worse since they were Catholic, no thanks to Oliver Cromwell. If you go back far enough in history, you can find the dark pasts of every civilization and of every group of people. People of all races and all backgrounds will never be able to achieve peace if all they ever do is focus on the past and demand restitution for ancestors that are long dead from “perpetrators” who are also long dead. My family, both adopted and biological, come from all over Europe. I have blood from Germany, England, France, Czechoslovakia, Ireland, Poland, Italy, Romania, Serbia, and Ukraine. My ancestors came to America on a boat in 1915, when German and Hungarian forces invaded their village in Serbia during WWI, Serbia having been part of the Allied Forces. But you don’t see me at the German Embassy demanding restitution for the hardships that my family went through. Some of my ancestors were kidnapped, enslaved, and murdered by Barbary Pirates, yet you don’t see me demanding restitution from Muslims and North Africans? You see me focusing on the present and the future, using the opportunities given to me by my ancestors to succeed today, as well as continuing to see people’s character and not their color.

Amazing Grace. No more family secret.

Daryl Bruce Denning,
Corning, NY

Raised “white”. At 52, December 2001, I learned of my ancestors of color. I do not know the origin of my European surname, as I have only traced it back to my mixed race great-great-great-grandfather William Denning. Found his wife, my great-great-great-grandmother, with an obituary in 1880 stating she had lived to 113 and had been a slave “down east”. They migrated from the Hudson Valley of New York where Cornelia Denning apparently had been a slave, to the southern tier of NY. One of their sons was active in the Underground Railroad, taking fugitive slaves to Canada. One of his sons was a Medal of Honor recipient as a Buffalo Soldier during the Indian Wars. Another son served with my great-great-grandfather with a NY Regiment of US Colored Infantry in the Civil War. Both were wounded in July, 1864 in South Carolina, but survived. One of their family died in the regimental hospital in South Carolina due to illness, part of the same company and regiment as his father and the other two. One of my great-great-grandfather’s brothers passed as white and served in a hite regiment. There is much, much more history on my family tree of color which has made my life a more fulfilling one. To think I might have never known of my true heritage all because of our sad American legacy of racial divide. May that history yet evolve to a true America of Amazing Grace.

White Baby Boomer Low Wage Slave.

Skyler Crane
Oceanside, CA

There is a small splash of African in my ancestry, never talked about, though obvious in physical traits of many of my relatives, Why I give my Race Card sentence is that born a baby boomer to low, very low, middle class WASP parents, i was not given or alerted to the financial & social aids of other races in America, not wealthy enough to be “in the know” of scholarships, grants, financial aids, I feel i represent a forgotten group of American youth who turned to the “Counter Culture Revolution” BECAUSE we could see no viable future, no clear, deliberate, “helping hand up” for us. I, as many, many, others of my age, ethnic, and financial means, have humbly, steadfastly, honestly, continued to be solid workers in the community, allowing so many to step up and succeed on our backs, and that we do this without regret at the forefront of our minds, our hearts. Regret, albeit kind regret, with respect and humility, comes now in older age when I hear of the strife of others who actually had a Race Card that was NEVER afforded to me. Thanks for the avenue to speak this truth.

Who are your ancestors. Be honest.

Eliza-Jan-Van-Mater-Van-DornAlison Bailey,
Bloomington, IL.

Yes. I’ve been able to find out who my 3d greatgrandmother is until recently. She was the bastard child of Joseph C. Van Mater, or “Big Joe,” as he was called. The Van Mater family were early settlers in Monmouth County, New Jersey. Big Joe was the largest slave holder north of the Mason Dixon line. He own almost 100 people. His story is mind-boggling, and almost forgotten. I’ve summarized it below.

Eliza Jane Van Mater: Joseph van Mater’s Illegitimate Daughter?
I want to start my story with Eliza Jane because her life, until recently, was a mystery to me. Her grave is marked with an ostentatious headstone, yet the pedigree trail for Louisa’s mother immediately dead ends. Her last name is the only clue to her past. The Van Maters were among the earliest families to settle in Monmouth County, but she does not show up in any of the family trees. We don’t know much about her, but in this case, the backstory is more interesting, and worth telling.

At the age of seven, Joseph Van Mater leaves Eliza Jane the extraordinary sum of $7000 in his will, but the family relationship between the two is not made clear in the will, probated on 20 January, 1821. As one of the most wealthy men in the region, “Big Joe,” as he was called, had an immense amount of property to dispose of upon his death. His first and only wife, Catherine, died 11 months after they were married, and he is reported to be so grief stricken that her never remarried. He gives his land and most of his slaves, furniture and household items and money to immediate family members, and without reference to any family:“To Eliza Jane Van Mater, £1,400.” Eliza is listed in the orphan’s index. The citation reads: “VANMATER; Jan 1833. Eliza Jane VanMater, a minor over 14 yrs, and a legatee of Joseph VanMater, dec’d elected Joseph H. VanMater and Holmes VanMater as her guardians. One charitable reading is that, Eliza was an orphan Van Mater took to kindly, she took his name and at some point elected Joseph H. Van Mater and Holmes Van Mater to be her guardians. However, it was more likely that she was his illegitimate daughter and he saw to it to leave her a large dowry.

Joseph H. and Holmes [I think they were second cousins] were the appointed executors to administer his estate to take care of all of his ‘orphans’, including his “black family, or the black people that have belonged to my family.” George C. Beekman’s book, Early Dutch Settlers of Monmouth County (1919), includes a copy of “Big Joe’s” will, and tells the following story:

A story has been current for some two generations, among the farmers of Holmdel and Atlantic townships, that “Big Joe” VanMater, childless and wife- less, wanted to own an even 100 adult slaves, but although he made many efforts, yet when he reached this number, some accident or fatality would happen, which would cut down his “human chattels” to ninety and nine. As it was, he had more than he knew what to do with. After his death they were all set free, as directed by his will. Many of them by years of dependence for food, clothing and shelter on their easy going, good-natured master, were like children, unable to take care of themselves [sic]. Neither were they content with a new place of abode. They clung to their old home.

It is said that after “Big Joe’s” death the road from what is now the Phalanx to Colts Neck, was black with these newly freed negroes, and they wandered back and forth, perplexed and bewildered with the great change. For it was hard to find another home, where the “black people” would be treated as part of the family, and where there was another man, like lonely, but good-natured and generous-hearted “Big Joe” VanMater.

Many of them sought homes and shelter from Joseph H. and Holmes VanMater, the devisees and legatees of the deceased. For in his will he strictly charges them to take care of the “black people of my family” and “those which had belonged to the family.” This brought upon these two men, all the helpless and indigent ones of this estate, as well as those of their grandfather and father.

There are people….who remember Joseph H. VanMater when he drove over to church at Holmdel on Sundays. Not only his immediate family, but crowded in with the whites, in a big carryall, would be all the colored people who wished to go to church. This burden of the negroes, together with heavy legacies charged in the will of “Big Joe” made a heavy financial load for his devisees to carry. For the land brought in no income except as farmed and the profits were then small.

Caring for so many proved to be costly, and I’m guessing that executors were forced as some point to sell his land. Members of a new utopian community “The North American Phalanx,” the largest and most successful of some 28 communes found in the United States in the 1830s and 1840s purchased VanMater’s estate for their new social experiment. When they moved in they found a number of free Blacks living on the old plantation and simply evicted them.

Sources: Graham Russell Hodges, Slavery and Freedom in the Rural North:African Americans in Monmouth. Oxford, U.K: Madison House (1996); George C. Beekman, Early Dutch Settlers of Monmouth County. Freehold, NJ:Moreau Brothers Publishers, 1919; Judith B. Cronk, Intestates and Orders from The Orphan Court Books of Monmounth County, New Jersey, 1785-1906. Baltimore, MD: Clearfield Company, Inc. (2002).

Black and part of the solution.

Maurice Kemp,
San Antonio, TX.

I did not choose my race. No one did. I was born into a world with preconceived notions about my race and others. We all were. I entered a world with plenty of recorded and unrecorded history. We all did. I cannot account for any of the history that predates me. No one can. And so, I cannot be given credit for nor can I be condemned for the circumstances that I was born into. And the same can be said for everyone. I was not born a slave; even if my ancestors were up to a certain point in time. And so, I cannot say in earnest that I know what it means to be a slave. I was not born during the Jim Crow era. Despite the fact that my parents were; I cannot say in earnest that I know what it means to be economically, socially and politically disenfranchised and unequally protected by the law. The world that I have been born into is not perfect. And the society that I was born into is not completely fair; but, it is far more fair than it was at its beginning.

Now that I am here, I am accountable for my choices and for my actions; as we all are. So, it really doesn’t matter that I didn’t have a choice about my looks, my race, nor the surroundings that I was born into; because I have limitless choices when it comes to how I process the good and the bad, the struggles and the challenges and the goodwill and ill-will. I can choose to be a part of the problem or I can choose to be part of the solution. Being part of the solution means being that which I desire to see in the world. I cannot entertain spite, resentment and hostility when dealing with bad, the challenging and those of ill-will. Reciprocating these things will only perpetuate the problems we all face. I choose to work to develop myself, to encourage others, to seek justice for the wrongs that currently exist. With respect to the past, I prefer to learn from it not live in it. With respect to the future, I prefer to treat it like it truly matters. And this means putting my present time to its best use. There are specific ways that I am doing this. For example, I strive daily to be the best father I can to my 11 year old son. This effort requires being a role model, a proponent of self-development and a humble student of life. I am Black. But I pride myself in being a part of the solution which means producing value that benefits me and the world around me.

We’ve got a new lawyer now

protest-trailerDavid Rotenstein,
Silver Spring, MD.

Africville was a community of African Canadians on Bedford Bay in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It was settled in the early 1800s by former American slaves who went to Canada as Black Loyalists and as slaves during the American Revolution and War of 1812. After decades of neglect by the city of Halifax, Africville’s homes were razed and its residents displaced into public housing projects elsewhere in Halifax. In the 1990s the former residents and their heirs sued for reparations. After achieving a small settlement – a park was created in the former community, an apology issued, and a museum was built – Africville’s people still wanted to be made whole. My six words, told to me in 2016 by one of the former residents, captures the hope and despair of people in communities throughout the Americas whose lives and livelihoods were destroyed by environmental racism and greed.

Name of cemetery doesn’t change history

slave-cemeteryLonna Jo Bowen-AlMoctar,
Louisville, KY.

I am from a clan of hillbillies in Eastern Kentucky. My family has a swath of land, called Bowen Farms, near Red River Gorge. As long as I can remember, the old cemetery on my family’s land has been called the “slave cemetery”. My Uncle has always kept up with its care. My Dad has built a Bed and Breakfast up there and now refers to the cemetery as the “African American cemetery”. I find this so insulting; it is as if he is erasing the history of those buried here all so that his B & B will have a nice clean image.

Mimi, you could have owned me.

Mary Crabtree,
Wooster, OH

This is what my 6 year old bi-racial granddaughter said to me this summer. We had read a picture book about one of my personal heroes, Harriet Tubman, and I was explaining slavery to her. She rubbed her arm, which is a lovely tone of brown, and then my slightly tanned white arm, and recognized that I am white, and she is brown. She looked at me and said, “Mimi, you could have owned me.” I was speechless! I am from “Bleeding Kansas” a proud free state, and currently live in Ohio, one of the bastions of the Underground Railroad. I’m a lifelong free-stater, have always believed in equality of all people, and this just took my breath away. She’s very bright, so I had to face this, and discuss it with her. I had to talk about the issues “back then,” and the issues “now” that people of color face. She said, “Oh, I know you would not be mean, Mimi, but some people are, I hear them at school, but it doesn’t bother me….I’m a beautiful brown girl, right?” Of course she’s beautiful, and she’s brown…but I began to wonder….isn’t she JUST beautiful? Can she be a beautiful girl…because that’s how I always thought of her…as my beautiful granddaughter…her color or race, has never mattered…and frankly, still doesn’t!

I’m More than, Less than Accepted

20140803_083219Nicole Reynolds,
Virginia Beach, VA.

Race often goes hand and hand with self worth. Who am I in the world? What does that answer mean? How does it affect my life? Is there anything I can do to change that? I have Ugandan Blood, Taino Blood, Spanish Blood, Past African American Slave blood. What race am I? I’m human.

Topic: slavery. All eyes on Brooke

Daniel
Portland, OR

I grew up in a working-class and ever-so-slightly diverse part of a very white city, but I the bus across town with two dozen others to school K-12. As I grow older I sometimes recall classroom memories that make my current self uncomfortable. In 7th grade social studies we discussed slavery, and our white teacher showed one of those chilling diagrams of a slave galley jammed with chained and suffering people. I remember turning my head and looking at Brooke, the only African-American in the class. Her face was a steely mask.

From a white teenage girl’s perspective

Victoria N.
Fortson, GA

My ancestors came to America just like many others. Just because I am white, does not mean my family “owned” “slaves”. When an African American girl says to me “you’re so lucky to have that hair” or “I would pay a lot for some of your hair”, it makes me mad. Hair or material appearances should not be what you see when you look at someone. It’s about what is on the inside, not the color of one’s hair or skin! I have strawberry-blonde hair so I get called a “ginger” from all races. According to some people, I only have “half a soul”.

Being called a ginger hurts just as much as being called the N word. I like to drink Starbucks so I’m a “Typical white girl’? That term is degrading to teenagers like me. Just because I am white, does not make me privileged. My dad only makes about $30,000 a year. My mother is unemployed and homeless! Being white does not make someone racist or privileged. Do you see colleges or scholarships for “white” people? No, but you see them for African Americans. Also, to the African American boys that get mad when a white girl says she has a preference: For MOST of us, it’s not because you have dark skin, it’s because our mind is not physically attracted to you. Stop calling us racist or our DNA makeup. Our generation only has control of the future, not the past, so get over it.

Underpaid? Overworked? Frustrated? NOW imagine slavery.

John Leo,
Sag Harbor, NY.

This may be redundant since the release of and discussion about Twelve Years a Slave, but for many years I’ve seen and heard people complain about bosses and working conditions and I’ve empathized. But I’ve also reflected on how these modern days woes compare to SLAVERY. Being the property of another by law and the rule of armed repression. I can imagine those growing up under slavery perhaps taking it for granted, but I can’t imagine anyone “owning” slaves (or “owning people” as another writer correctly states it) as feeling morally comfortable, let alone superior in their role.

I believe civilization in general progresses toward justice first by recognizing past injustices. This project is a great step in that direction.
Thank you.

Feeling Conflicted about my family history

Romaine Martin II,
Richmond, VA.

I Think Ancestry.com is very therapeutic. You can spend hours researching your family’s cold cases. One bit of information I found out left me feeling unsure of how to feel at all.

“Green Gore was born, in 1816, the son of Robert Gore (1783 – 1870/1880) and Tomsey Jarrel,(1778 – 1850/1853) in Island Creek, Virginia. On 4 April 1840, Green’s parents gave him 217 acres of land on Island Creek, in the Pipestem area of Mercer County, West Virginia. Green never married, but, two years after receiving his property, he began raising a family with his negro slave, Sarah. By 1850, he had four children by her.”

How do I reconcile the fact that my 3 x great Grandmother “Sarah” was held captive in a “relationship” where she was viewed as property? Some people would say this was a type of “love”… but to me at best it would have been a form of Stockholm syndrome. As a Black man, I can take no pride in the history…but as a human being I can acknowledge the past, explore the steps of my ancestors and be thankful I’m here to escort my family into the future.

Stop saying I can’t be offended.

Becky Watts,
North Little Rock, AR.

I am an African American, and I am often told by White People when I can and can not be offended. This is extremely hurtful, because I am treated as if I am a 5 year old child who’s hyper imagination created racism. You can not tell me not to feel uncomfortable when I see the Confederate flag in someones lawn. I feel uncomfortable when I have to see a symbol that represents the enslavement and murder of people who look like me. I am offended when I over hear White students saying I was accepted in to their college because I am Black. Instead of telling me when I can be offended, why don’t you just listen.

Which category do I belong to?

248715_10150655579840524_6563303_nPatrilie Hernandez,
Washington, DC.

When you look at me, what race do you see? Do you see my dark skinned grandparents, whose African relatives escaped from the Dutch slave trade? Do you see my last name, which reflects my “Latina” heritage, or do you see a brunette “white” girl, after hearing the way I speak and act? Racially ambigous is the term they use, but ignores the beautiful mesh of colors and culture that make me….me.

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