suburban Archives - The Race Card Project

Not white enough, not black enough

February 28, 2022 black enough, Cassie C., interracial, lips, middle class, Native American, skin tone, socialized, society, southern, suburban, too black, too white, VA, white enough

Cassie C.,
VA

As the child of an interracial couple (which are not just black & white but also Native American) that ended in divorce – and my parents remarried people of similar races – it has been a struggle to truly fit in anywhere. A Sociologist would say I’ve been “socialized” as a southern, middle class, suburban white girl, but my hair, skintone, nose, and lips say otherwise. Growing up with my white mother, stepfather, brother, surrounded by my 99.9% white family, I stood out – and still do. It has always been difficult to date because of this; I’m not white enough for most men, not black enough for most black men’s families. Not white enough for society to see who I really am… but black enough to still get racially profiled when shopping.

I’m not basically white, I’m suburban

February 3, 2022February 3, 2022 @PetiteKaybee, suburban, twitter, washington dc, white

KayBee,
Washington DC.
Submitted via Twitter: @PetiteKaybee

So many racists look like me

October 20, 2021February 14, 2022 homophobic, judge, middle class, PA, passing, pittsburgh, Racist, Robert Goffeney, suburban, whit eman, xenophobic Nazi

Robert Goffeney,
Pittsburgh, PA

At first, I thought it would be difficult to come up with six words to encapsulate my experience of race as a middle-aged, middle class suburban white man. Immediately after that thought, my six words bubbled up out of – somewhere. People will never cross the street to avoid passing me on the sidewalk, but mine is the face of nearly every racist, homophobic, xenophobic Nazi you see on cable news and on Twitter.

Black clients funded our white flight.

August 24, 2021August 24, 2021 1970's, African American, Black, busing, client, clientele, complexion, DC, decline, integrated, Jane Meacham, Kansa City, MO, quality, school district, suburban, Washington, white, white flight, working-class

Jane Meacham,
Washington, DC.

My dad is a lawyer in Kansas City, MO, who always had mostly black, working-class clients. When the city school district started to decline in quality in the early 1970s, we moved away to a nearly all-white suburban school district nearby. So I realize now, all these years later, that his African-American clientele’s fees inadvertently helped us flee the changing complexion of a busing-integrated school system.

I survived the white flight.

July 3, 2021July 3, 2021 braids, Childhood, GA, Janet Jackson, lanscaping, Lilburn, Misty Johnson, neighborhood, suburban, survived, white flight

Misty Johnson,
Lilburn, GA.

I moved to Georgia in 1988 when I was 8 years old. My father left his job on the oil rigs to start his own landscaping company in Lithonia, Georgia. I was a minority at my elementary school back in Texas, which was predominately Hispanic. The move to Atlanta was different because of the largeer African American population. After a year or so of living in the suburban neighborhood, all of the white people started moving. My family didn’t have the means to move but within a year and a half I was the only white girl in my class in school. My nickname was actually white girl at one point and I really absorbed the African America culture. I even went so far as to get braids in my hair to look like Janet Jackson from Poetic Justice. (Loved that movie) There is no way anybody can ever tell me that race does not play a role in who you are or how you are perceived. Who I’am today was shaped by by my childhood of being around different cultures and races.

Indian-American but live like white

June 7, 2021June 7, 2021 anonymous, dress like, eat like, Hindi, hyphen, Indian, Indian American, language, live, suburban, USA, white, yuppie

Anonymous,
USA.

I speak no Hindi. Live in a big suburban house. Dress and eat like a yuppie white person. What makes me Indian?

My abuse was invisible because I’m white

May 9, 2021May 10, 2021 abuse, cage, fake kindness, hurt, Invisible, Jack, Materialism, MN, mom, privilege, rejected, SAINT PAUL, shame, suburban, suffocating, white

Jack,
Saint Paul, MN.

My mom is an expert in manipulation and fake kindness, always sounding kind to hurt and control and shame.
Because of rampant child discrimination across cultures, it was not hard for my mother to convince others that she was right, or to uphold the illusion of a happy “white suburban family”. For holidays, she would buy toys and tell my relatives to buy gifts she knew I hated. She built up lies about my identity, and when I got angry and rejected them all she said I was spoiled and arrogant.
Now I’ve moved out on my own, and am in a transitional living program. Although many people now understand my case better, I have experienced quite a few times the notion that my child abuse wasn’t as bad as black kids (it was mostly black people telling me this when they brought up race), that ‘white kids’ have it easy or treat their parents like shit or it’s the kid’s fault, that they have no problems and their families are too nice. People said I came from white privilege because my middle class over-abundant materialism was a suffocating cage used to control and destroy me. How is this privilege?

I’m from northern suburban New Jersey.

November 15, 2020November 15, 2020 College Park, Ian Heinz, MD, NJ, suburban

Ian Heinz,
College Park, MD.

Enough said.

White Conservative #Don’t Assume I’m Racist

August 4, 2019August 4, 2022 assume, conservative, Dubuque, IA, label, midwestern, political views, Quinn Meyer, Racist, suburban, white

Quinn Meyer,
Dubuque, IA

Growing up a white, conservative male in a suburban Midwestern town automatically attaches labels to me. We all live with labels. Some are self-assigned, and some are assigned by society. More labels I’ll add to my resume include Catholic, private-school educated, intact family unit with married parents and two brothers, healthy, and politically active to name a few of my labels. You probably already have an image of who you think I am. That is how society works. We assign labels, and then we assume they are true. Aren’t you sick and tired of labels? I am!
Never has there been a time in my life that I have felt the negative impact of labels than I have throughout this past election cycle. Labels and division between people were rampant and downright ugly. As a conservative thinker, I found myself in a minority position on my college campus. People accused me of being unsympathetic towards Blacks and minorities because of my political ideology. Political views are complex. My political views are more fiscally conservative- based and socially/morally conservative. I really don’t believe I have any racism in my thoughts. I have friends of many races and colors. I am sick of people labeling me and assuming I’m racist because I’m white and conservative. People have got to stop making assumptions!

You’re American? Were you born here?

February 25, 2019February 25, 2019 American, Araceli, Born, CA, does it matter, middle class, neighborhood, Pasadena, payches, suburban, taxes, where are you from

Araceli,
Pasadena, CA.

No I wasn’t born here. Does it really matter? My family moved to this country when I was 2.5 yrs old. I grew up in the US. My family lived in a middle class suburban neighborhood. We all speak to each other in English. We’re just Americans who also pay 23% of each paycheck to taxes.

Even a poor conversation beats silence.

November 28, 2018February 21, 2021 conversation, coversation, elephant in the room, first experience, High School, MA, mixed, Nicholas Howe, Northhampton, silence, Smith College, sports, suburban, swim team, tension

Nicholas Howe,
Northhampton, MA.
Smith College

I attended a mixed-race suburban public high school in Connecticut, where I competed on both the swim team and the track team in the late 80’s. Only one member of the swim team was African American, and his race was the elephant in the room that nobody would talk about. As a result, while I recall no overtly racist incidents, a feeling of suspended tension always hung about his interactions with the rest of the team. By contrast, the track team was more racially balanced and issues of race were unavoidable. The conversation wasn’t always pretty, with plenty of teasing on all sides and probably a good deal of stereotyping as well. But the atmosphere was good-natured for the most part and certainly felt to me a whole lot more healthy than the nervous silence in the locker room by the pool.

Damn, did you see that White girl?

September 27, 2018September 27, 2018 being white, class, Colorblindness, embarrassed, entitled, exclusion, first experience, Harlem, humbled, implicit bias, Lisa Jasinsk, Microaggressions, Power, racial minority, San Antonio, self-conscious, structural segregation, suburban, The Apollo Theater, Trinity University, TX, USA, vulnerable, White girl

Lisa Jasinsk,
Trinity University

In 2007, I spent a year working at The Apollo Theater in Harlem, NY. One day on my way into the office, I slipped on an icy sidewalk on 125th Street, and in a comic prat fall, landed on my bottom in a filthy puddle. A group of guys gathered outside the corner grocery busted up laughing, “Damn, did you see that White girl?”

In the moment, I was embarrassed, self-conscious, and humbled. I wanted to hide and to be anywhere else. I think I just ignored the guys, picked myself up, and walked on. At the time, I remember feeling especially vulnerable when my race was called out, recognizing that being White was something I rarely thought about (in my entitled, privilege way).

In so many ways, that year working in Harlem taught me so much. A decade later, I continue to build on what I was only beginning to figure out as I found myself in the racial minority for the first time in my life. I began to see how the “colorblindness” rhetoric of my suburban upbringing masked lived experiences and disguised hard truths. I began to see the complex ways that structural segregation, microaggressions, exclusion, implicit bias, class, power, and overt discrimination had played out in my own life and the lives of others. And once I saw it, I could never unsee it.

Education is the key to change

July 16, 2018July 16, 2018 Acceptance, america, Autumn Segrest, change, education, Highland Heights, identity, key to change, KY, oppressor, school, shape, struggle, suburban, teacher, traditional, white woman

Autumn Segrest,
Highland Heights, KY.

As a white woman from suburban America, it can be hard to understand the struggles of the countless people who were not born into whiteness. Their experiences with racism and prejudice shape their identity as much as my privilege shapes mine. But through education, whether it be traditional schooling or sharing ideas, we can fight against the oppressors of our time and blossom into a world of acceptance.

Done Being the Token Black Girl

February 7, 2018February 7, 2018 Black, black girl, Ebony, Farmington Hills, majority, MI, suburban, thrive, token, Wake up

Ebony,
Farmington Hills, MI.

I grew up in a place where Black people felt they made it. A suburban community where the majority of residents were Black, employed, and thriving. It was wonderful growing up in this setting but it created unrealistic expectations for what the “real world” was and what life is like for the majority of people who are Black in this country. When I did wake up to take a look around at all of the injustices towards Blacks there is no way I can ever go back to sleep.

Can we talk about white culture?

August 8, 2016August 9, 2016 Chaska, culture, Debby Irving, Jennifer Campbell, journey, Minneapolis, MN, suburban, Waking Up White, white culture

Jennifer Campbell,
Chaska, MN.

Growing up in suburban Minneapolis I never had to talk about my skin color or rarely meet others of a different color. As an adult I am a special education teacher who works in a suburban school. I’ve been on a journey trying to be more aware of diversity. I joined a book club through my school called Waking Up White by Debby Irving. Until I read this book I never even realized that white people have a culture; how could I not realize this? This book has really opened up my thoughts and has helped me in my continued journey about race. I know I’ve just really getting started on my journey.

Can we talk about white culture?

May 4, 2016May 4, 2016 1970's, 1980's, bridging the gap, Chaska, classroom, Debby Irving, Jennifer Campbell, MN, school, special education, suburban, teacher, white culture

Jennifer Campbell,
Chaska, MN.

Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s in suburban Minneapolis I did not have many opportunities to meet people from another culture or race from my own. I continue to work in a suburban school district as a special education teacher. Again, the dominant race and culture is white. Students of color have to navigate this culture on a daily basis. I need to continue my work to have a greater understanding of my students. I have been working on my views about “bridging the gap” in education. It wasn’t until I joined a book club through my school district that I began to see that I do have a culture. The book Waking Up White by Debby Irving opened my eyes to so many things that I did not know or could even begin to understand. I know now that whites have a culture. It isn’t a positive or negative culture- it just is. I know I have a lot of work to do in my journey toward “finding myself in the story of race” to quote Debby Irving.

I’m urban anglo not suburban white

July 8, 2014 Anglo, Brooklyn, English, NY, southwest, Spanish, speak, suburban, urban, white

Leslie
Brooklyn, NY

From the southwest. Speak English and Spanish.

My surprise moment – I’m a minority

May 7, 2013May 7, 2013 Chinese, Minority, NJ, suburban, Summit, Surprise

Alex
Summit, NJ

Technically on this planet I am a majority being of Chinese decent and male, but growing up in suburban white northern NJ I had no minority friends and sometimes would be painfully aware that my immigrant family was quite different from all my friends. All of whom didn’t even have a relative who was born in any other country. But often, in the day to day – I would forget that I was not white, until I would see another minority.

Join the Newsletter

Info

Join our community