Laura A Cruz,
Hicksville, NY
The gender roles are the expectations that society has for how people act, speak, dress, and groom based on their assigned sex.
Gender roles can also have a tremendously negative impact on a person’s mental health. I often fill all my roles and leave the person I am for last. I am restless, mad at myself, and feeling empty at times!
In my culture, the role of a woman is extremely hard to fulfill:
In Colombia, We have beauty standards – the ideal body for women has been established as having large breasts, a thin abdomen, and large, firm buttocks and legs.
Family life is essential in Colombian culture, so you must sacrifice all as a woman to keep the family together. Men are the primary income earners for the family, while women are expected to be the homemakers. If the men cheat, you move on and act like it never happened; people will make you internalize, “You can’t let the other woman win!” forget about the pain, and focus on the ego instead! Fidelity isn’t a thing that most Colombians worry about. They don’t consider a side of love as being wrong or even unusual. All they ask for is discretion.
Colombians are generally expected to be loyal and committed to their families, putting the family’s interests above their own. People will often go out of their way to support their relatives.
You must always talk to people with respect, and it starts at home with the “rule that you should always use titles like “Señor” (Sir) or “Señora” (Madam) unless told otherwise.” You must respond like that to your parents and adults when they call your name.
Education is crucial because if the man leaves you and takes everything he provides, at least you will have your education. By the way, you must graduate College with a promising career. There is no time for following your dreams.
If your parents gave you a chance to be born, you are already in debt to them forever. You better be prepared to take care of them when they age.
Marriage ceremonies and services usually follow the Roman Catholic tradition. Colombian families stay together no matter what because “you made a promise in front of God.”
If you got pregnant before getting a career, “you ruined your life,” parents and relatives will judge, and you feel like you are the most irresponsible person in this world.
If you gained significant weight during pregnancy and or after, you better lose it because the man will find another woman with a better body than yours!
You better learn how to cook for your man because men love to eat, or he will find another woman to do it for you and replace you.
Domestic violence is a big thing in Colombian Culture and there is this phrase that comes along with it “La ropa sucia se lava en casa” which translates “dirty clothes are washed at home” if you talk about it to family members they will be most likely to say ” that’s the life you chose! I told you once you cross that door there is no going back!” so women stay in violent relationships. Femicides remain an alarming issue in Colombia, with a significant number of women and girls falling victim to gender-based violence.
In Colombian culture, nothing is ever enough for some parents; they always expect more from you. Not enough credit is given to all the hard work you put into your pursuits.
For all the reasons listed above, I will raise my children with my own beliefs, not the ones dictated by my culture!
The chain of nonsense with my family breaks here, with me!
La cadena de mi familia se rompe aqui, conmigo!
