You can raise your daughter white

Minneapolis, MN

As a descendant of Germans and Scandinavians, I am termed WHITE. My daughter is is a strawberry blonde with creamy white skin and blue eyes. Again and again I have been asked how it was possible when her father is an African American. I have heard, “he can’t actually be her father” and people will pry into his family history and say, “oh, her father must be mixed”. Upon seeing an extended family picture, a co-worker said, “I didn’t know your daughter was … mulatto”. The most insulting and hurtful thing I have heard is when after my relationship with my daughter’s father ended, having a family member say to me, “Don’t worry, you can raise her white”.

I am uncomfortable with race. I do know a lot about white privilege, but honestly, I do feel some guilt about race in America. I love my daughter and I love her rich family history. I find her fair hair and blue eyes an amazing feat of genetics given both her father and I have brown eyes and hair. I am hurt and angry that my daughter is not allow to be seen for who she is: a wonderful and happy two-year-old.


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